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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇺🇸 has shared:

I can admit that I am intrigued by people weirder than I am.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has viewed:

After having a week off, my boss returns to work today. Please respect my privacy during this difficult time.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has copied:

People in 1999 were using the Internet as an escape from reality. People today are using reality as an escape from the Internet.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has downloaded:

I aspire to be a stay-at-home mom with no kids.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has copied:

Making art is making love to the world.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has copied:

I’m going to die from jealousy one day.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has bookmarked:

My morning routine includes 20 minutes of staring at the ceiling thinking about how tired I am and debating if I really need to live today.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has copied:

I’m often mistaken for an adult because of my age.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has shared:

What if the universe wasn’t infinite or finite, but a secret third thing?

Someone from 🇲🇻 has shared:

Actually, no one sees you at your worst like your coworkers do.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 19, 2026

Users Online

3,299

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Threads:

Just because it’s a bad idea doesn’t mean that it ain’t gonna be a hell of a lot of fun.

Going viral on YouTube:

Headless mannequins are great because they let you see how you’ll look wearing a new shirt after you’ve been decapitated.

Just landed via WeChat:

Googling symptoms until you cry.

Just shared via Facebook:

No open job postings for “Warrior Poet” found in your area. Please try another search.

Just landed via Messenger:

In all the movies, Santa never goes to the house directly next door. He always gets in his sleigh and flies off like 20 miles east.

Live now on Pinterest:

I was gonna get on the treadmill, but then the couch will get sad.

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

If I had a dollar for every time someone called me fat, I’d probably just spend it on more bacon.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

If you think my posts are ridiculous, you should see some of my life choices.

Broadcasted on Facebook:

I love to sleep, I wish I could get paid to sleep.

Seen just now on YouTube:

My therapist said this to me, and it hit me like a brick: “They’re not your friends if they disagree with you or try to challenge you.”

41 Funny excited quotes

More funny excited quotes 👇

Is it just me, or does anybody else get excited about cancelling plans?

3 months ago

anxiety, cancelling, cancelling plan, excited, excitement, free, free time, introvert, just, me, personal, personal time, plan, plans, self-care, social, social anxiety, time

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Social Media Stars ⭐

10 shares on Instagram this month:

“I’m gonna sneak past you.” No you’re not. You’ve alerted me.

86 shares on Instagram this month:

Having a sunburn is so humiliating. Now everyone knows I was unprepared for the realities of the wilderness. It marks me as the weakest link. The hungry animals are closing in.

25 shares on LinkedIn this month:

May the hardest part of your day be getting the jeans over your butt.

18 shares on Instagram this month:

It’s not even a crush. it’s just unsupervised hope.

78 shares on Instagram this month:

How do I tell someone respectfully to die in a fire?

26 shares on WeChat this month:

If it turns cold one more time, I’m gonna put the Christmas tree back up.

37 shares on Pinterest this month:

She said she liked animals but apparently all the fruit flies around my apartment was a “turn off”

52 shares on Discord this month:

People text “Happy New Year” and go missing for the rest of the year!

40 shares on Twitch this month:

When younger I would walk up to the counter and the bartender would know me by name. Now it’s my pharmacist.

34 shares on TikTok this month:

My doctor told me to eat more Taco Bell. Well, he actually said “less McDonald’s”, but I’m pretty sure I know what he meant.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇰 has shared:

Suffering from a forehead kisses deficiency (self-diagnosed).

Someone from 🇪🇸 has copied:

We need to stop making more Christmas music. We have enough.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has bookmarked:

I don’t have a favorite vampire. If you ask me, they all suck.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has shared:

Fun like a LinkedIn notification.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has copied:

Going to hack Kanye’s account and make him post something normal.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has shared:

Home is where you can look ugly and enjoy it.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has viewed:

I love ketchup from my head to-ma-toes.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has downloaded:

The single star on Texas’ flag is actually a review.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has downloaded:

Maybe in another universe, I punched him in the face instead of staying quiet.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has downloaded:

No one talks about the resentment you have towards yourself after you didn’t listen to your gut.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Messenger:

If you start liking someone, just block them. Follow me for more relationship advice.

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

Spotify Wrapped, but for all your bad decisions this year.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

I miss when The Weeknd made haunted strip club music. Didn’t know how good I had it.

Trending via Snapchat:

I absolutely loooooove getting in the bed. The excitement of finally laying down? Unmatched.

Going viral on Facebook:

The cool thing about Twitter is you’re never the craziest one.

Trending via Discord:

When I’m at a party, I pretend to be Pac-Man. I eat everything and run away from anyone coming close to me.

Going viral on Telegram:

Welcome to your 40’s: you have big plans tonight. No, you don’t.

Live now on Discord:

What idiot called it Catfishing your Tinder Contacts and not Playing With Matches?

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Growing up, I always knew I was gonna be the distant family member.

Shared recently on Reddit:

I’m not going to die because of an accident. Nor because of an illness. But from small talk. Someone will say one boring sentence too many and I’ll drop dead.

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Activity Log ✨

41 Funny excited quotes

More funny excited quotes 👇

Is it just me, or does anybody else get excited about cancelling plans?

All funny excited quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

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