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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇮 has copied:

Irregardless, for all intensive purposes, I could care less.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has shared:

Airports are the perfect place to see people who are experiencing their first day on Earth.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has viewed:

Sorry I was late, I was waiting for my CVS receipt to finish printing.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has bookmarked:

What makes us human is selecting all images with traffic lights.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has copied:

In my defense, I was left alone unsupervised.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has copied:

If McDonald’s sold hot dogs, would you be able to, with a straight face, order a McWiener and tell them to supersize it?

Someone from 🇳🇪 has bookmarked:

My outdoor flowers are doing amazing this year because I left them at the garden center where they belong.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has shared:

My future husband is very lucky; he will never stay hungry, because I know so many restaurants with delicious food.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has shared:

Some people’s high horses are actually donkeys.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has copied:

Mr. Mixed Signals decided he likes me today.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 19, 2026

Users Online

3,597

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Discord:

I came, I saw, I took a selfie as proof that I came and saw.

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

Eating Halloween candy and putting up my Christmas tree because nothing matters anymore.

Just landed via Twitch:

Ever since I was a little girl I knew I wanted to leave work early.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Why is the Formula 1 so afraid of rain? Just drive with more caution. That’s what I always do when it rains.

Making waves on Instagram:

Nothing hits harder than opening the fridge for the fifth time, hoping new food magically appeared.

Making waves on Discord:

You should be able to donate somebody else’s body to science.

Breaking via WhatsApp:

I will never understand why our washing machines feel the need to lie about how much time is left. If you need more time, just let me know, that’s fine.

Seen just now on Discord:

If you think about it, Santa really has the best job, he works one day a year and spends the rest of his time judging people.

Going viral on TikTok:

Arguing through text will have you standing in one spot for 40 mins.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Tattoo idea for men: spider webs in the corners of the receding hairline.

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Social Media Stars ⭐

34 shares on Pinterest this month:

Why are fish the only thing you can monger? Let me monger some other stuff.

63 shares on Instagram this month:

Before I started my own business, I would suffer from anxiety on Sunday nights. But now that I run my own business, I have anxiety every night.

85 shares on Reddit this month:

“It is what it is,” I say, not really knowing what it actually is.

16 shares on Slack this month:

Sex is fine, but have you ever completed every single thing on your to-do list?

13 shares on Pinterest this month:

I’m not making any resolutions. I think it’s time for the years to be better, not me.

93 shares on Facebook this month:

Getting real tired of my own bullshit.

100 shares on Pinterest this month:

“I’m at a point in my life where my favorite thing to do is nothing.”

46 shares on TikTok this month:

I think you’re like the cat’s meow, annoying yet sweet.

46 shares on X this month:

Are we all getting a front-row seat to the end times, or what?

17 shares on YouTube this month:

Spiders have the whole world to explore but still try to come up in my house.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

10 folks are currently checking 👀

No, thanks—social drama. Puberty sucked enough the first time around.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Halloween candy isn’t bad for you if you keep it in a salad bowl.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

If you collect the crumbs from one Nature Valley granola bar, you can make three more granola bars.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Cynics are – beneath it all – only idealists with awkwardly high standards.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

No one trashes your name better than the person who is terrified that you are going to tell people the truth.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Lady just asked me what “mansplaining” is. I think it’s a trap. We’ve been staring at each other in silence for half an hour.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t have a favourite person, but I do have a favourite cheese.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t understand why bugs come inside when they have a whole outside to themselves.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Toddlers are like puppies, they don’t care if they’re dirty and smelly and they both have an affinity exploring the trash bin.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

*Googles: How to fake your own death and erase existence before 9am Monday morning.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 19, 2026

Users Online

3,441

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇬 has bookmarked:

I just be minding my business, and next thing you know, a payment is due.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has viewed:

Even in my early 20’s, I was diagnosed with late stage 40’s.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has downloaded:

You think you’ve seen gold diggers, until you see a male friend group where only one of them made it.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has copied:

People would be more motivated to lose weight if the weight they lost went on to someone they didn’t like.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has viewed:

I have poor night vision so I upgraded to LED headlights because it’s important to me to ensure nobody else can see either.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has viewed:

Restaurant toilets are dangerous! So many of my dates have gone to use them and vanished.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has viewed:

I think every app should, by law, let you deactivate all of its short-form video content.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has copied:

Never vacuuming so I don’t disrupt my carpet’s natural micro biome.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has copied:

You don’t use a semicolons correctly; you use a semicolon confidently.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has copied:

Dying and being reincarnated as a beetle, and crawling to my old body’s grave, and digging down and living in my old ribcage.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on WeChat:

Don’t even bother contacting me on the Ouija Board after I die. I barely answer my texts now.

Just landed via TikTok:

I don’t understand my wardrobe. It’s full, but I don’t have clothes.

Live now on Twitch:

I will never understand people’s fascination with their ancestry, isn’t knowing your current family bad enough.

Live now on Instagram:

I’ve just turned off the news and put on a serial killer documentary to relax.

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

I will charge a 25% tariff on my steely gaze.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

So, you’re telling me I’m just supposed to get up every day and keep living like this? Seems like a scam to me.

Just shared via Twitch:

I sent you a message telepathically and you didn’t respond. Are you mad at me?

Freshly posted on X:

Show me another rule so I can break that one too.

Trending via Reddit:

My reality check bounced, guess I’ll have to stay insane for the time being.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Them: You post a lot. What am I supposed to do here – fold laundry on the timeline?

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