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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇷 has bookmarked:

It’s so foggy outside. Y’all gotta stop vaping.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has bookmarked:

Turning in bad essays to professors you have a personal relationship with is the most humiliating thing ever.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has shared:

I heard you like bad boys. Well, I’m bad. At everything.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has copied:

The sole purpose of your child’s middle name… is so they know when they’re really in trouble.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has viewed:

You are why Superman costumes have warning labels telling you the costume won’t make you fly.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has bookmarked:

Went to the hairdresser today and now I look much younger. I’m thinking about going back tomorrow.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has downloaded:

The earlier you wake up, the more time you have to think about why you wish you were still asleep in bed.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has shared:

That Coldplay CEO guy was held more accountable than the president.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has shared:

Maybe the four horsemen of the apocalypse are Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, and TikTok.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has viewed:

It’s not sleeping alone if there are crumbs in your bed.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

237 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,506

Funny Quotes Topics

17,571

Funny Quotes Images

15,506

Updated

Jan 6, 2026

Users Online

3,305

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on X:

Kids: making things way more difficult when they don’t have to be, since the dawn of man.

Just landed via Messenger:

Car rides by yourself with loud music… they’re good for the soul.

Just landed via Reddit:

I will never sell out my integrity unless I am offered something for it.

Going viral on Instagram:

It’s comical when I lean back in my chair only to realize it’s a stool.

Just shared via Snapchat:

Straighten your back and drink some water, you dehydrated banana.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

If I’m ever in a coma, please put chapstick on my lips.

Spotted on Twitch:

Losing and then immediately gaining weight is my superpower.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

When you’re young, weekends are for fun. When you’re older, they’re for recovery.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

My boyfriend moved in with me straight from Hotel Mama. In a way, I’m now a single parent.

Just shared via Reddit:

Phew, I thought the weather was broken because there was this weird yellow thing in the sky. But all’s well, it’s raining again.

Fun fact: the creator of Barbie and the creator of Hot Wheels were husband and wife.

4 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
So they had both dolls and horsepower in the family! Talk about a match made in toy heaven. 🚗👠💕

Barbie, couple, creator, fact, fun, fun fact, hot, Hot Wheel, husband, marriage, toy, trivia, wheel, wheels, wife

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Jennifer Lopez and Ben Affleck got engaged, broke up, married other people, had children, reunited, got married, broke up again, and I’ve been single that whole time.

0

2 months ago

affleck, again, ben, Ben Affleck, broke, broke up, children, engaged, humor, Jennifer, Jennifer Lopez, life, lopez, love, love life, married, people, relationship, reunited, single, time, whole
You are the wind beneath my overly sensitive, motion-activated floodlight.

0

2 months ago

affection, gift, humor, humor quote, light-hearted, metaphor, playful, romantic, sensitive, wind
Before you marry a person, you should first make them use a computer with slow internet to see who they really are.

0

2 months ago

computer, humor, internet, marry, patience, person, real, relationship, slow, slow internet, test
You don’t become cooler with age, but you do care progressively less about being cool, which is the only true way of being cool. This is called the Geezer’s Paradox.

0

1 month ago

age, aging, attitude, being, called, care, cool, cooler, geezer, humor, less, only, paradox, self-acceptance, true
Looking over both shoulders before googling “Chinese burger.”

0

4 days ago

before, both, burger, cautious, Chinese, Chinese burger, food, food search, Googling, humor, looking, looking over shoulder, over, search, shoulder, shoulders
Someone in their late 20s giving advice to someone in their early 20s is exactly like when a toddler is obsessed with a newborn.

0

2 months ago

20s, advice, early, early 20’s, exactly, gap, generational, generational gap, giving, humor, late, late 20s, life, life stage, newborn, obsession, someone, stage, toddler

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

91 shares on Facebook this month:

My playlist is so random, I be heartbroken, thugged out, and yeehaw all at the same time.

74 shares on WeChat this month:

I make her eyes roll back. Not in bed though. I’m just annoying.

32 shares on Twitch this month:

I’m thinking of maybe killing off a few characters in the book I’m writing. That will really spice up my autobiography.

88 shares on Discord this month:

I have never in my life learned from another person’s mistakes, I would literally let a giant wooden horse into my house right this second.

87 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Worst feeling in the world is when you are loyal to all your girlfriends but your favorite one is cheating on you.

11 shares on YouTube this month:

Life is basically avoiding people who have seen you naked, whilst trying to find new people to see you naked.

51 shares on YouTube this month:

If I’d married a wealthier man, I’d be lying on a fancier couch right now refusing to clean bigger rooms.

13 shares on X this month:

My motivation and me: It’s complicated.

34 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Waiting patiently for the alien invasion.

96 shares on YouTube this month:

Having a crush on someone is just having a lack of information on someone.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇺 has copied:

Ever since I was young, I knew I wanted to be online nonstop.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has shared:

My wife trusts me with a joint bank account but when I’m loading the dishwasher she always walks in the kitchen “to get something.”

Someone from 🇹🇱 has copied:

This flight is so long, I don’t know where I’m going anymore. I just live here now. Even the crying baby gave up.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has viewed:

Not to brag, but I don’t need alcohol to send texts I’ll regret.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has copied:

If life could stop teaching me lessons, that would be great.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has downloaded:

I didn’t ghost you, I saved you from me.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has viewed:

I don’t want kids, but I do want grandkids. Hoping science finds a way.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has copied:

Meeting Beyoncé and telling her I loved her in Goldmember and mentioning nothing about her music career, just to see if it throws her off.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has viewed:

Just so you know, what you now call an energy bar is what my father gave the canary.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has viewed:

“Dairy Queen” is actually the perfect drag name.

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on X:

Flirting with submissives is actually really easy. All you gotta do is send a gif of a small animal and say, ‘This is so you.’

Just landed via X:

“Unc” is short for “unclear.” It’s unclear what it means. “Uncle” is short for “unclear” as well.

Spotted on Pinterest:

No thanks, social media influencers. I prefer making decisions the old-fashioned way: under the influence of alcohol.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Forgetting your phone at home is the modern equivalent of leaving your sword behind in medieval times.

Going bananas on Discord:

I get it cicadas, I’m ready to scream for six weeks too.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

The days will soon be shorter again. Then it won’t rain for so long.

Just shared via Twitch:

As you get older, it’s amazing how fast bird-watching creeps up on you…

Live now on LinkedIn:

Being bilingual means stuttering in both languages.

Going bananas on Facebook:

Sorry for acting weird, I am weird, and it will happen again.

Just landed via YouTube:

Keep smiling, it makes people wonder what you’re up to.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Fun fact: the creator of Barbie and the creator of Hot Wheels were husband and wife.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Jennifer Lopez and Ben Affleck got engaged, broke up, married other people, had children, reunited, got married, broke up again, and I’ve been single that whole time.

You are the wind beneath my overly sensitive, motion-activated floodlight.

Before you marry a person, you should first make them use a computer with slow internet to see who they really are.

You don’t become cooler with age, but you do care progressively less about being cool, which is the only true way of being cool. This is called the Geezer’s Paradox.

Looking over both shoulders before googling “Chinese burger.”

Someone in their late 20s giving advice to someone in their early 20s is exactly like when a toddler is obsessed with a newborn.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨