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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇻 has copied:

Blink if you want me!

Someone from 🇱🇰 has bookmarked:

If I’m ever murdered, feel comfort in knowing I ran my mouth until the bitter end.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has viewed:

Tidying up usually ends up with you sitting somewhere and playing around with things you found while tidying up.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has copied:

I get ignored so much, my name should be “terms and conditions”.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has downloaded:

If Dracula had a cat, she’d be the one sleeping in the coffin.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has copied:

The sexual tension when everyone arrives at a 4-way stop at the same time.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has downloaded:

Shuffling into the kitchen in a robe Sunday morning to change the clock on the microwave is the lamest form of time travel ever.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has viewed:

Not to brag, but I can put my socks on without sitting down.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has shared:

At least 80% of my day is spent holding back my inappropriate thoughts.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has shared:

Don’t pretend to be someone you’re not. It will never bring you true happiness or fulfillment. Also, it’s a felony.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2326 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,488

Funny Quotes Topics

15,192

Funny Quotes Images

12,488

Updated

21 minutes ago

Users Online

3,460

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Messenger:

Justice is a dish best served cold. If it were served warm, it would be just water.

Going viral on Telegram:

There’s really nothing as pathetic as watching a sad little man argue with Grok in hopes of manipulating the conversation to get an answer he wants.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

I saw someone wearing a shirt today that said “Eat Pasta Run Fasta,” and I can’t get it out of my head.

Just landed via Twitch:

Unfortunately, a great many problems in life can be solved by just being hotter.

Going viral on Facebook:

Friends with no kids are like: Want to go to New Zealand this Friday?

Seen just now on Threads:

Deleting dating apps to meet someone the old-fashioned way (in the HR department).

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Welcome to your 40s: that “teenager”over there is actually 27.

Breaking via Snapchat:

Money enters like Beyoncé and exits like Britney.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

No email needs to tell me not to reply.

Just shared via Messenger:

My dream is to buy a horse and race it. The horse will probably beat me but it’ll still be fun.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2326 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,488

Funny Quotes Topics

15,192

Funny Quotes Images

12,488

Updated

21 minutes ago

Users Online

3,462

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇻 has copied:

If you want to make God laugh, inhale some helium then tell Him your plans.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has downloaded:

My husband has entered the “fun socks” years.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has copied:

Sometimes after sex, I wonder what it would be like to have sex as a couple.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has downloaded:

There is nothing like a little tomato soup to soothe the soul, even if it’s cold, over ice, with a celery stalk and vodka.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has bookmarked:

I’m not talking to my husband and I don’t think he even knows it.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has bookmarked:

I feel sorry for Netflix era kids. They will never know the high stakes adrenaline of running away in an ad break, with the beckoning call of a sibling screaming “It’s ON!” to send you hurdling over furniture to get back in time.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has shared:

Yes, liquor store clerk, I do need help. But I decided to come here instead.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has viewed:

Handyman to customer: If I had wanted you to watch me work, I would have become an actor.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has copied:

My dream DUI is driving a Saab through the Great British Bake Off tent.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has viewed:

Lord of the Rings is a story about a brave little Hobbit on a mission to destroy a ring and save the world, and his annoying friend Frodo.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Slack:

Refusing to attend my brother’s gambling intervention until they agree to call it a slot shaming.

Shared recently on YouTube:

I toss and turn in bed all night like a beautiful rotisserie chicken.

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

No better feeling than getting home and realizing you forgot the one thing you went out for.

Spotted on Threads:

I followed my heart, and it led me to the fridge.

Seen just now on X:

Santa punched a hole in my wall because I left him soy milk.

Reported on YouTube:

You should be able to call out of work if your partner is so cozy and warm in the morning.

Trending via Pinterest:

I don’t have to take this abuse from you; I’ve got hundreds of people dying to abuse me.

Shared recently on X:

My card got declined at the barbershop so they put all the hair in my mouth and squeezed me until it came out of my head.

Trending via X:

Sign at the zoo says “don’t stick your hand in the alligator cage”. Thanks, but I’ll do my own research.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

As long as I can dip something in something, I’m happy.

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