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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇧 has copied:

Halloween is the only day you can ghost someone and blame it on being festive.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has viewed:

Whispering to paramedic before I pass out: save me, but not enough that I have to go to work tomorrow.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has downloaded:

Sometimes I don’t worry about things at all and other times I am awake.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has copied:

It is only when a mosquito lands on your testicles that you realize there is always a way to solve problems without using violence.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has viewed:

My love language is caffeine and being left alone until I’m kind again.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has viewed:

Getting to know someone these days is impossible. No one is really single, everyone has something going on, is hung up on their ex or is otherwise damaged in some way.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has downloaded:

If Facebook has taught us anything it’s that a lot of people aren’t quite ready for a spelling bee.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has bookmarked:

If the man is silent, he is a thinker. If the woman is silent, the thinker is in big trouble.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has copied:

Prime numbers are so cunty. Like okay, diva — only divisible by yourself?

Someone from 🇬🇩 has copied:

Apologize for the job that you do. It would be nice if you were talented too.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

767 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,929

Funny Quotes Topics

13,902

Funny Quotes Images

10,929

Updated

20 minutes ago

Users Online

3,444

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Threads:

One day you’re young and carefree and the next, you’re preheating the bathroom before you go in for a shower.

Shared recently on Discord:

Horse girls and cat ladies get all the attention, but what about crow women?

Going viral on Discord:

I accidentally used my dog’s shampoo today, and now I’m feeling like such a good girl.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

What’s the best job for someone who cries very easily and cannot handle any criticism?

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Intro to salsa class was weird, I starved myself all day, there was no chips or dips and then these weirdos were all grabby and dancing around.

Making waves on Telegram:

You look like you suck at Mario Kart.

Seen just now on TikTok:

The best way to contact me is to meet me in my dreams at 3 a.m.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

My sneeze is the reason people in the middle ages believed sneezing was caused by demon possession.

Spotted on Instagram:

I don’t want to brag but I found a recipe online, and then within three weeks not only made the recipe, but closed the tab on my browser.

Shared recently on Instagram:

If Shakespeare were being born today, he’d be “Shaxxespyr.”

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media need people procrastination relationship sarcasm social someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

767 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,929

Funny Quotes Topics

13,902

Funny Quotes Images

10,929

Updated

20 minutes ago

Users Online

3,444

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇫🇮 has bookmarked:

I am cool with January lasting forever because rent is due February 1.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has bookmarked:

Instead of renting an apartment, I’m going to save up for a lighthouse and go insane in it.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has bookmarked:

Cows are very calm, considering the whole floor is food to them.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has shared:

Elevators frighten me. I take steps to avoid them.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has shared:

Please don’t dm me with the intention of dating me. You deserve less.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has downloaded:

My plans for today? Same as always: drink coffee and be sexy.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has copied:

My problem with Christmas shopping is that I keep seeing things that I like… for me.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has viewed:

Friends with benefits but the benefits are you getting me an internship with your father’s network.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has viewed:

My new coffee table book, “Accidental Screenshots,” is available for pre-order now.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has downloaded:

If you love something, set it free. If it comes back to you, then you love a boomerang.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Messenger:

My summer body has been pending for about ten years.

Shared recently on Facebook:

Remember before social media you would have to pick up the phone and call someone to tell them how much you love bacon?

Reported on Threads:

Welcome to your 40s: that “teenager”over there is actually 27.

Reported on Twitch:

Needs to be a Google Maps setting where you can ask them not to make you take a left across four lanes of oncoming traffic.

Shared recently on Messenger:

So I think the mammals have now ravaged this planet long enough. It’s time for the reptiles to take over again.

Making waves on Pinterest:

I told my wife the laundry on the couch ain’t gonna fold itself, so if y’all don’t hear from me later, she probably folded me like an omelet.

Reported on Snapchat:

I live in constant fear of being asked to repeat what you just said after I say I’m listening.

Going viral on Pinterest:

Bon Jovi must be at least 3/4 of the way there by now.

Going viral on Facebook:

Please do not test me. I’ve been saving up my rage like PTO.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Apparently I’m the reason why I never have any money. I am shocked!

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