Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇶 has viewed:

I’m gonna start sending women unsolicited pizza pics.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has shared:

I wish more dumb people were shy.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has downloaded:

Reverse cowgirl so I can post selfies.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has copied:

Call me constipated the way I don’t give a shit.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has bookmarked:

I can’t wait to go to bed, get terrible sleep, and wake up exhausted with a sore back.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has bookmarked:

We need a word for a type of person who spends all their time working to live in a city so they can be near cool things, but they don’t actually like going out.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has downloaded:

Everything is 10 times funnier when you are supposed to be quiet.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has viewed:

Can’t. Calling out some bullshitters on some bullshit.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has shared:

Every time you rub your eyes, they should change color a little.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has bookmarked:

Accidentally clicked a post about UFOs, and now my Facebook algorithm thinks I’m a much different person.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 19, 2026

Users Online

3,257

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Reddit:

A good substitute for love and and personal fulfillment is a big bowl of fries.

Broadcasted on Twitch:

Wrapping gifts on the floor after 50: 1% holiday spirit, 99% figuring out how to stand up without calling for help.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

Getting older just means that you have to start eating all the sad foods.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

It probably feels so good to ram your head into something as a cat.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

The only reason I’d want to go to heaven is to complain to the manager.

Seen just now on Instagram:

My toxic trait is when I’m bored, I start looking for flights to book.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Blackout curtains are dangerous, because it’s 1 p.m. outside and 1 a.m. in here.

Going bananas on Facebook:

You give my middle finger an erection.

Making waves on WeChat:

Delete a letter of his name from your contacts every time he makes you upset. When his name’s gone, he’s gone. Hangman that boy.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

I think you would all treat me a lot better if I possessed a small amount of plutonium.

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Social Media Stars ⭐

46 shares on Facebook this month:

Shopping is the only exercise I need.

44 shares on Instagram this month:

Please, Tinder, add AI to your app. I don’t want to be involved in the modern dating experience. Let a robot do it for me. Let the machines suffer in our place.

18 shares on Facebook this month:

Revenge? No. I just post hot selfies and let the algorithm do God’s work.

72 shares on Messenger this month:

When it gets past my bedtime, I get so scared.

64 shares on X this month:

Mom asked me what I was drinking the first time I got drunk and I said “breast milk” and now she’s not talking to me.

98 shares on Twitch this month:

“Some things are better left unsaid,” I think to myself immediately after I hit send.

36 shares on TikTok this month:

I do all my own stunts, but never intentionally.

17 shares on Instagram this month:

The only reason I insist on returning to the office is because my cat needs a break from me staring at him all day.

60 shares on Slack this month:

I need like twelve incomes for this lifestyle I have in my head.

75 shares on Twitch this month:

Dinosaurs never had coffee, and we see how that turned out.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

6 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t trust anyone who gets enraged over messed-up fast food orders.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

One night stands just make more sense for single people. Why would you need a night stand on both sides of the bed?

19 folks are currently checking 👀

ADHD is: being pretty good at basically anything you want to be, and absolutely terrible at anything you need to do to live.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

When I finally snap it’ll be because I had to type my email address in on the TV.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Why is bacon called bacon and cookies called cookies if you cook bacon and bake cookies?

17 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s kinda weird that in order to go to sleep you have to pretend like you are already sleeping.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Any tips on being smart? For someone just getting into thinking.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Do you ever think back about all the crazy stuff you did when you were younger, and wonder how you’re still alive?

12 folks are currently checking 👀

By the time he entered rehab, Popeye was more spinach than sailor man.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

I bet the inventor of the cannon would be relieved to know that they’re mostly about t-shirts now.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 19, 2026

Users Online

3,539

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇭 has bookmarked:

My life goal is to make you feel as awkward or awesome as you are making me feel.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has bookmarked:

I asked my boyfriend if he believed in trolls and elves and he said, “slightly.”

Someone from 🇿🇦 has bookmarked:

As a childless adult, it is my duty to embrace hobbies and pastimes that my peers cannot, as they have sacrificed their free time to maintain the population. I must vibe and chill, and do fun things, in their honor.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has shared:

Naturally introverted, selectively extroverted.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has copied:

Hey! (with the intention of going back to sleep)

Someone from 🇧🇷 has viewed:

The 10 minutes I spend on my mobile before I go to sleep are the best 3 hours of my day.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has bookmarked:

One of the toughest jobs in parenting is serving the inevitable eviction notice on your kid’s pillow fort.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has copied:

Is everyone enjoying their entire month of August off work with full pay? Oh yeah, I forgot, only Congress gets to do that.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has bookmarked:

If you have a pure heart, you can make pretty much any non-baking meal off just vibes and intuition.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has copied:

You’re over 35. Better go pee before you leave, pee when you get there, pee while you’re there, and pee before you leave.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Reddit:

If only my teeth were as white as my legs.

Just landed via Pinterest:

Stop giving kids Bible names but no Bible lessons. Moses tried to rob me last night.

Seen just now on Messenger:

I hope the coffee hits harder than reality does.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

So, if you are too tired to speak, sit next to me, because I am fluent in silence.

Trending via WeChat:

I know it’s traditional to start work at 9, but I think we could lower that age to 8.

Making waves on Telegram:

A fun wedding bit is to sit next to a random guest, point to the bride or groom & whisper, “it should’ve been you”

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

Phone dry, no food in the house, I keep dying in my game. I’m such a loser.

Going viral on Reddit:

I want someone who will look at me the same way I look at chocolate cake.

Just landed via Snapchat:

Oh, him? He’s my insignificant other.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

If you pretend you’re erasing the evidence of a murder while cleaning the bathroom, you’ll do a better job, and it actually becomes fun!

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