Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇫 has downloaded:

If politicians can text my cell phone asking for money, I should be able to text them directly with policy suggestions.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has bookmarked:

The children seemed disappointed when I told them the best part about being an adult is going to bed early.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has shared:

One of the great things about being a dad is how easy it is to launder my own desire for ice cream through my children.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has copied:

Worst part of a corporate job is no tips. Someone should slip you a $20 if you write a killer email.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has bookmarked:

I love putting on warm underwear fresh out of the dryer. Plus, it’s fun to look around the laundromat and guess who they belong to.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has copied:

You don’t need fun to have alcohol.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has viewed:

If you ever have a crush on someone and want it to end, listen to a podcast they are on.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has shared:

Hey, sorry I can’t go out tonight. I already showered and got into bed, and now I’m busy rubbing my feet together like a little grasshopper.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has copied:

I dare you to try and be more single than me.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has downloaded:

I lost my appetite for doing work. If you find it, you can keep it.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

300 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,569

Funny Quotes Topics

17,627

Funny Quotes Images

15,569

Updated

Jan 11, 2026

Users Online

3,467

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Conflicts may arise but always remember to be the bitter person.

Just landed via YouTube:

No rizz, just pretty eyes and many unsettling things to say.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

A couple of birds are outside fighting. Wait. They’ve quieted down. There’s a third bird. I think he may be their therapist.

Live now on Reddit:

Eleven out of ten people are stupid.

Just shared via YouTube:

Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird.

Going viral on Telegram:

I’ll bet the guy who invented the snooze button never invented anything else.

Freshly posted on Threads:

If you give a man a fish, he’ll eat for a day. But if you teach a man to fish, you’ll get the house to yourself on Saturdays.

Just landed via Discord:

Every guy wants to be called Daddy till that test comes back positive.

Seen just now on YouTube:

The lion does not concern himself with social proof.

Spotted on TikTok:

iPad PR is so crazy because you think you absolutely need one until you get it.

Duolingo does everything except actually teach you the language.

3 weeks ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Trying to master languages with Duolingo is like learning to swim in a kiddie pool! 🦉💬🏊‍♀️

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Trending Funny Quotes 👇

The main reason I got divorced was cause I got married.

6 months ago

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With certain people, you get nauseous just hearing their name.

2 months ago

annoyance, hearing, humor, just, name, nauseous, people, relationships, sarcasm
First responders? You mean reply guys?

2 months ago

comedy, first responder, guy, guys, humor, interaction, mean, media, online, online interaction, reply, reply guy, responder, sarcasm, social, social media
I slept for 11 hours last night, just wanted everyone with kids to know that.

1 week ago

everyone, exhaustion, hours, humor, i, just, kid, kids, know, last, night, parent, rest, sleep, wanted
Ironically jogging pants are mostly worn by the laziest people.

3 months ago

clothing, exercise, humor, irony, jogging, lazy, pants, people
There’s no filter on my pics or my thoughts. I’m just out here raw-dogging it.

2 months ago

authenticity, confidence, filter, here, honesty, just, no filter, pics, raw-dogging, self-expression, thoughts

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

64 shares on Threads this month:

Yes, I do talk to myself, everyone else just wants to argue with me.

86 shares on Pinterest this month:

I was brought up in the wild by hyenas. Times were hard, food was scarce but we had some great laughs.

18 shares on Reddit this month:

Forget cheating, that’s young people’s shit. I’m ready to get married and have an affair.

16 shares on Twitch this month:

Imagine being all knowing and still putting a snake in charge of apples.

62 shares on Messenger this month:

It takes only one person in this world to make you smile. It’s called a plastic surgeon.

40 shares on X this month:

Never eat more than you can lift.

36 shares on Pinterest this month:

Of course the laundry has to be done, but the wine doesn’t drink itself either.

96 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Worrying is just worshipping the problem.

95 shares on Discord this month:

You ever notice how when you get home from food shopping, the kids turn into airport security?

36 shares on Discord this month:

It’s a fabulous time to be alive if you love: verification codes, verifying your email, yelling ‘REAL PERSON’ into a phone at a robot, reading nightmarish news all day, every day, hot.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇾 has downloaded:

As a child, my family’s mealtime menu consisted of two choices: take it or leave it.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has viewed:

I’m not good with plants or people, but I am good with books and buffets.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has viewed:

If I were an organ, I’d fail.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has shared:

I do not like how Netflix threatens to start the movie while I’m just tryna read the description. Like, please, you’re making me anxious.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has bookmarked:

If overthinking burned calories, I’d never need to exercise again.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has copied:

Facebook: because time isn’t going to pass on it’s own.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has copied:

Can someone please invent 8 hours between 9 p.m. and midnight?

Someone from 🇮🇩 has shared:

Kids today will never understand how many ninjas there were in the 1980s.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has shared:

Ludacris once said “If you ain’t got no money take yo’ broke ass home” and I haven’t left the house since.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has bookmarked:

Imagine falling in love with me then finding out I’m a slow walker.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Twitch:

“I thought it might be nice to go round the room and say a bit about ourselves.” Oh dear, you thought wrong.

Live now on Pinterest:

Don’t forget to be mean to strangers on the internet today, for no reason whatsoever.

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

Bands are always like “here’s another song”. Yeah, no shit, that’s pretty much all you do.

Spotted on Twitch:

They should go crazier with lab-grown meat. Invent some new animals or something. Mammoth burger.

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

I don’t wanna party like it’s 1999, I want to pay my bills like it’s 1999.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

If you order a pizza with veggies on it, you can tell people you had a salad.

Just landed via Reddit:

Needs to be a Google Maps setting where you can ask them not to make you take a left across four lanes of oncoming traffic.

Just landed via Twitch:

I only use ‘sir’ disrespectfully.

Breaking via TikTok:

In filling out an application, where it says, “In case of emergency notify”, I put “Doctor.”

Just shared via Threads:

The PhD student is someone who foregoes their current happiness in order to forego future happiness.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Duolingo does everything except actually teach you the language.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

The main reason I got divorced was cause I got married.

With certain people, you get nauseous just hearing their name.

First responders? You mean reply guys?

I slept for 11 hours last night, just wanted everyone with kids to know that.

Ironically jogging pants are mostly worn by the laziest people.

There’s no filter on my pics or my thoughts. I’m just out here raw-dogging it.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨