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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇫🇯 has viewed:

I hate it when I’m outside, and an insect lands and crawls on my glasses, and for a split second, I think aliens have invaded.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has bookmarked:

I used to blame all my problems on my parents, but now that I’m a grown up, I have come to terms with the fact that when bad things happen to me, it’s probably just that Mercury’s in retrograde again.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has viewed:

If you scroll Twitter long enough, you too can burn calories by shaking your head.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has bookmarked:

NFTs were less about the money and more about the friends you scammed along the way.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has downloaded:

Gwyneth Paltrow, I received the message you sent me last night in my dream and will proceed with the plan.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has downloaded:

Scams used to be like “free money!” and now they’re like “hello, we have a job for you”, which seems to be a bad sign.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has shared:

Money does not buy happiness, but it’s better to cry in a sports car than on a bicycle.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has downloaded:

“Please feel free to ignore this email!” Way ahead of you, buddy.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has downloaded:

A haunted house but in every room someone is asking you to say a little something about yourself.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has bookmarked:

May he drop his phone on his face while he’s texting other girls.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

774 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,936

Funny Quotes Topics

13,910

Funny Quotes Images

10,936

Updated

59 minutes ago

Users Online

3,421

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Facebook:

If you want to experience hunger, go and live with a wealthy person or family.

Live now on Facebook:

I don’t mind being the villain in your story because you’re a clown in mine.

Breaking via Pinterest:

I logged on to Amazon and they said that they have run out of things that I don’t need.

Seen just now on TikTok:

Are you spaghetti because I want you to meat my balls?

Spotted on X:

Whoever said “team work makes the dream work” needs to explain that to my many personalities.

Seen just now on Twitch:

Meetings are a wonderful way to help your employees take a break from being productive.

Seen just now on TikTok:

The rule should be: if you can smell the cookout, you’re invited to the cookout.

Seen just now on Twitch:

I love cutting off Teslas. Like you may not let me merge over but your car sure as hell will.

Trending via Snapchat:

If an ice cream truck has its music on, are you supposed to pull over and let it pass like an ambulance?

Shared recently on Threads:

“I’ll just iron my clothes for work in the morning,” he thought in stupid bachelor.

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Funny brand new week quotes

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Trending Topics 📁

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

774 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,936

Funny Quotes Topics

13,910

Funny Quotes Images

10,936

Updated

59 minutes ago

Users Online

3,441

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇹 has copied:

Disney set unrealistic standards of how often woodland creatures would help me clean and do laundry if I just sang out my window.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has shared:

I just shaved my legs and man, the next 7 minutes and 34 seconds before it starts growing back is gonna feel amazing.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has bookmarked:

The first time you forgive out of love. The second time out of hope and the third time out of stupidity.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has bookmarked:

The PhD student is someone who foregoes their current happiness in order to forego future happiness.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has bookmarked:

Jennifer Lopez and Ben Affleck got engaged, broke up, married other people, had children, reunited, got married, broke up again, and I’ve been single that whole time.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has bookmarked:

You okay, babe? You’ve hardly touched the promises you made me.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has shared:

I’d be a horrible stalker… I’m always late.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has shared:

Ugh, but profoundly.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has shared:

I’m sick of getting woken up at 6am by the bin men. I just want a nice sleep but they always insist that I get out of the bin before they collect it.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has shared:

I am woman, hear me roar but also meow because I am sensitive.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Reddit:

I’m going to bed, everyone. Try to keep it down.

Live now on Instagram:

No one knows what I’m up to, not even me.

Making waves on YouTube:

Silence is golden. But duct tape is silver.

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

I bet the kids in Mrs. Doubtfire were surprised when found out their nanny was famous actor Robin Williams the whole time.

Spotted on WeChat:

You can add “cha cha cha” to any sentence you want without explaining yourself. Nobody really appreciates this.

Just landed via Twitch:

The best part about Smarties is pouring them into an empty prescription bottle and shaking them all into my mouth while waiting in line.

Seen just now on Telegram:

Establish dominance by asking your dentist if he’s flossing everyday.

Making waves on Threads:

I grew up in a kinder, gentler age. We pitied our fools.

Spotted on Twitch:

When I was a kid, we weren’t allowed to use our phones in school. Mainly because the cords wouldn’t reach.

Going viral on Facebook:

Hi. I didn’t mean to “like” your tweet. I was scraping dried jelly off my phone.

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