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Commentary:
"Ah, the eternal struggle of balancing work-life harmony! 🤔💼🏠 Just remember, aim for a paper cut level of pain, not a concussion! 😂📎 #OfficeDilemmas"

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Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I have this rare skin disease called perfect.

1 month ago
disease, humor, i, irony, joke, perfect, self-confidence, skin, skin disease
I think social media is marvellous. You type your thoughts into it, and then insane people let you know if they like them or not.

5 months ago
communication, feedback, humor, i, insane, insane person, interaction, know, let, media, online, online interaction, people, person, social, social media, think, thought, thoughts, type
Being a goldfish must be brilliant. Every six seconds you’re pleasantly surprised to find that you live in a castle.

1 month ago
being, castle, every, goldfish, humor, life, live, perspective, simplicity, six, surprise
I used to be able to eat whatever I wanted without gaining weight. Now I pick up a fork and gain seven pounds.

2 months ago
age, diet, eat, eating, food, fork, gain, gaining, humor, i, pounds, struggle, used, wanted, weight
I enjoy driving because it combines my desire to sit with my talent for being angry.

1 month ago
activity, angry, being, desire, driving, enjoy, frustration, humor, i, sit, talent
If caterpillars are able to sleep for a long time and come out prettier, why cant I?

2 months ago
beauty, caterpillar, humor, i, patience, prettier, self-improvement, sleep, time, transformation

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Someone from 🇨🇩 has shared:

Guy in front of me at the movies was reading the popcorn Wikipedia page while he was eating popcorn.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has bookmarked:

Me: “I should treat myself to something.” My bank account: “Dream on.”

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Snow White and the seven dwarves of the menopause; Itchy, Bitchy, Sweaty, Sleepy, Bloated, Forgetful, and Psycho.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has copied:

You don’t get much engagement? Have you tried being retarded.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has copied:

Don’t forget to set your clocks back to seasonal depression this weekend.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has viewed:

I like riding by myself so I can replay 1 song 111 times with no complaints.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has shared:

I start each day assuming it will be horrible and go from there.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Slack:

One day you’re young and fun and the next you’re excited about your organized fridge.

Shared recently on TikTok:

I find pleasure in closing tabs in my wife’s brain. This worry… done. That task… complete.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Sparkling water tastes like that feeling when your foot falls asleep.

Spotted on Slack:

Think about how many more lovers you’d have if a cross country high-speed rail existed. That’s what they are taking away from you.

Trending via Messenger:

I have decided to purchase the grocery store because it is now cheaper than the groceries inside it.

Spotted on Twitch:

I’m going back to the 90s, if anyone wants to come.

Trending via Reddit:

It’s Mother’s Day Eve so remember to leave out a bottle of wine for Mom when she comes down the chimney.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Eight times a day, I ask myself which object in the office will hurt me enough so that I can go home, but at the same time won’t hurt too much.

I have this rare skin disease called perfect.

Being a goldfish must be brilliant. Every six seconds you’re pleasantly surprised to find that you live in a castle.

I used to be able to eat whatever I wanted without gaining weight. Now I pick up a fork and gain seven pounds.

I enjoy driving because it combines my desire to sit with my talent for being angry.

If caterpillars are able to sleep for a long time and come out prettier, why cant I?

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

For your own sanity, move on like you never knew them, because in reality, you never did.

The first time I saw a kiwi I thought it’s a potato with fur.

My talents include sneaking out of work early on a Friday.

Never underestimate my ability to fall asleep in a moving vehicle.

I don’t understand why my husband has to pay for a UFC fight when he could just throw one piece of candy on the floor in front of our kids.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

When you split a dessert, the waiter should bring two forks and one of those chess clocks you smack to let the other person know it’s their turn.

In these difficult times, it’s important to remember that cheese exists.

It’s actually crazy we figured out how to grow real diamonds that are cheaper and better quality than the real thing, and so many people are still like, no thanks, the suffering is what makes it special.

Prior to the arrival of Paper and Scissors, Rock faced no competition.

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Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

I am under no obligation to make sense to you.

Being informed is the worst thing I’ve ever done for my mental health.

Nothing tops a plain pizza.

Becoming a psychic for the foreseeable future.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Hardly a day goes by without me being reminded that an academic degree has nothing to do with intelligence.

I love saying “exactly” to stuff that doesn’t make sense.

Don’t you hate it when you buy veggies and when you get them home you realize they’re donuts?

Sometimes you just gotta say LOL and move on.

I used to have this mental illness, where I thought logical arguments would change someone’s mind.

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Eight times a day, I ask myself which object in the office will hurt me enough so that I can go home, but at the same time won’t hurt too much.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

I have this rare skin disease called perfect.

I think social media is marvellous. You type your thoughts into it, and then insane people let you know if they like them or not.

Being a goldfish must be brilliant. Every six seconds you’re pleasantly surprised to find that you live in a castle.

I used to be able to eat whatever I wanted without gaining weight. Now I pick up a fork and gain seven pounds.

I enjoy driving because it combines my desire to sit with my talent for being angry.

If caterpillars are able to sleep for a long time and come out prettier, why cant I?

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