Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇩 has bookmarked:

Those who still fit in their wedding dresses years later haven’t been making enough effort eating.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has shared:

Home is where the tap water doesn’t taste funny.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has shared:

The only exercise I’ve done this month is running… out of money!

Someone from 🇱🇸 has downloaded:

Parents be like “Boys are easier,” and then their daughter has to save the family from ruin.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has bookmarked:

The difference between a Lamborghini and a dead body is that I don’t have a Lamborghini in my garage.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has downloaded:

Deleting tweets like a writer who burns his manuscripts.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has viewed:

My biggest fear is waking up and being in the Renaissance era or something. Imagine having the knowledge of hot dogs but lacking the tools to make them.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has viewed:

If I ask “What’s your zodiac sign?” it’s either because we’re vibing or you’re getting on my nerves.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has shared:

It’s funny we got universal near-perfect free translation, and the world didn’t really change at all.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has shared:

The angel and devil on my shoulders are both completely fed up with me.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,345

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Slack:

Yabba dabba doo used to be a rad way to start a Saturday.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

Ghosting is disrespectful unless it’s me doing it.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Christmas is the season of giving, and I’m giving up for good.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

Anyone know which wine pairs well with societal collapse?

Going viral on Messenger:

Here’s what I’ve learned since I’ve been on social media: I’m not nearly as disturbed as I thought I was.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Vote for me, I’ll cut the alphabet in half.

Breaking via Slack:

Sleep is a beautiful thing. You don’t miss anyone, you can’t do anything wrong and you simply feel nothing.

Trending via Instagram:

You know when you tap a video to see how long it’s got left? I wish you could do that to people while they’re talking.

Making waves on Facebook:

Money talks, but all mine ever says is goodbye.

Just landed via Pinterest:

Technically mixed martial arts can include tickle fighting.

Funny carpentry quotes

New funny carpentry quotes 👇

All funny carpentry quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

73 shares on Instagram this month:

If Dracula had a cat, she’d be the one sleeping in the coffin.

57 shares on Discord this month:

I’ll never be badass enough to walk around chewing on a toothpick.

87 shares on Pinterest this month:

Needs to be a Google Maps setting where you can ask them not to make you take a left across four lanes of oncoming traffic.

43 shares on Reddit this month:

Why do men stay in the car for minutes after arriving home?

83 shares on X this month:

Saving on divorce lawyers by staying single.

59 shares on WeChat this month:

The longest and most adventurous journeys begin with the words: “I know a shortcut.”

46 shares on Telegram this month:

Just got my test results back and my cholesterol level is a cheese bratwurst.

58 shares on Telegram this month:

Adulthood is just waking up tired one day, and then being tired forever after that.

61 shares on Snapchat this month:

So many true crime podcasts are just like “a young woman went missing, the police took a week to respond, she was last seen with a man the community call Creepy Steve, he has never been questioned”

24 shares on X this month:

Me, telling my kids we’re leaving in 30 minutes: We’re leaving in 5 minutes.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

7 folks are currently checking 👀

90% of debugging is just realizing your own stupidity in slow motion.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t weigh myself because most scales don’t know how heavy all the grudges I’m holding onto are.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Just as “magic spells” use special rhymes and archaic terms to signal their power, the convoluted language of legalese acts to convey a sense of authority.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s not even a crush. it’s just unsupervised hope.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

I wish I was a cat. No bills, no job, just meow, meow.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

When you first meet a man, that fake version of him be so fire.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Tired of my landlord depending on my rent. Bro, get a job.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

I caught your husband cheating on you at an Alanis concert, and thought you, you, you oughta know.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

“Are you busy tomorrow?” That entirely depends on what you need me to do.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

David Attenborough narrating my life: “He’s still sleeping.”

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,758

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇴 has downloaded:

You give my middle finger an erection.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has bookmarked:

I just wanna buy $16 worth of a meme coin and sell it for $2.6M two weeks later.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has copied:

“I’m so good at doing nothing. I wish I could get paid for it.”

Someone from 🇹🇻 has viewed:

Very confusing that gross pay is before tax. I always find the number way grosser after tax.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has viewed:

Wild how we don’t get a public holiday for Wrestlemania, but okay.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has copied:

One of the benefits of being my friend is that you can come to my house in your pajamas, no make-up, and look like crap and I won’t judge you.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has downloaded:

When the executioner asks me what my final words are, I’m just going to start filibustering.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has bookmarked:

You are my favorite dirty thought.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has bookmarked:

My life is constantly oscillating between “must save money” and “you only live once”.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has bookmarked:

Just caught a moth and sent it back outside. Feeling like Mr. Miyagi.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Telegram:

Sorry I’m late, I believed the washing machine when it said it only had one minute left in the cycle.

Going viral on Pinterest:

Ah, the magical land of Monday—the gift that keeps not giving!

Just shared via Pinterest:

Some people call me crazy. I prefer the term happy with a twist.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Some people can eat anything they want and stay slim. I put on weight just by reading the recipe.

Breaking via TikTok:

I wish I got hotter every time a man made me mad.

Making waves on TikTok:

Going to ragebait men by asking, “Do you ever wish you were tall?”

Shared recently on WeChat:

It’s important that everyone takes really good pictures of me this summer.

Going bananas on Telegram:

I need a long hot meteor shower.

Just landed via Twitch:

If I turned into a “teen wolf”, my first order of business would definitely be helping my basketball team get to the local championships.

Just shared via Facebook:

It’s not my fault that when I said you looked “stunning” you assumed I meant in a positive way.

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