Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇽 has copied:

Ruined a Ferrari guy’s day today by telling him that I loved his Corvette.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has downloaded:

Some people still fail to understand that the boot still has no problem crushing you, even if you lick it clean.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has downloaded:

Nobody is more stressed than a person who has a lot of interests or passions and is still confused about their career.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has bookmarked:

Got electrocuted while fixing the doorbell, and now I can hear my girlfriend’s thoughts. She’s thinking she should have called an electrician.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has bookmarked:

You never forget your first kiss. Or your first meeting with HR.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has bookmarked:

Being a people pleaser that no one is pleased with is the main cause of my anxiety.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has viewed:

Just saw the fattest bird. This guy must get up early as hell.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has viewed:

You’re all using your crystals wrong. Put them in a sock and start swinging.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has bookmarked:

Airlines be like: “Oh, wow. Oh, God. We didn’t think everyone would bring a bag!”

Someone from 🇸🇱 has downloaded:

You look like the kind of person who would hit rock bottom and then start drilling.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,604

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via TikTok:

Life so stupid, I just want a burger and to be held.

Just landed via TikTok:

I’m not feeling very worky today.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

We should make a new internet that’s as hard to use as the old internet was, so anyone that’s too stupid to have used the internet 20 years ago can’t get on it.

Breaking via WeChat:

I’m now at the age where sitting cross-legged on the floor is punishable by about three days of full-body paralysis.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Imagine if all the money spent on AI was spent on trains.

Just landed via Snapchat:

Your in his DMs, I’m on Etsy paying a witch to put a spell on him.

Just landed via Snapchat:

Forget Spotify Wrapped. How many minutes did you spend listening to your girlfriend this year?

Spotted on Reddit:

You ever notice how fans of the worst music always focus on the meanings of the songs instead of the actual music?

Just shared via Snapchat:

I gotta ask, what part of ‘I don’t eat sugar’ don’t I understand?

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

The quickest way to double your money is to hold it in front of a mirror.

Funny copy and paste quotes

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Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

32 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Women watch Netflix with subtitles because they don’t know how to listen.

98 shares on Snapchat this month:

Why does everyone force introverts to leave their comfort zone, but no one forces extroverts to shut up for a while?

100 shares on Snapchat this month:

We need a slur for people that use AI.

10 shares on WeChat this month:

Laundry day is my favorite day of the week. That’s why I dress for it every day.

28 shares on Pinterest this month:

I like to put “No DMs” in my bio to pretend that I’m attractive.

76 shares on Facebook this month:

I’ve broken all my New Year’s Resolutions so now I’m moving on to laws of nature.

79 shares on Threads this month:

A Southerner dies every time you people type “ya’ll” instead of “y’all,” btw.

40 shares on Twitch this month:

Pretending you don’t notice people staring at you is a skill.

86 shares on X this month:

Sorry for being socially awkward. It’s just that I’m socially awkward.

29 shares on Instagram this month:

The older I get, the more I understand why roosters just scream to start their day.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

19 folks are currently checking 👀

When you turn 50, they change the lightbulb in your fridge to that memory eraser from Men in Black.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Not to brag, but I boiled the right amount of pasta. Once. Five years ago.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Who’s up thinking about the crushing weight of existence?

22 folks are currently checking 👀

What do you call it when everything pisses you off but you’re good at not murdering people?

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Therapists are like, “You don’t owe anyone anything. Except me. You owe me 250 dollars for this session.”

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Girl cats get named after ancient goddesses and boy cats get named after Taco Bell menu items.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Thanks for leaving my door open; I was running low on houseflies.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

What if aliens watch our movies about aliens and then invade accordingly in hopes of fitting in with our culture?

14 folks are currently checking 👀

The worst part of marriage is when you do something stupid, the best part of marriage is when your partner does something stupid.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

I was gonna brush up against you like a cat, but whatever, bro.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,604

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇻🇨 has shared:

Getting a random boner is a bit funny. Like, what is it, boy? What do you see?

Someone from 🇮🇸 has bookmarked:

Making dinner with my left hand, so it feels like someone else is doing it.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has shared:

Britney Spears working at an ice-cream shop called ‘Scoops, I did it again.’

Someone from 🇹🇹 has bookmarked:

Uber sends notifications like “Hey, want to take an Uber right now?” No thanks, buddy. It’s more for when I need to go somewhere.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has bookmarked:

I’m a social media influencer in that I’ve influenced people to ignore me on social media.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has viewed:

Italy stands for I Truly Always Love You.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has bookmarked:

Called in, “Let’s make this simple. What excuse haven’t I used yet?”

Someone from 🇩🇰 has downloaded:

Turns out strange women lying in ponds distributing swords was a better basis for a system of government actually.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has viewed:

“Seize the day!” No thank you. I will leave the day alone and hope it extends me the same courtesy.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has shared:

I don’t abuse substances. I cherish and nurture them.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Reddit:

Elections is like waiting for the results of a biopsy, except half your family hopes it’s cancer.

Going viral on Pinterest:

Hey, boy, are you the worst-case scenario? Because you’re all I think about.

Freshly posted on Threads:

Sometimes I just want a man to talk to me in the same voice he uses to talk to his dog.

Just landed via Slack:

Roses are red. Daisies are white. I’m in a grumpy mood. My underwear is too tight.

Going viral on Twitch:

I hate math, but I love counting money.

Freshly posted on Threads:

Opera is when a guy gets stabbed in the back and, instead of bleeding, he sings.

Spotted on Slack:

Folding laundry is like packing to stay home.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

People who play golf don’t concern me nearly as much as the people who watch it.

Shared recently on Threads:

If a portal opened up in front of me, I’d go in—no questions asked.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

The introverted urge to spend a week alone at home after many holidays and family gatherings.

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