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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇪 has viewed:

Every morning I announce that Im going for a jog, but then I don’t go. It’s a running gag.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has bookmarked:

Men, it’s really simple. We want everything, but nothing, at the same time or different times, sometimes but not always.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has copied:

Millennials are just 30-40-year-olds who look 20-30 years old and feel 80-90 years old.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has viewed:

Beginning to understand why deer throw themselves in front of cars.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has viewed:

The quickest way to double your money is to hold it in front of a mirror.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has copied:

Given the amount of clowns around here, you’d think it would be more entertaining.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has copied:

I’m at the age where any time my mom asks if I remember so-and-so from high school, the news is never good.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has viewed:

Just bought 4 pounds of cherries like I’m in some math problem.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has downloaded:

My biggest fear is waking up and being in the Renaissance era or something. Imagine having the knowledge of hot dogs but lacking the tools to make them.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has shared:

Getting old would be so fun if you didn’t wake up each morning with neck pain that suggests you slept hanging upside down like a bat.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

784 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,946

Funny Quotes Topics

13,917

Funny Quotes Images

10,946

27 minutes ago

3,421

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Facebook:

I’m sorry I didn’t text you back. I’m really busy watching the The Lord of The Rings in the form of mini clips on TikTok.

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

Only a couple more days until I come home and pretend I forgot about Valentine’s Day.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

You should be able to mute someone in real life. Annoying coworker? Silence them for 24 hours by booping them on the nose!

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

To cut the long story short, I have spent all my money.

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

I wish I was mysterious, but unfortunately I just can’t keep my mouth shut.

Seen just now on X:

Too bad mosquitos are not into human fat the way they are into human blood.

Shared recently on Telegram:

If you can’t laugh at yourself, I will.

Trending via X:

Don’t forget to tell yourself more lies today.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

We don’t make people walk the plank like we used to.

Just landed via Telegram:

The cashier said, “Have a good day,” but she doesn’t mean it.

Home » Funny Father’s Day Quotes

Funny Father’s Day quotes

New funny Father’s Day quotes 👇

6 months ago
Share →: It’s exciting to receive a Valentine’s Day card and not know who it’s from. A Father’s Day card, not so much.

Commentary:
"Receiving a mystery Valentine's Day card is like a romantic game of Clue 🕵️‍♀️: 'Was it Cupid in the garden with an arrow?' But a mystery Father's Day card just raises questions like 'Wait, who's my real dad?' 🤔🃏"

For even more funny Father’s Day quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny Father’s Day quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

784 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,946

Funny Quotes Topics

13,917

Funny Quotes Images

10,946

27 minutes ago

3,446

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇪 has viewed:

Getting older is realizing how great doing nothing is.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has bookmarked:

I believe my ex-wife is days away from having a nuclear weapon.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has downloaded:

Writing is so fun because you get to google things like “woman names”.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has downloaded:

Just spoke to my wife while the internet was down. She seems nice. She’s a nurse apparently.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has downloaded:

A general rule of parenting: if you’re having a great day, the day isn’t old enough yet.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has shared:

Counting calories is a great way to combine super fun things like math and not eating.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has shared:

“I thought it might be nice to go round the room and say a bit about ourselves.” Oh dear, you thought wrong.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has bookmarked:

Automated phone system: To speak to a representative, please enter the last twelve digits of Pi.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has viewed:

If you can’t handle me at my worst just imagine how I feel.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has bookmarked:

I’ve had 50 birthdays in a row without being arrested, which I’d say is an impressive streak!

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Reddit:

Hate how quietly iPhones die. At 5% it should start verbally begging for its life.

Shared recently on Reddit:

Why are fish the only thing you can monger? Let me monger some other stuff.

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

My plans for today? Same as always: drink coffee and be sexy.

Reported on Facebook:

After careful consideration, I think I’d have way more fun if I was incredibly stupid.

Live now on Slack:

80 percent of my life now is just “hmmmm… should I bring my jacket or not?”

Freshly posted on YouTube:

I’m the ick in fantastic.

Going viral on Reddit:

Shout-out to my embarrassingly squeaky ass bed frame that makes me sound more popular than I actually am to my neighbors.

Just shared via WeChat:

Why do chefs always have to cut everything so fast? It’s just an onion man, why don’t you relax?

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Once you realize I’m an idiot, my posts start to make a lot more sense.

Making waves on Slack:

If swimming is such good exercise, explain whales.

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