Wordgag ツ

Jan 21, 2025
Share →: I’m so single. When they ask me for an emergency contact, I put the neighbor’s dog.

Commentary:
"🐶 Who needs a human emergency contact when you have a loyal furry friend ready to fetch help at a moment's notice? Single life level: Expert. 😂"
Jan 21, 2025
Share →: If dogs ever learn to talk, I want everyone to keep in mind that mine is a big fat liar.

Commentary:
"If dogs could talk, it would be a whole new level of drama at the dog park! 🐶🗣️🤥 Just imagine the tall tales your furry friend might come up with! Better hide those socks before they spill the beans about who the real sock thief is 😉🧦"
Jan 21, 2025
Share →: A man rejecting my advances can’t hurt me. I have a dog who leaves the bed every time I climb in.

Commentary:
"Who needs rejection from a man when even your dog's like, 'Nah, I'm out' 🤣🐶 #dogloyalty #rejectedbyboth"
Jan 21, 2025
Share →: If my dog knew how many photos I have of him sleeping, he’d file a restraining order against me.

Commentary:
🐶 "When your dog catches you being a sleep paparazzi, it's time to lawyer up! 😂 Who knew that sleepy faces could be so incriminating? Someone's definitely on the naughty list now!"
Jan 21, 2025
Share →: I wish my doctor would put down a little treat to distract me like my vet does for my dog.

Commentary:
"Imagine going to the doctor's office and finding a trail of treats leading to the examination room! 🐾 Who says bribing with snacks only works on pets? 🍖😂 Maybe we should start a 'treats-for-patients' movement! 🏥 #DoctorVsVet"
Jan 21, 2025
Share →: I’m just saying, no dog has ever ghosted me.

Commentary:
"Yep, dogs are the ultimate loyal companions. They'll never leave you on 'paws' 🐾 or let you 'fetch' a disappointed text 📱. No ghosting here, just tails wagging! 🐶👻"
Jan 21, 2025
Share →: Nothing makes me more stabby than when my husband ignores me and starts talking to the dog.

Commentary:
Oh, the betrayal! 🐶 Ignoring the hand that feeds to chat with the one that barks – it's a woof situation for sure! 🗡️💔 #StabbyLittleSecrets
Jan 21, 2025
Share →: My dog pisses on every election sign regardless of political party so I have no idea who he is voting for.

Commentary:
Looks like your dog is the ultimate bipartisan pee-ologist! 🐶🤣 Who knew our furry friends could play a part in the political process too? Maybe he's advocating for a "pawsome" unity party! 🐾 #Dogtatorship
Jan 21, 2025
Share →: You don’t scare me. You’re not the evil eye I get from my dog when I make him get up from the couch so I can lay down.

Commentary:
"Well, if looks could kill, your dog would be a certified assassin! 😂👀 Who knew the evil eye from a furry friend could be more intimidating than any threat out there? Watch out, that couch belongs to the real master! 🐶💺"
Jan 20, 2025
Share →: My dog just tracked and successfully located a folium lanceolatum, more commonly known as a leaf.

Commentary:
🐶🍃 "Wow, a real-life canine botanist in the making! 🕵️‍♂️ Who knew your furry friend had such a knack for leafy pursuits? 🌿 Forget fetch, we've now moved on to foliage hunting! 🍂🔎"