Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇴 has downloaded:

I dropped and broke my phone today. Hurt more than childbirth!

Someone from 🇦🇿 has viewed:

Who called it a period tracker instead of a madvent calendar?

Someone from 🇲🇳 has shared:

Babies sighing is so funny to me. My dear, the time to sigh has not come.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has viewed:

Sorry for being late, I was enjoying my last few minutes of not being here.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has downloaded:

The difference between a songbird and a hummingbird is that one of them knows the lyrics.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has downloaded:

I’m the person who requested weather reporters stand in the storms. I have no concept of wind or rain and love seeing needless suffering.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has downloaded:

The only appointment I’m ever on time for is disappointment.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has shared:

My motivation and me: It’s complicated.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has copied:

Marry the man who treats your dumb questions like they’re NASA-level problems.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has viewed:

Kinda rude when I spend money, and it actually leaves my bank account. But okay.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,351

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on X:

The gothic urge to live in a sleepy seaside town with a terrifying backstory.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

I love when women have one daughter as their only child. It’s so incredibly chic.

Spotted on Pinterest:

I don’t know why everyone wants love like in the movies. A movie is only 2 hours.

Going viral on Snapchat:

Lost my job to AI (my job was to be loudly and confidently incorrect).

Trending via Twitch:

The Sunday struggle is wanting to relax and wanting a clean house, but also not wanting to clean or move.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Reading a book is nice, but reading a book in the middle of the night when everyone is asleep is even better, it’s therapeutic.

Going viral on Reddit:

Offering someone food, and secretly hoping, they don’t want it.

Spotted on Pinterest:

Asking people their favorite color and then calling them liars.

Just shared via TikTok:

I’m doing a challenge called ‘November’ — it’s where I just try to get through every day in the month of November.

Live now on WeChat:

Imagine how much better the world would be if everyone set aside their differences and came together as one to buy me a castle.

Funny brand new week quotes

New funny brand new week quotes 👇

All funny brand new week quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections
✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

80 shares on Messenger this month:

I don’t know how to mop my kitchen floor without pretending l’m cleaning up a gruesome crime scene.

85 shares on YouTube this month:

I love befriending yappers. They bring the yapping out of me. Then we yap together. Yapping is so much fun.

44 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I love a touchy-feely man. Like, yes, please keep your hands on me.

42 shares on YouTube this month:

I always wonder who makes a more stupid face: women putting on make-up or men shaving?

97 shares on X this month:

Which wine pairs best with WWIII?

33 shares on Twitch this month:

Deleting university to focus on Twitter.

65 shares on Telegram this month:

Forget the alarm clock. Just give me the smell of bacon and coffee.

14 shares on Instagram this month:

As president, I will allow people to use the same password as before when changing their password.

82 shares on WhatsApp this month:

When I’m done eating… I have to show my hands to my cat, like I’m a blackjack dealer.

20 shares on TikTok this month:

Hate all political parties and you’ll never be disappointed.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Adulthood is about being able to eat cookies for breakfast, but not doing it because you already ate all the cookies.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

There are only two portion sizes for mashed potatoes: nowhere near enough (posh restaurants) or far, far too much (literally everyone else).

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Called in, “Let’s make this simple. What excuse haven’t I used yet?”

11 folks are currently checking 👀

I named my wifi “The Promised LAN” because it always connects, but occasionally leaves you wandering in the desert looking for a better signal.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Such is modern life. Mordor in our midst.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Breakfast in bed: where your cozy blanket turns into a crumby crime scene.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Switching between brainrot and deep intellectual talks is a skill that only a few acquire.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

I need to be more disciplined and stop procrastinating, starting tomorrow.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

I love when I clean my whole apartment just to sit in it like a Victorian widow waiting for bad news.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

What is it called when you’re smart but everything you do is freaking stupid?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,422

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇩 has viewed:

Last night my guardian angel came to me, covered me up, gave me a kiss on the forehead and whispered in my ear: “You’re a pain in the ass!”

Someone from 🇰🇿 has downloaded:

Go ahead and get some sleep, everyone. I’ll stay up and handle the overthinking.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has copied:

Whoever said money can’t buy happiness, clearly never paid for a divorce.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has shared:

Cracking the ice cubes out probably feels so good for the ice tray.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has copied:

This entire month could’ve been an email.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has shared:

House sitting for friends while they’re out of town. Never knew my buddy kept a diary.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has copied:

The romantic says that there is the right partner for everyone. The realist says: only one person has to choose the wrong one and then it won’t work out for everyone!

Someone from 🇨🇷 has copied:

“Stop recording everything and just enjoy the moment” is asking me for videos from last night.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has downloaded:

A freshly cleaned bathroom triggers an irresistible urge in men to trim their beard.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has shared:

“How would you describe yourself.” Me: I absolutely would not.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Threads:

It’s freaking me out to think of how bad I’d look at the Met Gala.

Just shared via Discord:

Mount Rushmore would be way more American if all the presidents were eating.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

I should have peed before I left, and other things I’ll never learn: A memoir

Shared recently on Reddit:

Sorry, I can’t hang out. I don’t know enough words.

Just shared via Facebook:

Someone called me strict today, and that means a lot to me because I’m a recovering people pleaser.

Spotted on Snapchat:

Is it healthier to drink tap water and let the fluoride calcify my pineal gland or drink bottled spring water and let micro plastics settle in my balls?

Seen just now on X:

You know what goes great with helping your kid with math homework? Vodka!

Spotted on TikTok:

Elections make you feel like we’re all in divorce court waiting to see who gets custody of us.

Going viral on Facebook:

Sorry for the things I said when I thought you weren’t listening.

Live now on X:

You’re not entertaining, you are exittaining.

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