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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇦 has downloaded:

I’m in a comfy dress today, but I look like a potato in floral. Call me Nelly Flortato.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has copied:

One thing I have noticed about getting older is having to stop for a short nap halfway through scrolling down to my year of birth when completing online forms.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has shared:

I watched a woman clean her whole house on YouTube today, in case you thought I lacked ambition.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has bookmarked:

Salad was likely invented after someone picked everything they didn’t like out of their meal and put it on a separate plate.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has copied:

My Saturday was going really well, until I realized it’s Sunday!

Someone from 🇸🇹 has shared:

But babe, that’s my emotional support Lord of the Rings Extended Edition.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has shared:

Anyone else’s phone make a retching noise when you unlock it with Face ID?

Someone from 🇸🇨 has bookmarked:

I drive regularly so that my brain doesn’t forget swear words.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has bookmarked:

Your secret is safe with me and my sister.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has downloaded:

I suspect that you don’t lose weight during sport because of the exercise, but because you can’t eat anything during this time.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

1830 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

11,992

Funny Quotes Topics

14,796

Funny Quotes Images

11,992

Updated

2 minutes ago

Users Online

3,456

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Slack:

Before you have kids, ask yourself: how patient am I with really stupid people?

Breaking via Reddit:

Got the zoomies at work, and now HR is chasing me around with a butterfly net.

Breaking via WeChat:

I don’t make mistakes, I date them.

Just landed via Reddit:

It should be illegal to take a nap and still have a headache when you wake up. Like, no, I shut it off and back on again. Why are you still here?

Going viral on WeChat:

I find as I get older it’s the little things that bring me joy. Like embarrassing my children.

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

If you drink enough, any bar can be a karaoke bar.

Live now on TikTok:

Shazam-ing a song in public feels the same as taking out a big hammer and bonking yourself on the head.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

The list of women who haven’t slept with me is really impressive.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

Twitter is the black sheep of the web, always in the corner, loudly arguing with itself.

Reported on YouTube:

Yawning is the body’s way of telling you it has only 15% battery remaining.

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Funny avoiding talk quotes

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

1830 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

11,992

Funny Quotes Topics

14,796

Funny Quotes Images

11,992

Updated

2 minutes ago

Users Online

3,455

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇯🇴 has shared:

How long past date can I eat eggs? Like are they still good or am I naming them now?

Someone from 🇿🇲 has downloaded:

My husband accidentally locked himself out of the house, and I didn’t hear him knocking until I finished eating the rest of his cheesecake. So weird.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has downloaded:

Why is bacon called bacon and cookies called cookies if you cook bacon and bake cookies?

Someone from 🇰🇬 has viewed:

Texas Chain Saw Massacre is full of plot holes. What happens to the victims when they die? Is there an afterlife?

Someone from 🇷🇺 has viewed:

Stop telling everyone I’m posting from earth. People don’t need to know where I live.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has bookmarked:

I should have been a Librarian, my favorite thing to do is telling people to shut up.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has shared:

Dancing alone in your home is its own kind of therapy.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has downloaded:

You think you’re cool and then you see a video of yourself running.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has shared:

Body by sandwich.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has downloaded:

Flex on your kids by asking “are we there yet?” before they do.

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Pinterest:

Rise and grind your teeth gently while ruminating over every past mistake.

Just shared via Twitch:

The most refreshing way to fight your personal demons is to make demonade.

Breaking via Twitch:

My dream DUI is driving a Saab through the Great British Bake Off tent.

Seen just now on Facebook:

Me: “I’m still young.” My bones: “No, we not.”

Live now on WhatsApp:

Women who don’t check a man’s phone will still use their intuition and dreams to find out if he’s cheating.

Spotted on WeChat:

You can always tell it’s Monday because nobody’s smiling.

Reported on Messenger:

My version of flirting is looking at someone I find attractive multiple times and hoping they’re braver than me.

Just landed via Messenger:

I deserve a dragon after all I’ve been through.

Seen just now on TikTok:

You should be able to donate somebody else’s body to science.

Seen just now on Instagram:

Your hoodie strings are uneven. Go home and get your shit together!

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