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It's amazing how well you can behave when your bank account can't afford to cover bail.
335 Funny advice quotes
My advice to anyone with a job: be the last one in, the first one out, and do as little as possible while getting maximum pay.
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Mastering the art of working hard or hardly working! 🚪🏃♂️💸
Sometimes, when you go with the flow you end up drowning with everyone else.
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Going with the flow seemed so chill until I realized I forgot my floaties! 🌊😂🛟
Many of you need to put “lighten up” on your resolutions list.
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New Year’s resolution: Add helium to your to-do list! 🎈😄
Someone at work is gonna suggest you download Outlook and Teams on your phone, and it’s very important that you don’t listen to them.
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Trying to keep my work-life balance intact, so my phone only accepts dog pictures and pizza delivery apps 📱🐶🍕!
Asking doctors about nutrition is like asking software engineers about printers, they really have no idea.
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Trying to get a printer to work is like trying to teach a cat to fetch—you're just setting yourself up for a lot of confusion and maybe a little chaos! 😂🖨️🐱
The worst person you know is in therapy right now, being told they need to put themselves first.
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Guess they're finally learning how to make themselves Priority No. 1 on their own list of Most Annoying People! 😆🛋️💆♂️
In your 20s, you’ll meet a short man. It’s very important you jump over him.
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Leap into your 30s with style—short men make great hurdles! 🏃♀️🤣🏆
Do men know they don’t have to date if they’re not over their ex?
Commentary:
Sounds like some men need to uninstall their "ex" from their operating system before downloading a new relationship 😂🤦♂️💔
If you’re having a good day today, don’t play Wordle.
Commentary:
😂🧩 Wordle: where your vocabulary goes to get humbled! 📉