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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇺 has shared:

Just blocked a guy for accusing me of being “all talk”. On Twitter.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has bookmarked:

Why put off until tomorrow what you can have an intern do today?

Someone from 🇸🇮 has shared:

I am the proud father of two content providers. I mean children. Two children.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has copied:

No one told me adulthood would require this much multi-factor authentication.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has viewed:

Whenever I have a headache, I take 2 aspirin and keep away from children, just like it says on the bottle.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has downloaded:

We need a streaming service that’s only ads. No shows, just commercials. They pay us $15 a month.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has bookmarked:

If I say, “First of all,” run away, because I have prepared peer-reviewed research, data, and charts, and I will destroy you.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has copied:

If you’re cremated after you die, you can be put into an hourglass and continue to participate in family game night.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has shared:

According to my chocolate advent calendar, tomorrow is Christmas.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has bookmarked:

Imagine being all knowing and still putting a snake in charge of apples.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2128 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,290

Funny Quotes Topics

15,017

Funny Quotes Images

12,290

Updated

2 minutes ago

Users Online

3,435

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via YouTube:

That awkward moment when you’ve said “What?” three times, so you just say “Oh, yeah..” even though you have no idea what they said.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Imagine hearing the ice cream truck music, but at night.

Seen just now on YouTube:

You look like you take lavender bubble baths with rose petals, surrounded by candles, bro.

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

I never give second chances, just 10 and then goodbye.

Going viral on Instagram:

Whoever said “Out of sight, out of mind” never had a spider disappear in their bedroom.

Just landed via TikTok:

I bring a very “are you going to eat your pickle” vibe to lunch meetings.

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

Do people who love escape rooms not know about IKEA?

Making waves on Facebook:

The pain of watching a movie with someone who talks a lot.

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

If you compliment me, my glasses fog up.

Seen just now on WeChat:

Stop checking up on your friends, and check up on me.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2128 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,290

Funny Quotes Topics

15,017

Funny Quotes Images

12,290

Updated

2 minutes ago

Users Online

3,428

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

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Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇾 has copied:

I’m not religious, but if someone is turning water into wine, let’s take a second look.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has shared:

Super excited about a brand new week of faking it.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has downloaded:

Most insane people live outside of madhouses.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has bookmarked:

Everyone is celebrating my vegan Bolognese sauce. The secret ingredient is minced meat.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has downloaded:

The final level of being smart is just pretending you don’t know anything to make your life easier.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has shared:

There is always enough for the needy, there is never enough for the greedy.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has bookmarked:

Gnocchi: The small, chubby children of spaghetti and potatoes.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has viewed:

“I” before “E,” except when your foreign neighbor Keith receives eight counterfeit beige sleighs from weird, feisty, caffeinated weightlifters.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has downloaded:

Every Jurassic Park movie should end with an insurance adjuster getting a phone call and immediately throwing up.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has bookmarked:

Yesterday my husband thought he saw a cockroach in the kitchen. He sprayed and cleaned everything thoroughly. Today I’m putting the cockroach in the bathroom.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Threads:

You want me to go apple picking? The original sin?

Breaking via Slack:

I know I’m almost 40 because I had a few drinks last night and woke up this morning thinking: Oh no I bought so many socks online last night.

Going viral on Instagram:

Excuse me sir, are you going to finish that existential crisis?

Reported on Twitch:

Skinny people are easier to get blown around by storms. These donuts are for my safety.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

I only accept apologies in cash.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Sorry, can’t. I’m too busy growing new neural pathways to make space for a stranger’s opinion. Evolution takes bandwidth, man.

Spotted on WeChat:

Not trying to brag but this cop says my rear end is smoking.

Just shared via Pinterest:

Single in the womb, single till the tomb!

Just landed via X:

I trust an insult more than I do a compliment.

Just landed via Snapchat:

Unpopular opinion: a honeymoon is more needed 5 to 10 years down the road, versus right after getting married.

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