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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇬 has copied:

I can usually cope with the opinions of others because I don’t listen.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has viewed:

If anything goes wrong today, just dramatically whisper, “The prophecy has been fulfilled,” and walk away.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has downloaded:

Started from the bottom and I’m still ain’t shit.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has shared:

Just had my biannual teeth cleaning like some barn animal.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has copied:

I’m like Pooh Bear. I just want to eat, hang with my homies, and go around pantsless.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has shared:

Ears are great for tucking your hair behind in the wind. Big shout out to ears.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has copied:

We are gathered here today because our ancestors didn’t have condoms.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has shared:

It takes guts to be an organ donor.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has copied:

Lois Lane said, “Clark?” like she didn’t just make out with that same jawline in spandex twelve hours ago.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has downloaded:

Kids are like pancakes. The first one is always a bit strange.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

1781 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

11,943

Funny Quotes Topics

14,751

Funny Quotes Images

11,943

Updated

1 minute ago

Users Online

3,434

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on YouTube:

Remember it’s Christmas. You need to check your elf before you wreck your shelf.

Spotted on Threads:

If they played poker with potato chips, I’d have a gambling problem.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

I don’t get how alcohol turns y’all evil. I just start giggling and get slutty.

Seen just now on Slack:

On the upside, my kids are helping with the dishes. On the downside, my kids are helping with the dishes.

Seen just now on Telegram:

I don’t understand people who say “I don’t know how to thank you.” Like they never heard of money.

Spotted on Reddit:

You know what goes great with helping your kid with math homework? Vodka!

Reported on Reddit:

It took me 5 minutes to do something I’ve been stressing about for 6 months. I will learn nothing from this.

Just shared via Facebook:

I don’t know why hair extensions are exclusive to women, I want to look like a centaur.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

You can’t change your past but you can change your pasta.

Going viral on Instagram:

Having teens is fun because they demand their independence but then turn right around and ask you for $20.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

1781 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

11,943

Funny Quotes Topics

14,751

Funny Quotes Images

11,943

Updated

1 minute ago

Users Online

3,438

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇯🇴 has shared:

The class: “You want us to do what?” Super Mario: “Jump around, catch and eat the giant mushroom, bang your head against the crates and, if necessary, crush all the critters. It’sa easy!”

Someone from 🇬🇹 has bookmarked:

You didn’t let me know you got home safely so you better at least be injured or I’m gonna be pissed.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has viewed:

When they make a Hate Island, somebody link me.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has copied:

Careful, “friend”. One more word about Shakira and you might find out just how fast I can draw this blade.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has bookmarked:

Umbrellas are great if you only want to get wet sideways.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has bookmarked:

Born to be a hater but forced to understand where you’re coming from.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has downloaded:

I’m a go with the flow kind of gal unless the flow is after 9pm or involves parallel parking.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has shared:

I made the mistake of clicking on an Instagram ad for a flannel shirt, and now the algorithm thinks I’m a lumberjack.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has bookmarked:

I love ketchup from my head to-ma-toes.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has copied:

“I’m going to try underthinking about a situation, and see if that works.”

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Instagram:

I can’t believe there was a time in my life when someone had to make me take a nap.

Going viral on Reddit:

Good morning, may your coffee be strong and your boss not weird today.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

People say that they want to be tall, but don’t realize how many times tall people are assaulted by spiderwebs.

Just landed via Discord:

Me drinking green tea: this is going to fix everything.

Trending via YouTube:

Are oranges called oranges because they are orange, or is the color orange called orange because an orange is orange?

Making waves on Twitch:

You could go camping or you could stay at home, not shower, leave dirt on the floor and let some squirrels in.

Trending via Threads:

Once you’ve read the dictionary, every other book you read is just a remix.

Trending via Telegram:

Ex’s be like “I gave you everything”. Yeah, trust issues.

Seen just now on TikTok:

A peaceful transition of power happening between me and this red wine just now.

Shared recently on Messenger:

Things can feel really overwhelming. Sometimes days or even weeks can get really hectic. Don’t forget that life is all about getting as much phone time as possible. Never lose sight of that.

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