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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇬 has viewed:

I suffer from that syndrome where your neutral expression makes it look like you’re an angry serial killer.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has downloaded:

My wife asked me to put ketchup on the shopping list that I was making, and now, I can’t read anything.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has bookmarked:

I refuse to take a single bite of my food until I find something good on TV.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has copied:

Downloading the Titanic soundtrack. It’s syncing right now.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has copied:

I nearly broke my toe because the coffee table didn’t look where it was going.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has bookmarked:

If you need time alone, just announce that you need help cleaning the cats litter box.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has viewed:

You misunderstood me. I said I was a “bawler,” not a “baller.” You know, someone who cries a lot.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has copied:

Grammar is the difference between knowing your shit and knowing you’re shit.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has downloaded:

If you see my account doing wild or out-of-character things, no worries. It’s not me, I routinely rent it out as an Airbnb.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has copied:

Too many toilets have automatically flushed underneath me for me not to have reservations about self-driving cars.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2334 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,496

Funny Quotes Topics

15,197

Funny Quotes Images

12,496

Updated

26 minutes ago

Users Online

3,457

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Snapchat:

I’m a person who wants to do a lot of things trapped in the body of a person who wants to sleep a lot.

Just shared via Instagram:

There should be a calorie refund for food that didn’t taste as good as you expected.

Breaking via Facebook:

Me: I love you more than a flower loves the sun. Him: I love you more than a teenager loves his phone.

Trending via WeChat:

I make sure to post my political opinions after my selfies have gone viral to cull the herd.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Replying to all emails with “ya think?”.

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

In my defense, Your Honor, I grossly misunderstood the meaning of Boxing Day.

Going viral on Twitch:

At Christmas time, all outstanding invoices are always transferred with the reference “Hohoho”.

Just shared via YouTube:

Nothing brings neighbors together like a few cops cars in front of another neighbor’s house that no one likes.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Be useless, so nobody can use you.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

Good things happen when you smile or when you’re naked.

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Funny favorite movie quotes

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

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Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2334 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,496

Funny Quotes Topics

15,197

Funny Quotes Images

12,496

Updated

26 minutes ago

Users Online

3,433

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇰 has bookmarked:

The more stupid the views, the harder it is to talk people out of them.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has viewed:

I just tried to poach an egg and I now understand why Eggs Benedict is $23

Someone from 🇿🇦 has downloaded:

That’s me in the corner, that’s me using Microsoft Word, losing my revision.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has shared:

Ain’t no girls in my messages, just a bunch of verification codes.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has bookmarked:

I never make the same mistake twice. I make it like five or six times. You know, just to be sure.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has viewed:

100% of all babіes are unemployed. Pathetіc.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has viewed:

Every time I use self-checkout, the person in front of me has never used self-checkout, touchscreens, or money before.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has downloaded:

Drinking a beer alone with terrible posture.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has copied:

Good morning to the wind beneath my wings only.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has bookmarked:

I just can’t watch football, there’s too much “penetration in the backfield” for me to not giggle like an immature maniac.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Messenger:

You either die a people pleaser, or live long enough to start leaving texts on read.

Spotted on Telegram:

What if babies had two umbilical cords and if you cut the wrong one, it exploded?

Just shared via Threads:

I talk to my dog like she’s human and, like most humans, she looks at me like I’m an idiot.

Going viral on Facebook:

The next James Bond should be weird. Like he wears a train conductor’s hat and is afraid of balloons.

Just shared via WeChat:

“I’m sure it’ll turn up” – Translation: I’m bored of helping you look.

Seen just now on Slack:

I’ve deleted enough tweets to know that I should never get a tattoo.

Seen just now on TikTok:

Can’t believe penguins have to publish all those books with their tiny hands.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

All this suffering on earth because someone ate an apple once.

Making waves on Messenger:

It’s amazing, when it’s your birthday you really feel the love from family, friends, lovers, former dentists, yoga studios and various smootheries.

Just shared via Discord:

Can anyone recommend some good behaviors for someone who just started behaving?

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