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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇷🇸 has shared:

Your secret is safe with me and my sister.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has copied:

Coffee ain’t cutting it anymore. I need to eat batteries.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has downloaded:

I’m willing to do anything for a job except write a cover letter.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has shared:

Keep your fries close and your onion rings closer.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has shared:

I should’ve been an air conditioner because all I do is vent.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has bookmarked:

She poured the milk before the cereal. It was not meant to be.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has viewed:

Whoever said “out of sight, out of mind” never had a spider disappear inside their tent.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has shared:

Worst part of a corporate job is no tips. Someone should slip you a $20 if you write a killer email.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has downloaded:

I would rather walk directly into the ocean than tell people a fun fact about myself.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has viewed:

You wish you had this many chins.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

[monthly_post_count]

Funny Quotes Total

14,554

Funny Quotes Topics

16,782

Funny Quotes Images

14,554

Nov 27, 2025

3,847

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Pinterest:

These quiet electric cars are really annoying. I have to stop scrolling and look up while walking outside now.

Shared recently on Facebook:

I didn’t ghost you, I saved you from me.

Making waves on Messenger:

When I was in elementary school, we learned about a shape called a rhombus, and that was the last time I ever heard about that shape ever again.

Broadcasted on TikTok:

Losing jewelry is a different type of hurt.

Making waves on Facebook:

I’m only here to test your patience, but like, in a sexy way.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

I’m tired of commercials trying to be funny. Scare me into buying something. I want to be terrified of buying the wrong toothpaste.

Breaking via Pinterest:

I’m not saving daylight. I’m the one that needs saving.

Seen just now on Discord:

Studies show that sleepwalking has decreased among Americans over the last 10 years. Typical lazy Americans.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Yes, money alone does not make you happy. It has to be yours too.

Making waves on Telegram:

Discord is only good for calling friends on the computer. Please do not waste your time getting caught up in random servers.

Home » Funny Excuse Me Quotes

Funny excuse me quotes

New funny excuse me quotes 👇

2 weeks ago

Commentary:
Lost on my way to logic, ended up here instead! 🤪🧭✨

direct, direction, excuse, excuse me, funny request, humor, me, nonsense, request
1 month ago

Commentary:
I always say "Excuse me," so the cat doesn't report me for trespassing in my own house! 😹🚪

excuse, excuse me, humor, manners, me, owner, pet, pet owner, politeness, rude, say, walk, walking, walking by

All funny excuse me quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

[monthly_post_count]

Funny Quotes Total

14,554

Funny Quotes Topics

16,782

Funny Quotes Images

14,554

Nov 27, 2025

4,002

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇷🇺 has viewed:

When you decorate your whole house for Christmas, what you’re really saying is “I’m not going to dust for at least a month.”

Someone from 🇹🇴 has downloaded:

Loving her was my second biggest mistake. Not buying Bitcoins in 2010 still remains the first.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has viewed:

Overthinking should at least burn calories.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has viewed:

“My reading glasses would look good on your nightstand.” -Me, flirting.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has viewed:

By the time my CVS receipt finished printing, I was eligible for another prescription refill.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has shared:

Best lie you heard was eat all your food so you can be big and strong. Now look at you. Just big.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has copied:

Adult life sucks. Friends don’t even ask to see how fast you can run in your new shoes anymore.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has bookmarked:

Girls with long hair will literally leave little traces of themselves wherever they go, like feathers falling from an angel’s wings.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has viewed:

My friends put their kid to bed and then made us ice cream sundaes, which is exactly what I assumed was happening when my parents put me to bed.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has copied:

If you wanna make someone cry, just show them the earliest year they can retire.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Reddit:

One man’s worst nightmare (me) is another man’s peace (also me).

Live now on Threads:

I’m having a bad day. Please send super-cute pics of your credit cards to cheer me up.

Going viral on Reddit:

“We will go ahead and make these changes if we don’t hear from you before Friday” is such an elegant way to solve problems.

Freshly posted on X:

have one of those big paintings with the eyeholes cut out, but I don’t have anyone to spy on, so I just watch TV through it.

Going bananas on Facebook:

Turns out “YouTube rabbit hole” is not a reliable science degree.

Trending via Discord:

Twitter is the only place you argue with CEOs and heads of states while sleeping in the kitchen.

Making waves on Twitch:

I’ve heard that some people have kids who sleep through the night and I’d like to know if they use tranquilizers or chloroform.

Seen just now on Instagram:

The only downside to dating hot men is that when it ends, he’s still hot.

Spotted on Threads:

If I let you into my life, I am either emotionally invested or you are a grilled cheese sandwich.

Just landed via Reddit:

I don’t really do one-night stands, but I will do, like, 3-8 months of a semi-toxic, undefined relationship that wastes my time and ruins my life.

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