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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇫 has viewed:

For this Halloween I’ve trained my eyebrows to leap off my face and destroy those who’ve angered me.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has viewed:

I modeled my morning routine on the humble rooster. Wake up, scream, wander around.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has bookmarked:

My body is like an elastic band – no matter how I stretch it, it goes back to the nap position.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has downloaded:

That one person who has zero concept of what an indoor voice is.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has shared:

I asked Tom Hanks for his autograph, but all he wrote was thanks.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has viewed:

God: “You’re all really bad at this.”

Someone from 🇧🇪 has downloaded:

When life gives you lemons, take the lemons. They were a gift. Maybe life thought you liked lemons. Did you think about that? No, you’re always thinking about yourself.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has shared:

Since I started following the wisdom of ancient Chinese philosopher Fuk Yu, my life has been so much better…

Someone from 🇰🇬 has viewed:

Acting jealous while secretly cheating is a pure talent of witchcraft.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has viewed:

I bought all this healthy food at the grocery store today and now I’m trying to decide if I want Chinese food or pizza delivered for dinner tonight.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2326 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,488

Funny Quotes Topics

15,192

Funny Quotes Images

12,488

Updated

22 minutes ago

Users Online

3,463

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on TikTok:

Spent most of the day making sure the couch still works. So far so good.

Spotted on Telegram:

I am awake and ready to be disappointed.

Going viral on Pinterest:

All the things I like to do are either immoral, illegal, or fattening.

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

Waitress: “Do you have any questions about the menu?” Me: “What kind of font is this?

Shared recently on X:

I eat my first meal of the day in the afternoon, bro. Don’t ask me for advice.

Shared recently on Instagram:

I’m proud to announce that am winning my fight against sobriety.

Reported on YouTube:

I don’t understand why bugs come inside when they have a whole outside to themselves.

Seen just now on Reddit:

The Cranberries. Great band name. You pick a fruit and you get to work.

Broadcasted on Slack:

If you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything at all: I watched Rebel Moon 2 and the Netflix app worked well. Showed me the entire movie. In color.

Reported on WeChat:

I know it hurts like hell, and you don’t think you can do it, but it’s just one push-up.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

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Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2326 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,488

Funny Quotes Topics

15,192

Funny Quotes Images

12,488

Updated

22 minutes ago

Users Online

3,450

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇱 has downloaded:

I don’t want to brag or anything, but I can still fit in the earrings I wore in high school.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has shared:

Coffee ain’t cutting it anymore. I need to eat batteries.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has viewed:

Prophecy class has been cancelled due to unforeseen circumstances.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has shared:

Sometimes my body needs to be punished by Taco Bell.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has bookmarked:

“Date” is just another word for: Jeez, had I known that before, I would have stayed home.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has copied:

Her heart is a combination of wildflowers and wildfires, delicate, yet so fierce.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has shared:

It’s important to remember that even parents make mistakes. In fact, it’s how many of us became parents.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has downloaded:

I was going to warn my kids about the repercussions of drugs and alcohol until I realized that they in fact were the repercussions of drugs and alcohol.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has bookmarked:

The way that we’re constantly told not to eat silica gel makes me suspect that it contains all the world’s forbidden knowledge.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has bookmarked:

Shaved my bush and went down a pants size.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via WeChat:

It used be called “talking to yourself” but the new term for it is “podcasting”.

Trending via WeChat:

There is nothing worse in life than calling customer service and hearing an Indian accent.

Shared recently on WeChat:

Cats hear everything. They just don’t care.

Going viral on X:

Why do these women want to date Pete Davidson, a funny movie star, and not me, a guy who is whining?

Seen just now on X:

You never realize how long a minute is until you’re doing cardio.

Making waves on Facebook:

Sitting on the middle seat of this flight and both my seatmates are reading my book over my shoulder. Should I just start reading it aloud?

Trending via Messenger:

It’s beginning to cost a lot like Christmas.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

I’m ugly but I can make u laugh.

Live now on LinkedIn:

How are they running out of oxygen if they’re breathing it right back into the submarine?

Making waves on LinkedIn:

That awkward moment when you’re about to leave work and your boss says “before you go”.

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