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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇻 has downloaded:

I love your niche references! Are you typically ignored in large groups, by any chance?

Someone from 🇪🇪 has downloaded:

This going into the office stuff blows. Like, I seriously have to wear clothes now.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has bookmarked:

Almost all of my bad decisions are food-related.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has downloaded:

Calling the police when someone unfollows.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has shared:

As a wife and mother my hobbies include rage cleaning, rage cooking, and rage folding.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has downloaded:

Why do you assume it’s invalid to “make stuff up” during an argument? It shows initiative and creativity.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has viewed:

“You’re such a stalker!” God forbid a woman wants to know more about her future husband.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has bookmarked:

The collective noun for a group of narcissists should be an ‘egosystem’.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has downloaded:

Dear people who talk on speakerphone out in public. Everyone around you hates you.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has downloaded:

People on Facebook be like “can anyone tell me about a thing I can easily Google myself?”

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

1834 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

11,996

Funny Quotes Topics

14,796

Funny Quotes Images

11,996

Updated

21 seconds ago

Users Online

3,437

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Reddit:

You know what goes great with helping your kid with math homework? Vodka!

Just shared via WeChat:

Sometimes I think about starting a podcast and then I remember all I do during conversations is nod.

Just landed via TikTok:

They say we learn from our mistakes, that’s why I’m making as many as possible. Soon I’ll be a genius.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

When I say I’m Christmas shopping the “for myself” is silent.

Trending via TikTok:

The older you get, the farther away your toenails are when they need a trim.

Trending via TikTok:

Never go to bed angry. Stay up and finish the argument like an adult.

Reported on Twitch:

I don’t want to “act young”. I just can’t be as “grown up” as others my age.

Seen just now on Reddit:

Just found out it don’t matter how early I go to bed, I just don’t wanna go to work.

Breaking via Pinterest:

My account is fake, I’m actually your probation officer.

Just landed via WeChat:

I accidentally poured vodka on my orange juice this morning. Twice.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

1834 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

11,996

Funny Quotes Topics

14,796

Funny Quotes Images

11,996

Updated

21 seconds ago

Users Online

3,433

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇸 has downloaded:

My dream DUI is driving a Saab through the Great British Bake Off tent.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has shared:

I’m officially at the age where my favorite thing to do is sit down.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has copied:

Tom and Jerry fooled me into thinking dogs bullied cats when it’s the opposite in reality.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has viewed:

Eating wings is the opposite of flying.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has shared:

My summer body is just my winter body with better lighting.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has copied:

I would only enjoy the Met Gala if at the end of that runway they all walked into a volcano.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has downloaded:

Guy who normally applauds when the plane lands right before the pilot crashes it: “Boo!”

Someone from 🇱🇾 has viewed:

Not the sharpest cheddar on the charcuterie board.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has copied:

It’s weird that Usher doesn’t have any songs about showing people to their seats.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has copied:

Welcome to social media. A person who does not understand humor will contact you shortly.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Slack:

Being naked with shoes on feels more naked than being totally naked.

Making waves on Snapchat:

So deep in her Instagram story, I accidentally liked an ad for a Toyota.

Trending via Pinterest:

If the first thing you do in the morning is checking your emails, you’re starting your day with other people’s problems.

Seen just now on TikTok:

I need a break from me.

Just landed via Twitch:

I just sneezed next to my computer and the anti-virus popped up.

Going viral on Telegram:

They hooked up tubes and sensors, but the doctor still can’t figure out why my kisses are so sweet. They want to hold me overnight and “never let go.”

Just landed via Telegram:

My real introduction to classical music came from watching Tom & Jerry cartoons as a kid. Also how I got into sadism.

Seen just now on Slack:

I always feel sleepy, except when I want to sleep.

Making waves on Slack:

Website: We use cookies to improve our performance. Me: Same!

Live now on Telegram:

Welcome to middle age. You now take pictures of instructions so you can enlarge them.

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