Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇳 has copied:

I wish I was a cat. No bills, no job, just meow, meow.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has viewed:

Note to self: Very important! First hang up, then insult.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has bookmarked:

Sending messages is easy. Living with them forever is the hard part.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has copied:

Sometimes uncontrollable laughter is all you need to get the millions of thoughts out of your head.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has viewed:

I’m awake and working. Please respect my privacy during these trying and emotional times.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has bookmarked:

The gap in my resume is because I was trying to reach enlightenment for 5 years.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has viewed:

There should be a special rating system for movies that tells you how uncomfortable you’ll be if you watch them with your parents.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has copied:

I hate when I get ready too quickly and have to sit on the couch, fully dressed, and wait like an idiot.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has viewed:

At my size, I’d be called Buffet the Vampire Slayer.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has downloaded:

I just sneezed into my elbow and now I’m waiting for a preschool teacher to praise me.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Jan 31, 2026

Users Online

3,488

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

The more you weigh, the harder you are to kidnap. Stay safe, Eat cake.

Breaking via YouTube:

No thanks, I’m already in a committed relationship with reading.

Spreading quickly via Slack:

If you’re ever intimidated by someone just imagine them opening a Capri Sun.

Seen just now on Slack:

You should be able to call in sad to work.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

This is the fastest December in the history of all December.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Winter hack: Avoid the cold by never leaving your house.

Just shared via Telegram:

Everyone has these three colleagues: The one who is always cold. The one who is always hungry. The one who is always tired. I am everything in one.

Trending via Twitch:

This chapter of my life is called “Ummm, okay, I guess whatever.”

Going bananas on Discord:

Accidentally punched myself in the face as I was getting dressed this morning, and I have to say, I deserved it.

Freshly posted on Discord:

Please pray for my husband, he’s struggling to find me.

Funny double rainbow quotes

New funny double rainbow quotes 👇

All funny double rainbow quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections
✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

19 shares on Threads this month:

The algorithm knows about that thing you like that you’re denying yourself of.

44 shares on TikTok this month:

Once I see a vein on your forehead while we arguing, I’ll let you be.

87 shares on Twitch this month:

I think we just need to accept that the 90’s was our peak as a species.

74 shares on Facebook this month:

Sometimes I just stand in the sun and stare at nothing, like a dog.

70 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Kids today will never understand how many ninjas there were in the 1980s.

44 shares on TikTok this month:

Roses are red. Let’s get some fresh air. Make love in the moonlight. Have a pregnancy scare.

72 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Adulthood is just always being tired and wondering how you hurt your back.

43 shares on Reddit this month:

None of the Instagram story fonts represent me.

69 shares on Threads this month:

When they ask “how was your weekend?” answer “better than yours” and maintain eye contact.

49 shares on Threads this month:

Just got my steps in by avoiding someone I know.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

19 folks are currently checking 👀

The second half of your life begins when you stop wanting to get even and start wanting to get odd.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

I have high standards for dating because I’m a high-quality woman, and you wouldn’t want me any other way.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m not deleting my Twitter, I was here before Elon.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

There should be a three-day weekend: one day to do nothing, one day to do something, and one day to do laundry.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

I know my limits. I don’t always obey them, but I know them.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

I set up my Nativity scene, but since baby Jesus hasn’t arrived yet, Mary, Joseph and all the Wise Men are just looking down at their phones.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

I’ve never met a cake I didn’t want to fork.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

You’re in his DMs, I’m outside his window with a JBL speaker streaming Taylor Swift.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Not a gold digger, but the other night a woman told me her grandpa owns a Christmas tree farm. That shit had me rubbing my hands like a fly.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

I was so excited thinking tomorrow was Friday only to find out it is definitely not Friday.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Jan 31, 2026

Users Online

3,369

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇿🇼 has downloaded:

“There are no words in the English language that have all the vowels in alphabetical order,” he said facetiously.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has downloaded:

When your kids embarrass you in public, the only way out is to turn away in disgust and mutter loudly, “Who raised you?”

Someone from 🇰🇳 has copied:

Social media may have been a mistake.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has viewed:

The subtle art of surviving this life with grace and dignity.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has viewed:

TVs are like, literally, the only thing that has gotten cheaper as I’ve gotten older.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has bookmarked:

Call me dramatic, but I think I deserve a love confession in the rain.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has viewed:

Sorry I’m late, there was bubble wrap.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has shared:

Holding it together with duct tape and sarcasm.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has bookmarked:

I love when my cat sighs at me, like what’s got you stressed out my little freeloading homicidal maniac!?

Someone from 🇧🇩 has copied:

This meeting could have been an oil painting.

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Discord:

Can’t believe, as a kid, I thought 21-year-olds had their lives figured out.

Spotted on Instagram:

You can’t scare me; you’re not my credit card bill.

Just landed via Snapchat:

Stop blaming everyone for all of your problems. Pick the one person you really hate and blame them for everything.

Trending via Messenger:

Where do they get the seeds to plant seedless watermelons?

Trending via Threads:

Boss: Why do I have to always come and find you? Me: Because a good employee is hard to find.

Shared recently on X:

To steal from one is plagiarism, to steal from many is research.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Watermelon. The fruit that comes with a workout.

Trending via Instagram:

Tonight, the moon is staring at me.

Making waves on Facebook:

I survived a Monday, and for what? Tuesday? Disgusting.

Just shared via Slack:

I don’t hide from my problems, I just ignore them until they lose interest.

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