Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"Ah, the eternal struggle of balancing work-life harmony! 🤔💼🏠 Just remember, aim for a paper cut level of pain, not a concussion! 😂📎 #OfficeDilemmas"

ask, day, escape, home, humor, hurt, i, me, much, myself, object, office, pain, same, time, times, too

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Unless I ask, I genuinely don’t care to hear other people’s opinions on my life. It’s almost a pet peeve, really.

0

5 months ago

almost, annoyance, ask, boundary, care, hear, honesty, i, interaction, life, opinion, opinions, peeve, personal, personal life, pet, pet peeve, social, social interaction
Getting the house to yourself for a night is basically winning the lottery.

0

2 months ago

alone, alone time, freedom, fun, getting, house, lottery, night, relaxation, solitude, time, winning, yourself
I’m so disappointed when I help my kid with her homework, and she brings it home marked incorrect.

0

2 months ago

child, correction, disappointed, disappointment, education, family, help, home, homework, humor, i, incorrect, kid, parent
Caveman: I just invented the wheel. Journalist: Here’s why the wheel is bad for humanity.

0

2 months ago

bad, caveman, critique, humanity, humor, i, invention, journalist, just, progress, satire, wheel
If you ever feel like something’s missing in your life, it’s probably me.

0

2 months ago

confidence, ever, feel, flirt, humor, joke, life, me, missing, playful, romantic, sarcasm, self-esteem
Imagine hating me, and I’m just over here talking baby talk to my plants.

0

2 months ago

baby, baby talk, hate, here, humor, imagine, just, me, over, plant, plants, talk, talking

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

56 shares on Facebook this month:

If I had a wife, I’d text her things like, ‘What’s your full name?’ and ‘When’s your birthday?’

52 shares on YouTube this month:

Sledding is the best! (until you have to walk back up the hill)

42 shares on Facebook this month:

I lied, there’s no sex. Can you tell me a bedtime story?

74 shares on Threads this month:

Gonna close my bank account and keep all my money on me, like Sonic the Hedgehog.

50 shares on Reddit this month:

They say the human body is 60% water, but after extensive observation of my husband and son, I’d like to submit a revision to the data. Those two are at least 50% wind.

98 shares on Threads this month:

A hot coffee and a crispy bagel doesn’t change anything but it can’t hurt.

62 shares on WeChat this month:

All positions for annoying people in my life have been filled. Applicants need not apply, thank you.

81 shares on Twitch this month:

I’ve added lunges to my workout routine. It’s a big step forward.

13 shares on Slack this month:

We’re all naughty, some just more than others.

56 shares on WeChat this month:

Today’s politics make me think we’re living in a movie where the villains actually win.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇾 has shared:

If I were a bird, you’d be the first person I’d shit on.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has copied:

Nothing is smaller than the X on ads to click them away.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has shared:

Willem Dafoe gets to be in two different Nosferatu movies, whereas the average person doesn’t even get to be in one.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has shared:

You should just baseline mistrust every single politician at every level until they prove themselves worthy of liking.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has shared:

Liberté. Egalité. Second Coffeé.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has copied:

I deserve an Oscar for telling my dentist I don’t eat candy.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has viewed:

I have a lot to offer! Most of it’s bad, but it’s still a lot.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has shared:

Printers are definitely the moody teenagers of the tech world.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has bookmarked:

“OMG I love your personality,” thanks, it’s a disorder.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has viewed:

It’s crazy that we’re closer to the year 3000 then I am to finding love.

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Slack:

Just got sacked from my job at a think tank for thinking about donuts.

Live now on TikTok:

Wanna come over and see my mis-matched sock collection?

Freshly posted on Messenger:

Why are conclusions necessary in essays? Were you not following?

Going viral on Slack:

These weekends are starting to feel as long as a lunch break.

Making waves on Threads:

Every night at bedtime I do one small ritual: six hours on my cell phone.

Shared recently on Telegram:

Deleting university to focus on Twitter.

Live now on X:

Went out of town, came back and the roomba changed all the locks.

Shared recently on Slack:

Weekends are a scam. You spend one day exhausted and the other anxious… like, what was that?

Shared recently on YouTube:

When my sister drives, I am NOT passenger princess, I am a survivor.

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

Farts are just the ghosts of the things we eat.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Eight times a day, I ask myself which object in the office will hurt me enough so that I can go home, but at the same time won’t hurt too much.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Unless I ask, I genuinely don’t care to hear other people’s opinions on my life. It’s almost a pet peeve, really.

Getting the house to yourself for a night is basically winning the lottery.

I’m so disappointed when I help my kid with her homework, and she brings it home marked incorrect.

Caveman: I just invented the wheel. Journalist: Here’s why the wheel is bad for humanity.

If you ever feel like something’s missing in your life, it’s probably me.

Imagine hating me, and I’m just over here talking baby talk to my plants.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨