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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇫🇯 has shared:

I stopped understanding math when the alphabet decided to get involved.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has shared:

Nobody victim blames more than my oldest son when he’s in trouble for punching his little brother.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has viewed:

Social media can teach you a lot of lessons. Grammar is not one of them.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has shared:

A wise man once said: “Yes, darling. You’re right.”

Someone from 🇺🇬 has viewed:

All I want is to live well and to die in a manner so bizarre and gruesome it can only be described with a German word.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has bookmarked:

I get all the cardio I need by running out of patience.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has bookmarked:

I’ve shouted so much sporting advice from my sofa already this summer. It’s very tiring but hopefully it’s helping.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has viewed:

Handyman to customer: If I had wanted you to watch me work, I would have become an actor.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has bookmarked:

89% of the time when my husband tells me I look great, what he really means is, “We needed to leave five minutes ago.”

Someone from 🇲🇹 has copied:

Good morning to everyone except people that talk to the cashier about their entire day.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,688

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Snapchat:

I get it dogs, I wish I could also bark at strangers approaching my house.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

My anti-theft device in my car is that it’s manual.

Shared recently on Messenger:

Saw a guy reading a book and writing notes in it. Not enough words in there for ya, bud?

Trending via Telegram:

There are some websites where my password management strategy is to just hit “Forgot my password” every time I need to log in.

Just shared via X:

My apologies to your congregation. I totally misunderstood when you asked for missionary volunteers.

Just shared via Pinterest:

Breaking news is really breaking me.

Just shared via Messenger:

Sometimes people come into your life — and they need to stop doing that.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

I admire the audacity of beavers, they just move to a new area and say “screw the neighbors, imma put a lake here”.

Seen just now on Twitch:

Can you lose weight by running away from your feelings?

Going viral on Twitch:

When I take a shower I’m: 5% cleaning myself, 10% singing, 85% making life changing decisions.

First you’re cringe, then you’re the blueprint.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
LOL, guess I'm just ahead of my time! 😎📈 #CringeToTrendsetter

blueprint, cringe, culture, evolution, humor, meme, meme culture, slang, social, social evolution, transformation

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Oh, gross. I didn’t know there was protein in this powder. I was only drinking it for the lead.

0

3 months ago

drink, drinking, gross, humor, i, joke, know, lead, misunderstanding, oh, only, powder, protein
I’m not actively avoiding you. I don’t actively do anything.

0

2 months ago

activity, apathy, avoidance, humor, i, interaction, laziness, procrastination, social, social interaction
It’s not true that I had nothing on. I had the radio on.

0

2 months ago

clothing, funny statement, humor, i, joke, nothing, radio, statement, wit
Silently hoping for a comet to strike, to get out of today’s responsibilities.

0

5 months ago

comet, escape, hope, hoping, humor, procrastination, responsibility
Before social media, you could just completely forget that somebody existed. Good times.

0

2 months ago

before, communication, existed, forget, good, good times, just, media, nostalgia, relationships, social, social media, somebody, times
Can’t. Typing a password into a TV.

0

2 months ago

everyday, everyday life, frustration, humor, life, password, technology, TV, typing

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

73 shares on X this month:

The difference between the kids table and the adults table during holiday dinners is that there is much more screaming, crying, and arguing at the adults table.

83 shares on TikTok this month:

Getting road rage alone in my house.

64 shares on Instagram this month:

Thank you all for attending my final rose ceremony. There will be no roses.

32 shares on Facebook this month:

The 80s were wild, man. You had bands naming themselves after predatory cats with hearing problems.

69 shares on Discord this month:

Why is it cute when a baby falls asleep clutching a bottle. Yet, when I do it, it’s “concerning”?

32 shares on Messenger this month:

Sorry, I had feelings. I’ll replace them with jokes right away.

23 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Welcome to your 50’s. Your doctor and pharmacist are both in your contacts now.

17 shares on YouTube this month:

Having a low-quality camera will definitely force you to keep your life private.

30 shares on WhatsApp this month:

So many mistakes to make, so little time.

21 shares on Messenger this month:

My children are very helpful. For example, when I ask them to do something, they suggest a different child that could do it instead.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇯🇲 has shared:

I’m too lazy to be a superhero. If I had laser eyes, I’d probably just use them to heat soup or something.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has shared:

I made a smoothie that needs a spoon.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has copied:

I thought I had more straws. Sorry, turns out that was the last one.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has copied:

Therapy isn’t gonna cut it, I need vengeance.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has downloaded:

I’m just a girl looking for another snack.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has downloaded:

No revenge, but I hope you stutter every time you try to dirty talk with someone.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has downloaded:

The people who upload old movies to the internet are holding society together.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has copied:

Last night’s dream could have been an email.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has viewed:

My watch battery is fully charged. So I got some time.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has bookmarked:

Studies show that sleepwalking has decreased among Americans over the last 10 years. Typical lazy Americans.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via X:

Pressure washing is like regular washing but with a lot of yelling and tight deadlines.

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

I don’t even believe myself when I say I’ll be ready in 5 minutes.

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

If you’re the type of person who likes to be left alone, I’m with you. Better yet, I’m not with you.

Making waves on WeChat:

I should go to jail so I can focus on the gym.

Spotted on Discord:

Taking the day off to brush up on conspiracy theories and really get this Thanksgiving party started.

Making waves on Messenger:

Having a low-quality camera will definitely force you to keep your life private.

Seen just now on Threads:

More candlelight, less gaslight, babe.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

I identify as a McDonald’s ice-cream machine because I go down when you really want me.

Spotted on TikTok:

I was born tired, and I will die tired. If I ever tell you I’m not tired, I’m probably lying.

Making waves on Reddit:

No one watches your story faster than someone who doesn’t talk to you.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

First you’re cringe, then you’re the blueprint.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Oh, gross. I didn’t know there was protein in this powder. I was only drinking it for the lead.

I’m not actively avoiding you. I don’t actively do anything.

It’s not true that I had nothing on. I had the radio on.

Silently hoping for a comet to strike, to get out of today’s responsibilities.

Before social media, you could just completely forget that somebody existed. Good times.

Can’t. Typing a password into a TV.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨