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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇿 has viewed:

When I’m dying, please rush me to the nearest haunted house. I don’t want to haunt a shitty apartment by myself.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has copied:

I’m so bored, I’m gonna join a poly-relationship and stage a coup and kick the main one out.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has bookmarked:

Mercury is no longer in retrograde, so never trust a cow because the sun can’t swim.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has downloaded:

My girlfriend just had a go at me for not glistening, whatever that is.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has bookmarked:

The subtle art of letting yourself go crazy once in a while.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has downloaded:

Are you my pinky toe, because I will bang you on all my furniture.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has shared:

There are some websites where my password management strategy is to just hit “Forgot my password” every time I need to log in.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has bookmarked:

That urge to nap between 3pm – 5pm is no joke.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has copied:

Hired a financial advisor, and his first piece of advice was that I don’t make nearly enough money to justify paying a financial advisor.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has copied:

Sometimes, fasting from people is also important.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

[monthly_post_count]

Funny Quotes Total

14,550

Funny Quotes Topics

16,782

Funny Quotes Images

14,550

Nov 27, 2025

3,900

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Messenger:

Not right now. I’m manifesting.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Making her wear those remote-controlled vibrating panties in public so I can inform her when I’m tired and want to leave the party.

Breaking via Telegram:

“I can’t wait to go back to bed tonight!” Me, 5 minutes after waking up.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

I miss them days if you couldn’t rap, you didn’t.

Going bananas on Twitch:

Nobody will know you’re stoned if you’re always stoned.

Shared recently on Facebook:

Cafeteria is a beautiful name for a baby girl.

Going bananas on Telegram:

Can you turn your swag off for one second and listen?

Breaking via YouTube:

Blocking someone isn’t enough; I need their PornHub videos to always buffer, just as they’re about to climax.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

I think I’ll spend my savings on a lifetime supply of pasta. Worth every penne.

Making waves on Instagram:

This weekend was so busy, I hardly had time to sit around in my pajamas and doom scroll.

Home » Funny All Eyes Quotes

Funny all eyes quotes

New funny all eyes quotes 👇

3 weeks ago

Commentary:
🤵👀👰 The classic case of motherly mixed feelings — caught between being proud of your son and feeling slightly overlooked at the same time! Don't worry, Mom, you still hold a special place in his heart. Just remember, all eyes might be on the bride, but your son will always be your little boy! 💕 #MotherOfTheGroomDilemma

all eyes, awkward, awkward moment, bride, eyes, family, groom, humor, moment, son, wedding

All funny all eyes quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

[monthly_post_count]

Funny Quotes Total

14,550

Funny Quotes Topics

16,782

Funny Quotes Images

14,550

Nov 27, 2025

3,871

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇪 has viewed:

Nobody watches you harder than people who don’t like you, so give them a show they will never forget.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has shared:

The good news is that I’ve been finding new ways to waste my time.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has shared:

Just blocked a guy for accusing me of being “all talk”. On Twitter.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has bookmarked:

If I was an outlaw in the Wild West, my face would be on unwanted posters.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has shared:

Men invented arm wrestling so they could hold hands and look into each other’s eyes.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has downloaded:

I honestly have no idea what a vitamin is. It’s in a banana but it’s also the sun? Sure.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has downloaded:

I’d change my name to laundry if it meant you’d think about doing me every day.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has downloaded:

I’ll marry the person who can go to a family event with me and still like me afterward.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has copied:

This meeting could have been an unread email.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has copied:

Well, I’ve been depressed and poor, but sure, we’ll call it intermittent fasting.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Threads:

OK, just so everybody’s clear, I’m going to put my glasses on.

Trending via Messenger:

Me, to the printer: “Hey, could you print this out for me?” Printer: “Sure, but first I’ll show you all the sounds I can make.”

Just shared via YouTube:

I love dogs with human names because you get to say things like Bob pooped on the rug again.

Spotted on Instagram:

Relationship status: I love my bed.

Trending via Threads:

Just got sacked from my job at a think tank for thinking about donuts.

Just shared via Facebook:

I just tried to groom my dog myself, and I now fully understand why the dog groomer charges more for a haircut than my own stylist.

Live now on Threads:

My first thought upon waking up in the morning is “not again”.

Spotted on Twitch:

Sorry, I missed your call. I watched it ring and everything.

Going viral on Facebook:

I once let a really short guy be the big spoon and it felt like I went to bed with a backpack on.

Just shared via Facebook:

People in NYC are like, let me know if you’re ever in NYC.

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