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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇧 has shared:

I’m not drinking 2% milk until we figure out what the other 98% is.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has downloaded:

Saw a shooting star and made a wish for everyone to stop talking to me.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has viewed:

Still can’t believe we have a federal holiday to celebrate the 1996 hit movie Independence Day.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has viewed:

Sorry for having no idea what the hell I am doing. It will happen again.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has shared:

Gwyneth Paltrow, I received the message you sent me last night in my dream and will proceed with the plan.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has bookmarked:

Lou Read is the name of my favorite musician and also the book I keep in the toilet.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has downloaded:

Thinking of starting a true crime podcast. Gotta explain this search history somehow.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has copied:

I’m a red flag, but the material is quality.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has viewed:

Every time I think I’m cooked, God moves mountains for me. That’s so nice of Him.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has viewed:

“This too shall pass!” Okay, but like, when exactly?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

241 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,510

Funny Quotes Topics

17,577

Funny Quotes Images

15,510

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,727

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Threads:

This summer I’m going cicada mode: emerging briefly from my house and being really loud until I find a mate.

Just shared via Facebook:

Trust me; this is the second millennium I’ve lived in.

Shared recently on Discord:

The difference between the Olympic village and a normal village is that not everyone in the Olympic village is related to each other.

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

The best part about having a crush is when they crush all your hopes and dreams.

Freshly posted on Threads:

Cashews are my favorite because they’re salty and hunched over just like me.

Breaking via Threads:

I’m actually breaking generational curses by surviving my 20s without marrying a man who hates me.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

What part of “hiii” do you not get? I’m in love with you.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

You are why Superman costumes have warning labels telling you the costume won’t make you fly.

Making waves on Messenger:

Acting jealous while secretly cheating is a pure talent of witchcraft.

Making waves on WeChat:

No kids at my wedding. Gonna Uber the flower girl home when she’s done.

Funny above quotes

New funny above quotes 👇

Pilot is one of the few jobs where you can get fired for going above and beyond.

0

2 months ago

above, aviation, beyond, fired, firing, going, going above and beyond, humor, job, jobs, pilot, profession, where, workplace

Someone from 🇳🇱 has recently copied this quote.

54 shares on WhatsApp this month.

All funny above quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

17 shares on Twitch this month:

Putting mental health before my education is a good idea until it affects my education, which affects my mental health, which affects my education.

74 shares on Threads this month:

Tensing up so the masseuse doesn’t win.

58 shares on Discord this month:

People who sound like fonts: Ariana Grande. Roman Roy. Jim Courier. Lydia West. Bon Iver. Suella Braverman. Jesse Ventura.

51 shares on WeChat this month:

Diet Coke is just a fridge cigarette.

32 shares on Twitch this month:

I know that we aren’t supposed to self diagnose but I’ve googled all of my symptoms and I’m fairly sure I’m a raccoon.

22 shares on Messenger this month:

I don’t understand people who do things on weekends. You just did things all week. What’s next, more things? That’s how they get you.

21 shares on Discord this month:

Tonight, my poor liver has to pay again for what went wrong during the week.

95 shares on Messenger this month:

Just a reminder that with Die Hard, Robin Hood and Love Actually, ‘Alan Rickman ruins Christmas’ is a whole movie subgenre.

81 shares on Snapchat this month:

Grocery stores should have baskets in the middle of the store for those “I really overestimated how much I can carry” moments.

13 shares on Snapchat this month:

I can’t explain how it works, but one day, you just wake up and like sauerkraut.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇷 has downloaded:

I started at the bottom, and it’s been downhill ever since.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has copied:

HR has told me to stop saying ‘How stupid can you be?’ to members of staff. They’re worried it’s being taken as a challenge.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has viewed:

Roses are red, my name is not Dave, this makes no sense, microwave.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has shared:

I don’t understand how I can remember every word of a song from 1984, but I can’t remember why I walked into the kitchen.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has downloaded:

A toddler can do more in one unsupervised minute than most people can do all day.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has viewed:

Meds have done more for me than any man ever could.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has bookmarked:

The way that we’re constantly told not to eat silica gel makes me suspect that it contains all the world’s forbidden knowledge.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has viewed:

If I buy the circus, the monkey will be the manager.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has bookmarked:

They portray Pilates like it’s this cute girly thing and it’s actually training for combat.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has shared:

Who develops the algorithm? I want to speak to the manager.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Slack:

If you want your kid to play with their toy just give it to your other kid. Follow me for more parenting hacks.

Going viral on Threads:

Should we all just give up and get really into drugs? Wait, this is literally what happened in the 60s. That just clicked for me.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Can’t, I’m raging against the machine.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

I am cassette tape years old.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

First date idea: unlock and switch phones with the other person for exactly two minutes and if no one is horrified then the date continues.

Going viral on Messenger:

If your family starts fighting on Thanksgiving, go live.

Just shared via X:

I took a pole and found that 100% of people in the tent were angry.

Just landed via Reddit:

Be the reason why your local woods are haunted.

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

My Mom say that everyone has a beautiful side, so I guess I’m a circle.

Making waves on X:

I found out my wife was cheating on me at a Red Hot Chili Peppers concert, and I don’t ever wanna feel like I did that day.

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Activity Log ✨

Funny above quotes

New funny above quotes 👇

Pilot is one of the few jobs where you can get fired for going above and beyond.

All funny above quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨