Commentary:
Spice it up or it never happened! 😜💥🕵️♀️
335 Funny advice quotes
After hearing that I have too many books and too many bookshelves, I’ve decided to cut back on the amount of people I listen to.
Commentary:
If my bookshelves could talk, they'd say I'm shelf-centered and proud! 📚🤣🔇
It’s our first time on Earth, so why are you a life coach?
Commentary:
Trying to get life advice from someone who's just as lost as the rest of us is like getting GPS directions from a raccoon! 🦝🗺️
People say, “Listen to your heart, do the right thing,” like they are the same things.
Commentary:
When my heart wants tacos but my brain says salad, it’s a real ethical dilemma 🌮🧠🥗
If I were to “picture everybody in the room naked,” I would be stunned and in awe of the beauty and diversity of the human form before me. But thanks for the advice.
Commentary:
Wow, I've never been to an art gallery and a conference at the same time! 🎨🤭✨
There’ll be a time someone will convince you to watch Game of Thrones. It is very important that you listen to them and watch.
Commentary:
When you're trying to ignore chores but someone says Game of Thrones is more important… guess I'm officially part of the Night's Watch now! 🏰🐉🍿
When you are in your 20s, there is going to be an urge to binge The Sopranos. it is very important that you press play.
Commentary:
In your 20s, the real family drama is deciding whether it's Tony Soprano or laundry day that gets your attention first 📺🧺 #Priorities
A guy waited exactly 3 days to text me. Someone’s been studying the ancient scrolls of 1980s dating advice.
Commentary:
Looks like he's mastering the lost art of waiting! Next, he'll be sending messages by pigeon 🕊️📜😂
In your twenties, there may be love. It’s very important to ignore this love and pursue a master’s instead.
Commentary:
Clearly, the real love story is between your heart and a student loan 😂🎓💔📚
I highly recommend getting yourself a “How can I help” partner and not a “You will be fine” partner.
Commentary:
Sounds like a "How can I help" partner is the real MVP, while the "You'll be fine" partner is just there for moral support and snacks 😂🤷♂️🍕