Eight times a day, I ask myself which object in the office will hurt me enough so that I can go home, but at the same time won’t hurt too much.

Eight times a day, I ask myself which object in the office will hurt me enough so that I can go home, but at the same time won't hurt too much.

Commentary:
β€œAh, the eternal struggle of balancing work-life harmony! πŸ€”πŸ’ΌπŸ  Just remember, aim for a paper cut level of pain, not a concussion! πŸ˜‚πŸ“Ž #OfficeDilemmas”

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Trending Funny Quotes πŸ‘‡

  • That moment you turn down the music while driving around looking for a street address, so you can see better.

    Commentary:
    β€œAh, the classic driver’s dilemma: sacrificing your tunes for better visibility like a DJ detective on a mission! πŸŽ΅πŸ” Who needs GPS when you’ve got tunes-turned-down-eyepower? πŸš—πŸ’¨ #MusicVSAddresses”

  • Currently into monogamous friendships. If you have other friends, please don’t talk to me, it hurts my heart.

    Commentary:
    β€œFeeling like the human embodiment of a needy, jealous cat 🐱🚫 Friendship monogamy only for this one! πŸ˜‚ #FriendingForeverAlone”

  • His palm trees are Serengeti, destination wedding, luggage is heavy. There’s vomit on his tux already, Dollar store confetti.

    Commentary:
    Looks like this guy’s palm trees have bigger travel plans than most of us πŸŒ΄βœˆοΈπŸ’Ό Perhaps his luggage is heavy because he’s packed everything but the kitchen sink for those Serengeti vibes! πŸ˜‚πŸ¦’ #DestinationWeddingGoals #Eminem

  • I like people who can admit their mistakes and apologize. In other words, I like very few people.

    Commentary:
    β€œAdmitting mistakes and apologizing? Sounds like a rare species in the human world! πŸ™ˆ Finding those gems is like hunting for a four-leaf clover in a field of dandelions! πŸ€ Who knew humility and honesty could be such elusive traits! πŸ˜‚β€

  • Filling my PEZ dispenser with Ibuprofen for whimsical pain relief.

    Commentary:
    β€œBecause why pop a pill when you can pop a candy? Sweet relief meets bitter reality πŸ˜‚πŸ­πŸ’Š #PainPoppingPEZ”

  • Just seen the cost of funerals and no wonder people are living longer.

    Commentary:
    β€œLooks like the hefty price tag on funerals is the ultimate anti-aging remedy! πŸ’Έβ³ Who knew the fear of funeral bills could add years to your life? πŸ˜‚ #LifeHacks”