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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇪 has bookmarked:

Sat at a stop sign waiting for it to turn green, if you’re wondering how I’m doing today.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has viewed:

Just let your girlfriend be crazy, like who cares, bro.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has copied:

Why does everyone force introverts to leave their comfort zone, but no one forces extroverts to shut up for a while?

Someone from 🇧🇿 has viewed:

Striking gold in your 40s: finding a close parking spot that’s in the shade on a hot summer day.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has shared:

I’d rather lose you than the argument.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has downloaded:

Sorry, I missed your call. I watched it ring and everything.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has downloaded:

It’s quite ironic that “strap on,” backwards, spells “no parts.”

Someone from 🇨🇫 has bookmarked:

I’ve jogged with my jogging pants about as often as I’ve rolled through the kitchen with kitchen roll.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has bookmarked:

I see no action figures, puzzles, or board games. I thought you said you wanted to play with me.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has copied:

Mario Kart gave me unrealistic expectations of how banana peels affect traffic.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,423

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via TikTok:

The horror: “Come on, I’ll introduce you to everyone.”

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

When people give me directions and they’re like “you can’t miss it,” I’m like, “Oh, you do not know what I’m capable of.”

Going viral on Snapchat:

Pretty sure the guy in front of me at McDonald’s ordered the rest of the food.

Seen just now on Threads:

You’re 25, stressing like you’re 40, because you want to be rich before 30, am I right?

Just shared via Snapchat:

Filling animals with helium is kinda weird, but whatever floats your goat.

Just shared via Messenger:

Bought an eggplant, imma grow my own eggs.

Going bananas on Reddit:

Have you tried complaining about it?

Going bananas on Twitch:

This post is invisible, and only those going to Hell can see it.

Making waves on Threads:

I love hard, but I stupid harder.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

ADHD is when you buy a blender and then make smoothies every day for 2 weeks, and then never make one or even acknowledge your blender ever again.

Funny cat sitter quotes

New funny cat sitter quotes 👇

Gonna start an app for cat sitters where they can review the cats they take care of and it’ll be called Litterboxd.

4 weeks ago

app, care, cat, cat sitter, cats, comedy, humor, Litterboxd, pet, pet care, review, sitter, start, take, technology, where

All funny cat sitter quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

43 shares on LinkedIn this month:

My kidnappers sent me back early with a full apology, some money, and several of their fingers.

25 shares on Messenger this month:

My dream is being pitted against the world’s greatest AI in a writing contest and crafting a story that’s so beautiful that I make the computer cry.

54 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Getting out of a sports bra looks like it should be a professional women’s sport.

41 shares on Reddit this month:

I’ve skipped midlife crisis and gone straight to birdwatching.

80 shares on Facebook this month:

They should release the Epstein list right before the Oscars.

44 shares on Slack this month:

The longer I work in corporate, the more I realize… Micromanaging is just insecurity dressed up as leadership.

32 shares on WeChat this month:

“You just want an easy life.” Should I want a difficult one?

41 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Nobody cleans better than somebody that’s pissed off.

23 shares on Twitch this month:

Sometimes I apologize to my car when I hit a pothole.

63 shares on Instagram this month:

If parallel universe exist, I hope the other me is doing well.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇱 has bookmarked:

I recently discovered “movies.” They’re usually like an hour and a half long, and a pretty good way to kill time. Check it out.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has downloaded:

I don’t understand all the fuss about ChatGPT – I have teenagers who already know everything.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has viewed:

I had a heated but interesting discussion today and they even agreed with me at the end. That’s exactly why I love talking to myself.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has viewed:

Noam Chomsky is a crazy name, like you sound hungry as f***.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has downloaded:

It’s called shitposting, Your Honor. You should try it sometimes; it’s liberating.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has downloaded:

Cats are smarter than dogs. You can’t get eight cats to pull a sled through snow.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has shared:

Me: I’m an introvert. Vodka: No, you’re not.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has viewed:

Never faked an orgasm before, but the joy of ugly presents.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has downloaded:

I broke up with the gym. We were just not working out.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has viewed:

Sorry I left you on read, I didn’t mean to open it just yet.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Snapchat:

It sure is strange that after Tuesday the rest of the week spells WTF.

Going viral on WeChat:

Whenever Im in trouble, I think, what would Jesus do? Then I pretend to be dead and disappear for 3 days.

Broadcasted on Telegram:

Trust my gut? The thing that makes weird gurgling noises immediately when a work meeting goes quiet.

Going bananas on YouTube:

Everyone’s a gangster until they turn a spoon the wrong way under running water.

Shared recently on Twitch:

Waking up early is cool until it starts feeling like you’ve had a long day at 10 a.m.

Seen just now on Slack:

This can’t be the same body that used to be able to stay up all night.

Seen just now on Messenger:

My phone is on Do Not Disturb because I am disturbed enough as it is.

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

I’m gonna dress how I want this summer, and if you think I’m fat, well, so do I.

Live now on Facebook:

What is the name of the course in medical school where you learn not to take your patients seriously?

Freshly posted on X:

“Dairy Queen” is actually the perfect drag name.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Funny cat sitter quotes

New funny cat sitter quotes 👇

Gonna start an app for cat sitters where they can review the cats they take care of and it’ll be called Litterboxd.

All funny cat sitter quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨