Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇶 has viewed:

Did it hurt, when my ice cream outlasted yours?

Someone from 🇵🇰 has shared:

My spirit animal is chasing his own tail.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has downloaded:

“Is this a joke to you?” Unfortunately, everything is a little bit of a joke to me.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has downloaded:

Ok, hear me out: a reality show where billionaire CEOs have to live off of their lowest-paid employees’ salaries for a month.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has shared:

Music just makes living on this earth a little bit more bearable.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has shared:

Unfortunately, when you don’t burden people with your problems, they assume you don’t have any. Lol.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has bookmarked:

People who can’t tell the difference between whole numbers and decimals are missing the point.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has shared:

Nice tweets, bro. What medications are you on?

Someone from 🇵🇾 has copied:

8 planets, 204 countries, thousands of islands, 7 seas, 8 billion people, and I’m single.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has downloaded:

This is your sign to cancel all work meetings today.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,686

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Twitch:

I’m okay with being single. But at night, while I’m drunk, that’s too much.

Going viral on Reddit:

If Dracula had a cat, she’d be the one sleeping in the coffin.

Shared recently on TikTok:

Play the long game? You mean Monopoly?

Shared recently on Slack:

I would like to see the USA go metric before I die, just so I can enjoy the outrage that would follow.

Spotted on TikTok:

Life is way too short to pretend you’re not into some freaky stuff.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

I lied. There’s no sex. Can you help me put this fitted sheet on my mattress?

Going viral on Discord:

Someone taking your parking space at your own home is a different type of anger.

Just landed via Reddit:

If I was on Love Island, I wouldn’t be fighting anyone or starting drama. I would just be playing mermaids in the pool the whole time. They’ve got that giant, beautiful pool, and nobody’s using it.

Spotted on YouTube:

Women will be like “I know a spot,” and then take you directly to hell.

Just landed via Snapchat:

70% of marriage is yelling “What” from a different room.

Funny excuse me quotes

New funny excuse me quotes 👇

Excuse me, can you direct me to the nonsense?

4 weeks ago

direct, direction, excuse, excuse me, funny request, humor, me, nonsense, request
Do you say “Excuse me” to your pet when you walk by them, or are you rude?

1 month ago

excuse, excuse me, humor, manners, me, owner, pet, pet owner, politeness, rude, say, walk, walking, walking by

All funny excuse me quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

28 shares on Twitch this month:

Winter hack: Avoid the cold by never leaving your house.

50 shares on Messenger this month:

According to the amount of bacon I just cooked, I’m 4 people.

30 shares on Discord this month:

Be the reason someone spits out their drink today.

66 shares on Telegram this month:

Don’t ever forget where you came from. That’s where you left your car.

10 shares on Pinterest this month:

Relationship status: my sex robot filed a restraining order.

40 shares on WeChat this month:

Whenever I’m willing to sell my soul, there’s usually food involved.

16 shares on YouTube this month:

If you were the birthday gift I bought my wife some months ago, where would you be hiding?

96 shares on Messenger this month:

I take offense when people don’t invite me to events l’d like to turn down.

79 shares on Telegram this month:

Hugging helps break the tension with strangers in elevators.

24 shares on Pinterest this month:

So proud of my ancestors for crawling out of the sea and evolving lungs. Pretty disappointed in them ever since though.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇾 has copied:

Thanks for your email! Unfortunately, I have filled my pockets with stones and am making my way to the sea.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has viewed:

Intermittent fasting is how I drive, not how I eat.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has viewed:

Sorry for acting weird, I am weird, and it will happen again.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has shared:

Worst feeling in the world is when you are loyal to all your girlfriends but your favorite one is cheating on you.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has downloaded:

Boobs always win. That’s why we don’t play rock, paper, boobs.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has bookmarked:

Not now, honey. I’m talking to strangers on the internet.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has downloaded:

Relationships are actually easy when you’re not dating a lying weirdo.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has bookmarked:

Some people don’t have a permanent handwriting. It depends on their mood and the pen they use.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has copied:

I love all mythical creatures. Vampires, werewolves, unicorns, kids who listen.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has shared:

Think I’ll get high enough to find out if there’s a God. Stay tuned.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via LinkedIn:

The only way the climate is going to change is if it first admits it has a problem, there’s really nothing we can do.

Spotted on Discord:

There are TV shows that only exist on the screens of girls’ houses you go to one time and never again.

Going viral on Twitch:

I hope the coffee hits harder than reality does.

Shared recently on Threads:

Why is smoking the only addiction jobs give you breaks to do? I should get 15 minutes every hour to cook up some parlays.

Breaking via Twitch:

My toxic trait is thinking I can nap, then waking up 3 hours later in a parallel universe where I missed everything.

Spotted on Twitch:

“Work smarter, not harder.” Brother, I’m not doing either of those things.

Just shared via Discord:

Whenever I see an athlete eating quark, I get sad, because the quark could have been turned into cheesecake.

Live now on Instagram:

Emotions? No thanks. I’m trying to cut down.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Women always want to marry intelligent men. What they don’t know: Intelligent men don’t want to marry.

Making waves on Pinterest:

No, thanks—social drama. Puberty sucked enough the first time around.

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Activity Log ✨

Funny excuse me quotes

New funny excuse me quotes 👇

Excuse me, can you direct me to the nonsense?

Do you say “Excuse me” to your pet when you walk by them, or are you rude?

All funny excuse me quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨