Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇷 has copied:

9am: anything is possible. 2pm: maybe tomorrow.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has viewed:

I’m sorry, but I already have an A.I. boyfriend.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has bookmarked:

Jesus invited prostitutes to dinner and was praised for compassion. I do it, and suddenly I ‘made Christmas awkward.’

Someone from 🇹🇩 has viewed:

Laziness is the art to rest before one gets tired.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has downloaded:

I can’t believe we became the adults in the most unaffordable period in history.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has copied:

I feel a deep connection to librarians because I also love telling people to shut up.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has copied:

If you want to be sure that you never forget your wife’s birthday, just try forgetting it once.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has downloaded:

It infuriates me that computer Scrabble doesn’t get mad when I win even though I’m livid when it wins.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has viewed:

Shopping is the only exercise I need.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has viewed:

How was the word “Wife” invented? They took the first two and last two letters of wildlife.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,542

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

I wonder what John Connor thinks now that everyone is embracing AI.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Don’t mispronounce anything next to me and think I didn’t hear it.

Shared recently on Twitch:

I just turned on my car’s seat warmer to keep my burrito warm in case you wondered what I was up to.

Going viral on Telegram:

I don’t assume anything except the fetal position.

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

My favorite machine at the gym is the one where you put change in, and snacks come out.

Seen just now on X:

If people continue to behave so badly, I will donate my organs to an animal shelter.

Making waves on Telegram:

Real lovers are currently single, by the way.

Going bananas on Reddit:

Being annoying is the most beautiful thing a woman could be.

Live now on Slack:

Here’s what I’ve learned since I’ve been on social media: I’m not nearly as disturbed as I thought I was.

Trending via Twitch:

Hey man, be careful on the trampoline, one of my buddies never came back down.

Everything is a sign from God if you’re schizophrenic enough.

3 hours ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Well, if my morning coffee spills, is it divine intervention telling me to clean up my act? 🤔☕️🧹

enough, everything, God, health, humor, mental, mental health, schizophrenia, schizophrenic, sign

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

What’s a polite way to tell someone you hope they get mauled by a bear?

0

2 months ago

bear, dark, dark humor, hope, humor, mauled, polite, polite way, sarcasm, someone, tell
First date idea: you rescue me out of the tree I got stuck in while looking through your windows.

0

2 months ago

awkward, awkward situation, date, first date, funny idea, humor, i, idea, looking, me, rescue, situation, stuck, tree, window, Windows
The bad news is there was a lot of turbulence on my flight this morning. The good news is my phone counted it as steps.

0

2 months ago

bad, bad news, exercise, flight, good, good news, humor, morning, news, phone, steps, travel, turbulence
I don’t know much, but I do know melancholia is a way cooler diagnosis than depression.

0

2 months ago

cooler, depression, diagnosis, health, humor, i, know, melancholia, mental, mental health, much
Got my mind on my money and my money is nowhere to be found.

0

2 months ago

finance, found, humor, mind, money, nowhere, struggle
Showers are the best places to lose arguments with yourself.

0

2 months ago

arguments, best, humor, introspection, lose, personal, personal reflection, places, reflection, self, showers, solitude, yourself

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

36 shares on Snapchat this month:

“I’m gonna decide everyone’s pronouns and sexuality tonight. And, yes, there will be some big surprises.”

59 shares on Reddit this month:

Just found out about confirmation bias, and now every article I read totally proves I was right to be worried about it.

11 shares on YouTube this month:

I have lived way too many lives for people to think they know everything about me.

14 shares on Reddit this month:

Eating Halloween candy and putting up my Christmas tree because nothing matters anymore.

55 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Nonchalant men are not for me. I want mine to have a panic attack if we’re not talking.

73 shares on Discord this month:

Relationship status: I’m the only one wearing my hoodies.

25 shares on Messenger this month:

Don’t ever get excited if your kid likes a new food. They won’t like it tomorrow.

42 shares on WhatsApp this month:

A dating app for people who suck at flirting called Fumble.

56 shares on Telegram this month:

“You have reached your monthly article limit,” – a website you’ve never accessed before today.

86 shares on Snapchat this month:

Only difference between me and someone in a psych ward is I’m outside.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇺 has downloaded:

My phone charger is lying in another room. HELP.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has viewed:

Picking up the hem of my baggy pants to walk up the stairs like it’s a ballgown.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has viewed:

I’m too tired to shower. Anyone want to wash my back?

Someone from 🇦🇷 has copied:

Went on a date with a guy who didn’t ask me any questions about myself, so it’s on him when he finds out about my husband.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has downloaded:

Don’t think my brain is braining properly today.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has downloaded:

Do you also watch porn until the end to see if they end up getting married?

Someone from 🇨🇿 has copied:

The mattress in the guest room was perfectly fine until I had to sleep on it once.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has viewed:

God doesn’t do nearly enough smiting anymore.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has downloaded:

Telling men I have a boyfriend doesn’t chase them away anymore, so I’ve started telling them I have a child.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has bookmarked:

I always need to pee, but it’s just because my heart is so big it pushes on my bladder.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on TikTok:

You’d think, with the amount of overthinking I do, I’d make the right decision.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

Money can’t buy happiness, until you’re on vacation and then you realize it definitely can.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

My grandad fought Germans on the beaches of Normandy. This was last summer and it was very embarrassing.

Trending via YouTube:

I’m always looking for new and exciting ways to give up.

Breaking via Instagram:

Some women seated next to me are gossiping in French. They obviously think I’m some dumb American who doesn’t speak French and they are correct.

Trending via YouTube:

My bank account is also in retrograde.

Just landed via YouTube:

Tried a smile yesterday and my white blood cells attacked it.

Breaking via LinkedIn:

If I’m giving you attention, feel blessed. My real passion is ignoring people.

Making waves on X:

My superpower is wasting time I don’t even have.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Romance level: At some point, someone comes by, sees me and thinks: “Oh well, my God, why not?”

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Everything is a sign from God if you’re schizophrenic enough.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

What’s a polite way to tell someone you hope they get mauled by a bear?

First date idea: you rescue me out of the tree I got stuck in while looking through your windows.

The bad news is there was a lot of turbulence on my flight this morning. The good news is my phone counted it as steps.

I don’t know much, but I do know melancholia is a way cooler diagnosis than depression.

Got my mind on my money and my money is nowhere to be found.

Showers are the best places to lose arguments with yourself.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨