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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇶🇦 has downloaded:

Sports bars exist. There should be bars for monitoring the situation.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has bookmarked:

Airport beer at 6 a.m.? No problem. The airport is a lawless place that is free from judgment.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has viewed:

Nothing more rude than taking a photo of yourself and it looking like how you actually look, and not how you look inside your head.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has shared:

I see WWIII is about to kick off again. I’d best cancel the milk and get the cat in.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has shared:

The main reason I got divorced was cause I got married.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has viewed:

Controlling your anger at work is a job in itself.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has downloaded:

I don’t flirt, I just say weird things and hope something sticks.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

494 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,087

Funny Quotes Topics

17,241

Funny Quotes Images

15,087

Updated

Dec 19, 2025

Users Online

3,685

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via X:

The dragon with the girl tattoo.

Just shared via Pinterest:

Some of you are out here driving like your turn signal’s free trial ended and you’re all out of blinks.

Going bananas on Telegram:

Live, laugh, lie to the doctor about how many drinks you have per week.

Live now on Twitch:

I wish British people had subtitles so I knew what they are on about.

Just shared via WeChat:

Took the road less travelled after buying the sat nav less expensive.

Making waves on Reddit:

I don’t think humans were put on this earth to know what Salesforce is. It’s unnatural.

Going viral on X:

Whenever I’m sad, you’re there. Whenever I have problems, you’re there. Whenever I lose control, you’re there. Let’s face it, you are bad luck.

Even at my most evil, I’m considerate.

1 month ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Plotting world domination, but still sending thank-you notes. 📝😈 #EvilEtiquette"

considerate, even, evil, humor, most, personality, sarcasm

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

You can’t get a good night’s sleep anymore because of woke.

2 months ago

commentary, good, good night, humor, issues, modern, modern issues, night, sleep, societal, societal commentary, woke
Willem Dafoe gets to be in two different Nosferatu movies, whereas the average person doesn’t even get to be in one.

1 month ago

acting, average, average person, dafoe, different, even, film, film industry, industry, movie, Nosferatu, opportunity, person, uniqueness, willem, Willem Dafoe
Every time a Taco Bell rings, an angel gets diarrhea.

1 month ago

angel, bell, diarrhea, every, fast, fast food, food, gastrointestinal, humor, joke, rings, sarcasm, taco, Taco Bell, time
Democracy is a fine thing. The bad thing is that the stupid people are allowed to take part.

1 month ago

bad, democracy, fine, humor, irony, opinion, participation, people, politics, stupid, take, thing
So crazy to just be living every day through the slow-motion car crash of escalating fascism, and it’s still like, “Aww, man, I have to go to the dentist.”

2 months ago

car, car crash, crash, crazy, daily, daily life, day, dentist, every, fascism, frustration, humor, i, irony, just, life, living, man, motion, slow, slow motion, still, through
Jehovah’s Witnesses tell the worst knock knock jokes.

1 month ago

comedy, humor, jehovah’s, Jehovah’s Witness, jokes, knock, knock knock, religion, tell, witness, witnesses, worst

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇱 has downloaded:

Due to personal reasons, I’ll be turning you into a poem.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has downloaded:

When you see a squirrel, you’re bound to say, “Awww, a squirrel!”

Someone from 🇦🇩 has bookmarked:

I disagree with my politics.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has downloaded:

I wanna date one of those guys who really loves their girlfriend.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has copied:

Some people you look at or hear talking and think to yourself, the wheel may be turning, but the hamster is dead.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has viewed:

Who is praying on my downfall right now and can you stop?

Someone from 🇩🇿 has viewed:

The worst part about waking up is all the remembering.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Slack:

Drinking a couple of beers and then getting onto Red Dead Redemption, and just petting my horse and feeding it apples.

Going viral on Facebook:

Getting sent money you didn’t ask for is very sexy.

Seen just now on Threads:

I’m not being smart, I’m just a skilled trained professional in pointing out the obvious.

Trending via Reddit:

Whatever you ask the Universe for under this post, you will get next week.

Shared recently on Facebook:

Just a few more hours of scrolling, and then I will finally know.

Spotted on Telegram:

People who take care of chickens are literally chicken tenders.

Spotted on WeChat:

I don’t want to party like it’s 1999, I want to go grocery shopping like it is.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Even at my most evil, I’m considerate.

You can’t get a good night’s sleep anymore because of woke.

Willem Dafoe gets to be in two different Nosferatu movies, whereas the average person doesn’t even get to be in one.

Every time a Taco Bell rings, an angel gets diarrhea.

Democracy is a fine thing. The bad thing is that the stupid people are allowed to take part.

So crazy to just be living every day through the slow-motion car crash of escalating fascism, and it’s still like, “Aww, man, I have to go to the dentist.”

Jehovah’s Witnesses tell the worst knock knock jokes.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Dating over 40 is like Hide and Seek but no one is looking for you.

How do I get one of those fake corporate jobs where I work remotely, get paid for responding to one email a day, and have a laptop on with Outlook or whatever open?

I’ve already sent Santa a short letter this week to say hello. Not that he thinks I only get in touch if I want something.

I have more photos of food on my phone than I do of my children.

There’s something meditative about cleaning. It’s the perfect time to reflect and plan revenge on every single person who has ever wronged you.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

It’s so funny how you can meet someone randomly online, and they become such an important part of your life. It’d be nicer if they lived closer, though.

And to my children, I leave 127 open tabs on Safari.

Have you ever been sitting around overthinking about overthinking, and then wonder why you’re even thinking that?

People who accuse me of delusions of grandeur, obviously don’t worship me enough.

At this point, I’m rooting for the aliens.

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

I should have been a Librarian, my favorite thing to do is telling people to shut up.

I hate it when my pillow is not pillowing like it should. You have one job. Be a pillow man. You are pillow. Act like one!

When I look at the world, I realize why Noah only took animals with him.

I love when someone is telling a story and you can tell even from their version that they’re the villain.

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: you either have a naked window neighbor or you are the naked window neighbor.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Limbo is the only sport where being really bad at it means you’re raising the bar.

Іf you’re sad about being alone on Valentine’s Day, just remember that nobody loves you on any other day of the year either.

People tell me to just be myself like that would be a good thing.

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Even at my most evil, I’m considerate.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

You can’t get a good night’s sleep anymore because of woke.

Willem Dafoe gets to be in two different Nosferatu movies, whereas the average person doesn’t even get to be in one.

Every time a Taco Bell rings, an angel gets diarrhea.

Democracy is a fine thing. The bad thing is that the stupid people are allowed to take part.

So crazy to just be living every day through the slow-motion car crash of escalating fascism, and it’s still like, “Aww, man, I have to go to the dentist.”

Jehovah’s Witnesses tell the worst knock knock jokes.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

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