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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇧 has downloaded:

I know I just ate a snack, but I could really use a snack.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has bookmarked:

Men love to show you a YouTube video. It is a sign of deep respect in their culture.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has viewed:

Smart people are like huskies. If you don’t give them an interesting problem, they become an interesting problem.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has downloaded:

I realized being an adult is just feeling too tired to function, and then functioning.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has bookmarked:

More often than not, I read applause as applesauce.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has shared:

If you’re just talking nonsense all the time and not thinking about what you’re doing, you’re either in love or at the office.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has copied:

I be like “communication is the key” then put my phone on do not disturb.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has shared:

Imagine you go bowling by yourself and you go sit down, but it’s your turn again.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has bookmarked:

Can’t. Too busy saving daylight.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has shared:

One day you’re cool and then the next, you realize your favorite pair of pants are sweatpants from the grocery store.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,764

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

A moment of silence for those who hate us but can’t unfriend us because they’re afraid of not knowing what’s happening in our lives.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Imagine if spiders giggled when they ran away from us.

Breaking via Instagram:

Does anyone else stare at the dead body in movies to see if you can catch them breathing?

Going viral on Twitch:

When I’m feeling old, I like to visit my parents so they can push all my buttons until I lose my shit and just like that, I’m 16 again.

Just landed via Threads:

Do you want to sit on the porch with me until we die or not?

Broadcasted on Threads:

If you haven’t felt old yet today, try explaining to a teenager how little kids used to sit on a phone book at dinner to be able to reach the table.

Making waves on Twitch:

Monday again. I just knew this would happen.

Just landed via Twitch:

They’re uploading my consciousness into a disposable vape.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Beware. There are people in the grocery store that you know who want to chat with you. Stay vigilant.

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

Everyone thinks they will be the first person in history to maintain their dignity while posting online.

211 Funny bed quotes

More funny bed quotes 👇

Had the bed all to myself last night, so you know what that means… I slept in a slightly different spot, and now my neck feels weird.

3 weeks ago

alone, bed, different, discomfort, feels, i, know, last, means, myself, neck, neck pain, night, pain, sleep, spot, weird

For even more funny bed quotes, hit next 👇

All funny bed quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

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Social Media Stars ⭐

19 shares on Pinterest this month:

Welcome to your 40s. You’re home from the party before you used to go out for the party in your 20s.

47 shares on X this month:

Hi there, I very much look forward to letting you down.

24 shares on Instagram this month:

As soon as the sun comes back out, I want a beer. It’s science.

23 shares on Snapchat this month:

I have to work because the baby is expensive. (I’m the baby.)

57 shares on Slack this month:

I want the job where I push scared skydivers out of planes.

15 shares on Twitch this month:

They say every snowflake is different, as if someone actually checked them.

66 shares on WeChat this month:

You can’t confuse me. I already don’t know what’s going on.

48 shares on Instagram this month:

Whenever I get up my cat gets up too and then yells at me like it’s my fault she decided we have to do this together.

77 shares on Instagram this month:

If I were you, I would rather be me.

72 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I was born tired, and I will die tired. If I ever tell you I’m not tired, I’m probably lying.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇴 has bookmarked:

I’m at the age where unnecessary noise be pissing me off.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has bookmarked:

Someone just honked to get me out of my parking spot faster… so now I have to sit here until both of us are dead.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has bookmarked:

Lifting my wife’s wedding veil and finding out she’s Darth Maul.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has bookmarked:

Gonna start using “with all dude respect”.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has shared:

Body: Time to sleep. Brain: Hey, that’s an interesting thought, here’s six billion more.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has viewed:

I’m quitting my job to do topless tarot readings on the beach.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has downloaded:

The enemy of my enemy is my friend. But I’m my own worst enemy, so I guess I’m also my best friend.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has copied:

Petition to lower the retirement age. I’m tired now.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has copied:

The introverted urge to spend a week alone at home after many holidays and family gatherings.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has bookmarked:

You don’t know about stupidity until your female friends open up about their love life.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on YouTube:

If anyone needs me, I’ll be in this whirlpool of emotions over there.

Spotted on Discord:

It’s funny how sometimes you buy a book, then read it in two days, and sometimes you buy a book, and it lives on your bookshelf for 12 years.

Going viral on Facebook:

I hate when I grab a live wire and everyone sees my damn skeleton.

Making waves on Twitch:

I named my wifi “The Promised LAN” because it always connects, but occasionally leaves you wandering in the desert looking for a better signal.

Live now on Telegram:

For someone with a dry phone, I’m on it way too much.

Just shared via Twitch:

It’s always “your monthly bill is available,” never “this month is on us.”

Going viral on Pinterest:

Alexa, take responsibility for my actions.

Just landed via Threads:

Heyyyyyy (with the worst of intentions).

Going viral on Reddit:

Being married means mostly shouting “What?” from other rooms.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

The global energy crisis could be solved if only we could harness the power of my wife slamming my car door.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

211 Funny bed quotes

More funny bed quotes 👇

Had the bed all to myself last night, so you know what that means… I slept in a slightly different spot, and now my neck feels weird.

All funny bed quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨