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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇬 has downloaded:

Coconut water taste like it’s been in someone else’s mouth.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has viewed:

Wife asked if I could stop singing Wonderwall. I said maybe…

Someone from 🇸🇾 has shared:

There’s something meditative about cleaning. It’s the perfect time to reflect and plan revenge on every single person who has ever wronged you.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has downloaded:

Standing on a scale and thinking: so much wisdom and inner beauty can’t be light.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has shared:

I’m so single. When they ask me for an emergency contact, I put the neighbor’s dog.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has viewed:

The worst part of a fender bender is having to get out of your car and meet a new person.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has shared:

Who called it a missed phone call from your parents and not a boomer rang?

Someone from 🇻🇨 has bookmarked:

I want to be so rich that when I see a spider in my house I won’t kill it, I’d buy another house.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has downloaded:

I forgot to get milk, so Santa has a cup of Pepsi Max.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has viewed:

You’d seriously think I was wanted for murder by the way I react when someone knocks on the door.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,748

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Ever think vampires just lied about hating garlic, now we’re just out here seasoning ourselves for them?

Making waves on YouTube:

Teens be like, “I wanted to do that until you asked me to.”

Making waves on Instagram:

The science between bragging about a man and him disappointing you immediately after needs to be studied.

Shared recently on WeChat:

If I were karma, I’d watch my back.

Broadcasted on Messenger:

I wanted to sleep it off, but insomnia said, “Not tonight, buddy.”

Shared recently on TikTok:

Broke my work phone. I can’t talk on it anymore. I should have done this a long time ago.

Broadcasted on Messenger:

I lied, there is no sex. You’re helping me repot plants.

Making waves on X:

My life advice is always the same. Wait for karma, but take up kickboxing, just in case.

Trending via Telegram:

Sorry, I had to cancel plans. The prophecy said so.

Trending via Discord:

My wife called to tell me she saw a fox on the way to work. I asked her how she knew it was on its way to work. She hung up on me.

Funny bad intention quotes

New funny bad intention quotes 👇

Heyyyyyy (with the worst of intentions).

2 days ago

bad, bad intention, greeting, humor, intention, intentions, sarcasm, worst

All funny bad intention quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

58 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Imagine hating me, and I’m just over here plucking chin hairs.

16 shares on Slack this month:

You’re never too old to shout, “Mooooo,” when you drive past some cows.

20 shares on Twitch this month:

That moment when you realize “yeah, this person is never gonna hear from me again” is so crazy.

44 shares on Threads this month:

Phones are wild… we really just sit around tapping glass all day.

42 shares on YouTube this month:

I don’t understand why banks get so mad when you can’t pay back your loan. You already knew I had no money when I came to borrow it.

35 shares on Threads this month:

Anyone know how to create an Outlook rule that sends every email to junk, deletes it, blocks the sender, and sets my laptop on fire?

18 shares on Twitch this month:

And no thanking Jesus unless he actually shows up at the ceremony.

80 shares on Twitch this month:

I think during winter we should also get to work less hours in a day, just like the sun.

30 shares on X this month:

All my passwords are protected, by my poor memory.

23 shares on TikTok this month:

I need you to think about me 23/7. You get 1 hour a day for yourself.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇩 has bookmarked:

One day you’ll find someone obsessed with you. It’s probably going to be a squirrel.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has downloaded:

Toddlers: the brutally honest roommates nobody asked for!

Someone from 🇳🇪 has bookmarked:

Wish I could step out of my body and take my own damn pictures.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has shared:

I never get as envious of parents as I do when their baby starts crying and they get to leave the event.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has copied:

With great power comes a huge electric bill.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has viewed:

I don’t need a New Year’s resolution, it’s the year’s turn to be better.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has shared:

If you have nothing nice to say, I promise you that I’ll have something even worse to say back.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has downloaded:

If we breakup because you “wanna focus on school,” I better see you in Harvard.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has shared:

I cannot imagine being in high school right now. Imagine the world is eating itself alive and you’re in school.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has downloaded:

If only my bank balance was as high as my daily calorie intake.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on WeChat:

Don’t let anyone make you feel bad about yourself. You can do that on your own.

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

Took a good look at my finances. I won’t make that mistake again.

Just shared via Messenger:

Short men store so much anger in their little body.

Just landed via X:

Today in who needs an alarm: my kid woke me up early by scream-whispering WHAT IS DUST?

Just shared via Discord:

I’m accused of being a plagiarist. Their words, not mine.

Seen just now on Messenger:

Forget my browser history, when I finally pass from this earth, please delete my calculator history because it’s way more embarrassing.

Spreading quickly via Discord:

If onion powder is dehydrated onions blitzed into powder, how much onion powder would I need to consume to have eaten a whole onion?

Live now on Telegram:

My toxic trait is treating my glasses like they’re not the most expensive thing I wear everyday.

Going viral on Reddit:

I would do anything for a job, except write a cover letter.

Seen just now on Messenger:

I suffer from that syndrome where your neutral expression makes it look like you’re an angry serial killer.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Funny bad intention quotes

New funny bad intention quotes 👇

Heyyyyyy (with the worst of intentions).

All funny bad intention quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨