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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇧 has copied:

Don’t blame the alcohol. You were an idiot before you started drinking.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has copied:

Venmo is my favorite social media site. I love to see my boy John charge his wife for Martinis.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has downloaded:

There are people who leave comments on porn videos.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has downloaded:

My first rodeo and my last rodeo were the same rodeo.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has viewed:

Stop worrying about being weird and start being weirder.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has viewed:

I’ll find a cell mate before I’ll ever find a soulmate.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has bookmarked:

I just sneezed into my elbow and now I’m waiting for a preschool teacher to praise me.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has shared:

Unless I ask, I genuinely don’t care to hear other people’s opinions on my life. It’s almost a pet peeve, really.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has bookmarked:

The worst part of a fender bender is having to get out of your car and meet a new person.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has shared:

My bank assures me my money is safe with them, yet they keep their pens chained to desks and most of them are missing.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

242 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,511

Funny Quotes Topics

17,578

Funny Quotes Images

15,511

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,454

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Threads:

No thanks, I’m already in a committed relationship with reading.

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

My biggest sexual fantasy is someone throwing a million dollars on my naked body and then leaving me alone.

Spotted on Pinterest:

Please try to schedule meetings around my need for attention.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

Resting bitch face saves me from so many conversations I don’t want to be part of.

Just landed via Instagram:

Is it still murder if they said, “Some other time,” but I thought they said smother time?

Trending via Twitch:

Someone yelled “hey, retard!” and I looked back.

Spotted on X:

I hate when I finish a show and don’t know what to do with my life.

Seen just now on Telegram:

Ever ghost an entire event to avoid one ghost from your past?

Freshly posted on X:

Mixed signals mean they don’t like you like that. It’s that simple.

Just shared via YouTube:

And where did Mr. Pepper receive his degree from exactly?

Funny euthanasia quotes

New funny euthanasia quotes 👇

Euthanizing my Tamagotchi.

0

3 months ago

childhood, digital, digital toy, euthanasia, humor, pet, Tamagotchi, toy, virtual, virtual pet

Someone from 🇸🇷 has recently bookmarked this quote.

88 shares on Snapchat this month.

All funny euthanasia quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

94 shares on Reddit this month:

You ever go to a baseball game and hear a guy yelling, “hot dogs! hot dogs!” over and over again? That’s me, looking for hot dogs.

15 shares on Telegram this month:

If David Bowie taught us anything, it’s that being a little weird is better than being forgettable.

87 shares on X this month:

Obsessed with how Siri just doesn’t work at all, ever.

12 shares on WhatsApp this month:

The 10 minutes I spend on my mobile before I go to sleep are the best 3 hours of my day.

27 shares on Facebook this month:

Please don’t leave me to my own devices. They’re all out of batteries.

55 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Being an adult is crazy. Because what the hell is going on?

38 shares on Twitch this month:

I wish men had sluttier outfit options. Because why am I in a mini skirt, and you’re in a quarter zip?

98 shares on Snapchat this month:

Being a parent means hearing a noise at 3 a.m. and hoping it’s just a ghost and not your toddler getting up again.

98 shares on Reddit this month:

Do you ever find yourself just thinkin’ about bread?

68 shares on Snapchat this month:

Being a writer means knowing exactly how your story ends, and having absolutely no idea how to get there.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇺 has shared:

I’m not shy, I’m holding back my awesomeness so I don’t intimidate you.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has shared:

Can we call situationships ‘affairs’ again? It sounds more adult and less desperate.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has downloaded:

Why do babies stare at you like they know you from somewhere?

Someone from 🇳🇴 has shared:

“Your boos mean nothing to me. I’ve seen what you cheer.” Is a goated doctrine. If Rick and Morty gave us anything, it gave us that.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has copied:

If anyone has any experience with anything or knows anything about something, please let me know.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has shared:

Reading Shakespeare for the first time is crazy because you go, “Oh, that’s where that comes from,” every other page.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has downloaded:

I wonder how long you could drive in a roundabout before a cop would be like, hey, you can’t do that anymore.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has shared:

Dog barking like an angry baby, baby crying like an angry dog.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has downloaded:

At this point, if you buy Tesla, everyone is just going to assume you are a loser.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has bookmarked:

All my favorite activities involve a mattress.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Facebook:

This gum has my stomach convinced food is coming.

Trending via Instagram:

Experts say you can make any statement sound more credible by adding ‘experts say’ at the beginning.

Shared recently on Telegram:

Comments other people make during a movie are annoying. Comments I make during a movie enhance the experience.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

I know I just ate a snack, but I could really use a snack.

Seen just now on X:

Shoutout to all ladies dating silently without making noise on social media. May God give you another man as a bonus.

Live now on Threads:

Female dragonflies will fake their own deaths to avoid mating with unwanted males. They are like, “Ugh, here comes Carl again. Play dead, girl!“

Trending via Reddit:

As I get older, I’m understanding why everything needs to be done before 12 p.m.

Trending via Facebook:

I was dismayed to hear the story of Rumpelstiltskin. I had no idea he was like that outside of work.

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

Major cheat code in life: ask for the big, unreasonable thing. The universe meets you at your level of audacity.

Going viral on Instagram:

Dear diary, I have to lock in tomorrow, fix everything, and do everything.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Funny euthanasia quotes

New funny euthanasia quotes 👇

Euthanizing my Tamagotchi.

All funny euthanasia quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨