Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇧 has downloaded:

Human interaction is a great way to learn all the new swear words your subconscious mind has come up with in the lab.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has viewed:

A good man is hard to find, but a babysitter for Friday night is harder.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has shared:

You didn’t let me know you got home safely so you better at least be injured or I’m gonna be pissed.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has copied:

“You are what you eat”. I don’t remember eating a huge disappointment.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has copied:

Only DM me if you like disappointment.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has bookmarked:

The first Humans saw the sun go up and then back down, and so they decided to call it a day.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has copied:

I like how the Tooth Fairy got the job, and then subbed it out to everyone’s parents. That’s called “business savvy.”

Someone from 🇳🇿 has shared:

Biting your tongue while eating is a perfect example of how you can still screw up, even with decades of experience.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has shared:

Revenge? No. I just post hot selfies and let the algorithm do God’s work.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has shared:

Remember when you could lay in one position for hours, now you have to rotate like a rotisserie chicken every 15 minutes or a hip hurts.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,617

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on YouTube:

Women pretending not to see men staring at them is an essential survival skill.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

We must all do our part for the planet. The other day I unplugged a row of electric cars nobody was using.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

Having a crush as an adult is soooo embarrassing. I’m literally too old for this. I’m gonna learn how to forge a sword.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Called in, “If we’re living in a simulation, just simulate that I’m in the office today.”

Just shared via YouTube:

Got kicked out of reincarnation club for yelling yolo.

Spotted on Pinterest:

Drivers seem to underestimate how willing I am to get knocked down at a zebra crossing to prove a point.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

I hate when I’m trying to spell a word, and my phone can’t do it either.

Just landed via Telegram:

You didn’t let me know you got home safely so you better at least be injured or I’m gonna be pissed.

Just shared via Snapchat:

By the time I remember to text back, it be too disrespectful to even do it.

Going viral on Pinterest:

I don’t hate you, but I hope you run out of hot water before you’re finished your shower.

Funny eating alone quotes

New funny eating alone quotes 👇

You are depressed because your ancestors fought, danced, and ate meals together, and you eat alone in the dark while staring at a glowing rectangle.

0

2 months ago

alone, ancestor, ancestors, dance, dark, darkness, depressed, depression, eat, eating, eating alone, fight, glowing, glowing rectangle, loneliness, meal, meals, rectangle, staring, technology, together, while

All funny eating alone quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

19 shares on Threads this month:

Most people prefer lies. The truth just hits them like a WiFi outage, and then they just stand there, confused and buffering.

45 shares on Reddit this month:

I’m trying to shower you with affection. It doesn’t matter how I got into your bathroom.

99 shares on Instagram this month:

I just looked over at my new shoes and the box says “vegan”. I’ve never had to feed my other shoes before.

45 shares on Pinterest this month:

I’m bringing back “hold your horses” and nobody can stop me.

31 shares on Twitch this month:

The main problem is that far too many people have far too easy access to podcast equipment.

58 shares on TikTok this month:

“Why are you so quiet?” Because I’m barely even here.

49 shares on Instagram this month:

I downloaded a meditation app. Now I’m stressed about missing sessions.

27 shares on YouTube this month:

Having a good heart has done nothing but made me look stupid.

73 shares on WhatsApp this month:

In England “booster shot” is spelled “borchestershire shot”.

13 shares on Twitch this month:

Sorry I’m late. My catapult malfunctioned.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇰 has viewed:

At my age, I’m more frightened of a hip break than a heartbreak.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has copied:

Before they perfected the Q-tip, you have to wonder what kinds of horrific things went wrong with tips A-P.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has bookmarked:

Unfortunately, the movie you want to watch is unavailable on your 13 streaming services. You can rent it for $2.99 though.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has shared:

Get off the apps. Sleep with someone in your friend group. Add an awkward tension every time you hang out with them.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has downloaded:

My reality check bounced, guess I’ll have to stay insane for the time being.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has shared:

I always do my best sleeping in the 10 minutes before my alarm goes off.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has viewed:

I found my first grey pubic hair today, but I didn’t freak out; unlike everyone else in the Zoom meeting.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has copied:

I don’t know if I’m pregnant or what, but I’ve been craving 3 million dollars so bad.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has downloaded:

If your family starts fighting on Thanksgiving, go live.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has bookmarked:

Home: Where I can look ugly and not care.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Snapchat:

Judging by the hair on my couch, I’m surprised I have any cat left at all.

Going viral on Threads:

I feel sorry for dogs. They learnt to fetch newspapers, but newspapers are dying. Killed by an internet driven by cats.

Just shared via Threads:

If I could turn water into wine, I’d have lots of followers too.

Spotted on Facebook:

You know when a donkey followed Shrek home and just kept talking? That’s what it’s like having kids.

Just landed via Instagram:

There are 8 billion people in the world and I only have 3 friends, and one is annoying.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Hey, wanna intertwine delusions and make them a reality or nah?

Just landed via LinkedIn:

l identify as a Christmas tree. Lit on the outside, dead on the inside.

Going viral on Snapchat:

I’m an optimist and i understand how annoying that is.

Just landed via Twitch:

I want to clarify that what I publish on social media does not define me as a person; I am worse.

Just landed via Messenger:

We’re in the middle of a snowstorm with no cake in the house. I never expected to perish like this.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Funny eating alone quotes

New funny eating alone quotes 👇

You are depressed because your ancestors fought, danced, and ate meals together, and you eat alone in the dark while staring at a glowing rectangle.

All funny eating alone quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨