Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇹 has viewed:

Rent really don’t make no sense. Like, why is my apartment getting a raise every year? Who is doing the performance review?

Someone from 🇰🇪 has viewed:

That depressing moment when you start your car to go to work and it doesn’t explode.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has downloaded:

The most avoidant man you know is somewhere telling someone he’s a lover boy.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has downloaded:

I’m sorry I pretended I was dead when I saw you in public.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has viewed:

Imagine buying a new car, and some superhero throws it at an alien.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has copied:

Hey, so this Mercury retrograde is actually really demonic and soul-crippling. Let’s wrap this up by midnight.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has shared:

Getting money from the Tooth Fairy is a gateway drug to organ trafficking.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has shared:

I’m developing a new fragrance for introverts. It’s called: “Leave me the fuh cologne”.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has bookmarked:

All pants are tear away pants if you’re strong enough.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has shared:

I’ve been blocked by better.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

241 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,510

Funny Quotes Topics

17,577

Funny Quotes Images

15,510

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,339

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via TikTok:

Venn diagrams. You either love ‘em or you hate ‘em. Or you’re somewhere in the middle.

Going viral on Pinterest:

Telling her parents you creampie her daily is socially unacceptable. But telling them you’re trying for a baby is a cause for celebration.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

Welcome to your 40s. “I’m too old for this shit” is now your excuse and explanation for everything.

Trending via Facebook:

“AI is coming for your jobs!” I’d like to see AI take a 30-minute poop right after clocking in.

Spotted on Snapchat:

I don’t procrastinate, I delegate to my future self.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Aliens only abduct the people that are already nuts so no one will believe them when they try and tell everyone.

Spotted on X:

It’s a good thing Titanic is only a movie. A lot of people would’ve died.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

My goal was to look good in a bikini this summer, but the call of the barbecue is stronger.

Going bananas on Reddit:

Why a bug would spend such a long fraction of its short life immobile on my ceiling beats me.

Just landed via Discord:

My biggest motivation for getting out of bed in the morning is knowing that I’ll eventually be able to get back in it.

Friendship is when you don’t tidy up before visitors arrive.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Friendship is letting your messy side show, because true friends know the chaos behind the facade 😜🧼 #MessyButReal"

before, clean, friendship, honesty, humor, relationship, tidy, visitors

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Being famous on social media is like being rich in Monopoly. It’s not real, so calm down.

0

2 months ago

being, calm, calm down, fame, famous, humor, media, Monopoly, real, reality, rich, social, social media
I hate finishing a series that I enjoyed, because what now?

0

3 days ago

boredom, dilemma, enjoyment, entertainment, finishing, hate, i, series, sery
Prison pen pal doesn’t want us to write each other anymore. Finds my life too depressing.

0

1 month ago

communication, depressing, finds, friendship, humor, letter, life, pal, pen, pen pal, prison, too, us, want, writing
I drive regularly so that my brain doesn’t forget swear words.

0

2 months ago

brain, drive, forget, humor, i, swear, swear word, word, words
If only my teeth were as white as my legs.

0

2 months ago

beauty, body, body image, comparison, humor, image, leg, self-deprecation, teeth, white
Weirdos gonna weird.

0

2 months ago

humor, individuality, personality, quirkiness, uniqueness, weird, weirdo

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

86 shares on Snapchat this month:

Money does not buy happiness, but it’s better to cry in a sports car than on a bicycle.

62 shares on Discord this month:

Problematic bed time gap relationship.

34 shares on Twitch this month:

I don’t need therapy. I need everyone who’s ever wronged me to suddenly feel a chill and not know why.

33 shares on Discord this month:

Please hesitate to get in touch with me.

54 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Unemployed folks always have esoteric knowledge, for some reason.

14 shares on Snapchat this month:

Like a fine bourbon, we get better with age. Or, at least, … we feel better about our age after drinking lots of bourbon!

61 shares on YouTube this month:

I miss phone booths. We used to train our immune system in those things.

71 shares on TikTok this month:

Maybe the elephant doesn’t want to be addressed, and we should respect their boundaries.

74 shares on X this month:

I don’t hate you, I just don’t want to see you alive.

21 shares on YouTube this month:

I don’t need a New Year’s resolution, it’s the year’s turn to be better.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇷 has copied:

The way I forget stuff at my age, I just know it is over for me after 50.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has downloaded:

I’m best man at my buddy’s second wedding. Is it appropriate to open my dinner speech with “Welcome back everyone”?

Someone from 🇨🇲 has shared:

The husband, child, and dog are all snoring. WTF is this?

Someone from 🇲🇦 has downloaded:

My spirit animal is that one bird that knocks itself unconscious, flying into windows.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has viewed:

You’re my least favourite notification.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has viewed:

Fun fact: Malcolm X was not his birth name. He was originally Malcolm Twitter.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has viewed:

You think you’ve seen gold diggers, until you see a male friend group where only one of them made it.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has copied:

I’ve folded seven page corners of the book I’m reading. That’s 49 in dog ears.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has downloaded:

If my son ever came out as gay, I’d be so furious. Furious that he never gave me fashion advice.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has viewed:

Marriage is for life. But when that was first said, life was shorter.

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Discord:

To anybody who thinks being self-employed means you don’t have to work for a boss you hate, I have terrible news.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

Do you think I’ll read a book again at some point or will I continue to dumb myself down with 12 hours of screen time?

Making waves on Pinterest:

I am simply too intelligent to be happy.

Just landed via Pinterest:

I have some fart jokes I’ve been holding in.

Just landed via Threads:

Graduation advice: Stay cool. Don’t be a fool. Avoid being a tool.

Just landed via Facebook:

Stop wasting your money on beauty products. The secret to looking young is to wear a baseball cap with a propeller on it.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

They hooked up tubes and sensors, but the doctor still can’t figure out why my kisses are so sweet. They want to hold me overnight and “never let go.”

Live now on YouTube:

You can always gauge my mood by the type of animal videos I share: sweet puppy videos or a cat smacking the shit out of someone.

Trending via YouTube:

Cicadas are all like, “Y’all mind if I scream?”

Just shared via WeChat:

There aren’t any emojis that really express any meaningful sort of anguish.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Friendship is when you don’t tidy up before visitors arrive.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Being famous on social media is like being rich in Monopoly. It’s not real, so calm down.

I hate finishing a series that I enjoyed, because what now?

Prison pen pal doesn’t want us to write each other anymore. Finds my life too depressing.

I drive regularly so that my brain doesn’t forget swear words.

If only my teeth were as white as my legs.

Weirdos gonna weird.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨