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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇿 has downloaded:

I want to run through your dreams and settle in your nightmares.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has copied:

Rule number 1 at a concert: Don’t sing while filming!

Someone from 🇲🇬 has bookmarked:

Oh no, we don’t go in there. That room belongs to the spiders.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has downloaded:

Stop telling people to grow up. Have you seen adults?

Someone from 🇲🇬 has viewed:

Sometimes you have to sit back and imagine what life could be if it wasn’t a horrifying nightmare.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has shared:

I can’t watch Sex and the City anymore, because I get really upset at how much money these ladies have.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has bookmarked:

My family passed down mood swings and anxiety instead of money or houses.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has shared:

The first step is admitting that the other person is the one with the problem.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has downloaded:

I can’t go to war, I have to water my plants.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has shared:

The best part of vacation with your extended family is talking shit about them on the trip home.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,364

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via YouTube:

I listen to a lot of white noise, so I get really excited when it rains or someone turns on a fan. It’s like seeing my favorite band live.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

It’s important to get out of the house every once in a while to get excited about going home.

Shared recently on Discord:

Losing a white tee to a stain is a different kind of grief.

Live now on Snapchat:

I think some of you are faking your sarcasms.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

I’m not drunk enough for this Teams meeting.

Making waves on Messenger:

My Mom asks why everything is on the floor, like she never heard of gravity.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Having a pool is so neat. All of your friends are suddenly interested to catch up on the hottest days of the year.

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

Me: Please let me sleep! Brain: Nope, we have to stay up together and go over every bad life decision we have made so far.

Live now on Facebook:

My phone is on Do Not Disturb because I am disturbed enough as it is.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

I hurt my bottom after shaking it at the office party. It was a twerk-place injury.

Even at my most evil, I’m considerate.

3 weeks ago

Playful quote about mischievous kindness, highlighting humor and wit in a clever way.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Plotting world domination, but still sending thank-you notes. 📝😈 #EvilEtiquette"

considerate, even, evil, humor, most, personality, sarcasm

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Social Media Stars ⭐

92 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I used to have this mental illness, where I thought logical arguments would change someone’s mind.

11 shares on Facebook this month:

The inner child in me is open-mouth coughing on the inner child in you.

42 shares on Messenger this month:

My washing machine is over here taking load after load, like Bonnie Blue.

11 shares on Threads this month:

We’re putting that movie you love back in theaters on one random Wednesday — and we’re not gonna tell you until Tuesday.

31 shares on TikTok this month:

How is this the same brain that used to remember everybody’s phone numbers?

35 shares on LinkedIn this month:

My mom be cutting up fruit and bringing it to me in my room without saying nothing. That’s when it hits me, nobody ever gonna love me this much.

76 shares on Threads this month:

Surround yourself with people who google the menu of the restaurant beforehand.

47 shares on Snapchat this month:

Everyone has that one friend they’ve known for years and still have no idea what they actually do for a living, but it’s too late to ask.

23 shares on Slack this month:

We need a slur for people who use ChatGPT.

51 shares on YouTube this month:

I hate when people are outside when I’m trying to parallel park. I need some privacy.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇮 has viewed:

Life is just resetting your password until you die.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has bookmarked:

So tired of looking in my wallet and not finding $10,000

Someone from 🇪🇨 has downloaded:

Pets can’t talk but everyone loves them. This is not a coincidence.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has shared:

That awkward moment when someone gets angry at you for clicking a pen, but you have to click it one more time to use it.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has shared:

Later is the best time to do anything.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has shared:

I used to mix Mountain Dew with the cheapest vodka I could find, and I called it the Blood of Mannaroth because it’s green and turns you into an orc.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has shared:

Spongebob never let anyone dull his whimsical spirit.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has bookmarked:

I always like to remember the time before the internet. It was so good not to know how cruel and stupid humanity really is.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has viewed:

If I was a fish, I’d be smoking all the seaweed.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has viewed:

I just be minding my business, and next thing you know, a payment is due.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Snapchat:

Just gave my boyfriend an incorrect direction in the car, and he sighed and muttered to himself, “Never assign to malice what can be attributed to incompetence.”

Broadcasted on TikTok:

I’m not a fan of camping, if I wanted to sleep outside I wouldn’t pay my mortgage.

Just landed via Facebook:

Girls only want one thing, and it’s to be photographed candidly on 35mm film.

Spotted on Slack:

Not gonna lie, I just assume everyone is AI now.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

It’s like 10,000 steps when all you need is a nap.

Going viral on Slack:

Yesterday, thieves broke into my home. They searched everywhere and found nothing. They beat me up, telling me to work harder.

Spotted on Telegram:

You should never forget where you came from. That’s probably where your keys are.

Going bananas on Slack:

If my coworker doesn’t stop asking questions on this Zoom meeting, I will drive across town and slap his face on the call.

Trending via Facebook:

Even worse than the buzzing of the mosquitoes is the moment when it suddenly stops.

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

Аbsolutely crazy to thіnk that Leonardo DіCaprіo’s future gіrlfrіend іs currently nervous for her fіrst day of kіndergarten.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Even at my most evil, I’m considerate.

I end all my sentences with “Just saying..” because ending them with “You bonehead..” would probably be considered offensive.

I made a clone of myself to do the dishes, another to do the laundry, and another to do the cooking, but we’re all sitting on the couch watching TV.

Hi, I’m making some changes in my life. If you don’t hear from me, you are one of them.

Feeling morally and spiritually adrift without a Sunday HBO show.

I don’t always whoop, but when I do, there it is.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

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Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Even at my most evil, I’m considerate.

Keep the laugh going 😂

When someone asks me why I’m leaving the party early, I say “I’m late for an appointment with my pajamas.”

I end all my sentences with “Just saying..” because ending them with “You bonehead..” would probably be considered offensive.

I made a clone of myself to do the dishes, another to do the laundry, and another to do the cooking, but we’re all sitting on the couch watching TV.

Hi, I’m making some changes in my life. If you don’t hear from me, you are one of them.

Feeling morally and spiritually adrift without a Sunday HBO show.

I don’t always whoop, but when I do, there it is.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨