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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇳 has copied:

People said follow your dreams, so I went back to bed.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has bookmarked:

Alcohol: When you want to run away from your problems without moving.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has viewed:

One of my greatest strengths is appearing busy so people don’t try to speak to me.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has bookmarked:

Please, Tinder, add AI to your app. I don’t want to be involved in the modern dating experience. Let a robot do it for me. Let the machines suffer in our place.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has copied:

You want me to turn around? The thing that led to a total eclipse of the heart.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has bookmarked:

I prefer the Easter Bunny, for starters, he’s not making a list and checking it twice, and more importantly, he’s not watching me when I’m sleeping.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has shared:

Roses are red. Violets are blue. I hate the sounds you make when you chew.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has copied:

We should be able to take our arms off when we go to sleep, we have the technology.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has bookmarked:

I shall have another coffee, for I am sleeping standing.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has downloaded:

Horror movies have ruined the joy of skinny-dipping for me.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

808 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,970

Funny Quotes Topics

13,933

Funny Quotes Images

10,970

Updated

11 minutes ago

Users Online

3,431

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via YouTube:

It’s time I admit something: Sometimes, when I say good night, I don’t actually go to bed right away.

Spotted on Threads:

I hate it when I’m singing a song and the artist gets the words wrong.

Live now on Messenger:

There’s a great new book on minimalism but I only read the blurb because I believe that’s what the author would want.

Shared recently on Telegram:

Playing dumb for five minutes often saves a lot of work.

Just shared via Pinterest:

This summer I’m going cicada mode: emerging briefly from my house and being really loud until I find a mate.

Seen just now on Instagram:

Are you really a personal trainer or do you just want to wear shorts to work every day?

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Cheeseburgers should be free for anyone that’s in a bad mood.

Live now on Telegram:

I want to be rich enough where I’m not offended by the price of beef jerky.

Shared recently on YouTube:

Nothing messes up your Friday like realizing it’s only Thursday.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Girl math is crying for two hours and then realizing it wasn’t that deep.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

808 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,970

Funny Quotes Topics

13,933

Funny Quotes Images

10,970

Updated

11 minutes ago

Users Online

3,429

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

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Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇿 has shared:

Idiocracy wasn’t supposed to be a documentary.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has viewed:

To my beloved wife, I leave my circus and my monkeys.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has viewed:

Of course, I also put my mobile down from time to time. For example, when someone tries to call me.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has bookmarked:

Welcome to your fifties. Saturday Night Fever now means lots of rest, cold medicine, and chicken noodle soup.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has copied:

You never realize how many curse words are in a song till you play it for your family.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has shared:

Wearing shorts and my pale legs screamed at the sensation of sunlight like vampires.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has bookmarked:

Dating profiles should make you share a sound bite of you sneezing.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has bookmarked:

If your drinking story doesn’t involve law enforcement, I’m not listening.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has bookmarked:

Probably the most humiliating thing that can happen when you die is that you come back as a fitted-sheet ghost.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has bookmarked:

I took your advice and worked smarter not harder. Now I’m going to need your advice on a good lawyer.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Slack:

Hey man, your fly is down. Let me get that for you.

Reported on Discord:

How my weekend was? Light, dark, light, dark, Monday.

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

Talking to the stars because people suck.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

The most attractive thing a man can do is hitting his own head and repeating “stupid, stupid, stupid”.

Spotted on Snapchat:

Breaking News: Jenny on Facebook is having salad for dinner tonight.

Just shared via TikTok:

I hate it when people threaten to come over. Now I’ve got to do 2 years of housework in 30 minutes.

Spotted on Discord:

Sucking melted cheese off the burger wrapper as God intended.

Trending via Twitch:

I can relate to God because it also takes me a full week to finish something that still kind of sucks.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

We’re putting that movie you love back in theaters on one random Wednesday — and we’re not gonna tell you until Tuesday.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

My neighbor said he heard me having sex today but it was just me standing in front of my air conditioner.

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