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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇬 has bookmarked:

Feminism convinced women they could have it all. Now they’re 40, independent, and crying in a very nice but empty apartment.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has downloaded:

Therapy is life letting you speak to the manager.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has shared:

It amazes me how much exercise and extra fries sound alike.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has bookmarked:

To the person who stole my place in the queue. I’m after you now.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has shared:

If you think nobody cares about you, try missing a couple of payments.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has viewed:

I leave the blue tick on WhatsApp so that people can see exactly when I wasn’t interested.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has shared:

Not much is worse than that feeling of going back to work after a lunch, or a vacation, or just going to work in general.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has viewed:

Boyfriends come and go… reply guys stay forever. Against your will, even.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has shared:

It’s like my wish isn’t even your command anymore…

Someone from 🇵🇾 has bookmarked:

Why socialize when you could party inside your room with your 10+ personalities?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2403 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,565

Funny Quotes Topics

15,241

Funny Quotes Images

12,565

Updated

32 minutes ago

Users Online

3,459

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Threads:

Asking the waiter for her phone number and then texting her “can I have more coffee?” two minutes later.

Live now on Telegram:

Just saw someone my age running and she wasn’t chasing an ice-cream truck.

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

I love how bananas just take over the whole smoothie. You can never dim her light.

Going viral on Facebook:

I just went to Crazy Town, and they said you’re a local legend.

Trending via Snapchat:

I used to think I was indecisive, but I’m not too sure any more.

Going viral on TikTok:

My car is making strange noises but it’s just me singing.

Just shared via WeChat:

Icarus loved hot wings.

Breaking via WeChat:

I’m so single, I have no one to drunk text.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Teens be like, “You know that crumbled up piece of paper that’s been on the table all week? I need it for school.”

Freshly posted on Discord:

I wish I had the determination of my wife, who’s still flipping through radio stations as we pull into our driveway.

Eight times a day, I ask myself which object in the office will hurt me enough so that I can go home, but at the same time won’t hurt too much.

Eight times a day, I ask myself which object in the office will hurt me enough so that I can go home, but at the same time won’t hurt too much.
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Commentary:
"Ah, the eternal struggle of balancing work-life harmony! 🤔💼🏠 Just remember, aim for a paper cut level of pain, not a concussion! 😂📎 #OfficeDilemmas"

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2403 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,565

Funny Quotes Topics

15,241

Funny Quotes Images

12,565

Updated

32 minutes ago

Users Online

3,445

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇩 has shared:

I followed my heart. It led me to the fridge.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has copied:

Date idea: We watch Breaking Bad and break your bed.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has shared:

I ghost family members too, so believe me, bro — it’s not personal.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has viewed:

They say dress for the job you want, but this baby diaper isn’t very comfortable.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has downloaded:

One or the other, Lord – I can’t be broke and heartbroken.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has bookmarked:

Me, gently telling my kids that I ate the rest of the ice cream: Your dad ate the rest of the ice cream.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has shared:

In my 20s: I’m gonna live forever! In my 40s: uh oh!

Someone from 🇦🇸 has shared:

Can’t believe penguins have to publish all those books with their tiny hands.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has copied:

You should always wear a helmet when doing dangerous things or talking about politics.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has viewed:

I had a marvelous time ruining everything.

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

That one person who has zero concept of what an indoor voice is.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Birthday sex is having sex to celebrate your parents having sex.

Shared recently on Slack:

“You’re a cardiologist? Is that like a fancy name for an auto mechanic?”

Live now on Reddit:

You had me at “We’ll make it look like an accident.”

Freshly posted on Discord:

That awkward moment when everything is going so perfectly… and then you wake up.

Making waves on YouTube:

If I had just one hour left to live, I’d spend it in Math class… it never ends.

Just landed via TikTok:

There are 8 billion people in the world and I only have 3 friends, and one is annoying.

Just shared via X:

Imagine hearing the ice cream truck music, but at night.

Just shared via Messenger:

Every time I stand up, my dog gets excited as hell. He understands that I’m a real man who can make shit happen at any given moment.

Just shared via Facebook:

They should invent a Sunday that’s longer than a couple of minutes.

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