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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇱 has copied:

“And on the 7th day he rested”. Obviously God had not yet created laundry at that point.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has bookmarked:

Coke Zero sounds like a government pledge to eliminate fizzy drinks by 2030.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has bookmarked:

So, if I take out a reverse mortgage on my house does that mean I’ll own a bank after 30 years?

Someone from 🇳🇿 has shared:

I like the concept of restaurant appetizers: “Bring me something to eat. And bring me something else to eat while I’m waiting.”

Someone from 🇲🇨 has copied:

Feeling like Floyd in this May weather (illiterate and violent).

Someone from 🇱🇷 has copied:

You can learn a lot about a person by observing their every waking movement from a tree outside their house.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has downloaded:

I used to be able to eat whatever I wanted without gaining weight. Now I pick up a fork and gain seven pounds.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has viewed:

You give my middle finger an erection.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has viewed:

If overthinking burned calories, I’d never need to exercise again.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has shared:

The question of whether an employer values its employees is sometimes answered by the toilet paper.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

804 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,966

Funny Quotes Topics

13,930

Funny Quotes Images

10,966

Updated

50 minutes ago

Users Online

3,428

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Messenger:

I want to be cuddled, but I also want to be left alone. Being crazy is hard.

Just shared via Reddit:

First responders? You mean reply guys?

Trending via Messenger:

Which one of you shrunk all of my jeans?

Shared recently on Reddit:

Changed my bio on bumble to “I’m gonna murder ur whole family” and guys still responded.

Reported on X:

“Don’t bite the hand that feeds you!” Maybe just don’t bite hands. Shouldn’t have to qualify it.

Going viral on Reddit:

Interesting people are my favorite endangered species.

Broadcasted on WeChat:

If you feel fat and sad just know it’s someone out there fatter than you.

Spotted on Discord:

Stop asking me if I’m tired. Can’t I just be ugly?

Broadcasted on Discord:

Tinder is a food delivery app if you’re good at it.

Just shared via Slack:

A piece of chocolate contains just enough energy to take another one.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

804 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,966

Funny Quotes Topics

13,930

Funny Quotes Images

10,966

Updated

50 minutes ago

Users Online

3,428

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇿 has shared:

The ideal girlfriend breaks your heart, so you go on to do great things.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has copied:

Them: OMG, I haven’t seen you in so long. Me: Yeah, that was on purpose.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has viewed:

Holding this fart in feels like I’m pregnant with a dinosaur.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has bookmarked:

Some people’s high horses are actually donkeys.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has downloaded:

When you’re dead, you don’t know that you’re dead. But it’s hard for those around you. It’s the same when you’re stupid.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has viewed:

I’ve never had a beer in the shower; I’m saving it for a very low moment in my life.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has viewed:

Internet strangers offer the best advice.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has shared:

My youngest started kindergarten today and I cried, but mostly for his teachers.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has bookmarked:

80 percent of my life now is just “hmmmm… should I bring my jacket or not?”

Someone from 🇯🇲 has shared:

I swear people go to Starbucks and just say random words. “Lemme get a grande iced mocha no foam quad soy hexagon vortex hypothesis with steamed ice”.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on YouTube:

Waiting for the websites to start offering pizza instead of just cookies.

Just landed via Discord:

Why a bug would spend such a long fraction of its short life immobile on my ceiling beats me.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

I’m nearly qualified to be a weaver. My final exam is looming.

Trending via WhatsApp:

When someone giving me directions says, “You can’t miss it,” I would love to tell them just how wrong they were if I could find my way back to them.

Trending via TikTok:

Can’t, trying to piece together today’s news from social media posts.

Just shared via WeChat:

Online shopping gives me a reason to live for another 3-5 business days.

Trending via Twitch:

Have you ever met the human version of a headache?

Spotted on WhatsApp:

You need a twins name suggestion? How about Kate and DupliKate?

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

Farmers markets should be for vegetables — not for millennials unloading their failed Etsy-store arts and crafts.

Making waves on Snapchat:

If I text you an accordion emoji, it means you better start acting accordingly.

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