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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇷 has viewed:

I would only enjoy the Met Gala if at the end of that runway they all walked into a volcano.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has viewed:

Real introverts are too introverted to tell people they’re introverts.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has downloaded:

Life hack: put on an apron at home and people think you’re super busy doing important stuff even when you’re not.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has downloaded:

When I’m president, I will add an additional hour between 6 and 7pm.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has viewed:

Parallel lines have got so much in common, it’s a shame they’ll never meet.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has viewed:

Just did my best horse impression and the doctor still won’t give me ketamine.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has viewed:

Going to a DaBaby concert because I need some alone time, and I know no one else will be there.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has copied:

Therapy is basically me saying, “I did a thing,” and my therapist saying, “Yay, good job!”

Someone from 🇵🇦 has downloaded:

There’s no-one who can get more drunk on power than the admin of a village Facebook group.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has viewed:

Apologies for the delays. The suitcase smashing machine has broken down, so we’re having to smash suitcases by hand.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

815 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,977

Funny Quotes Topics

13,919

Funny Quotes Images

10,977

Updated

4 minutes ago

Users Online

3,422

Social Media Log 💫

Reported on Threads:

Do you think the washing machine and the dryer are actual friends or just work friends?

Just shared via Snapchat:

All our dogs think we quit our jobs to spend more time with them. All our cats think we got fired for being lazy.

Making waves on Twitch:

If you eat well and exercise, you’ll die fit.

Shared recently on Slack:

Debugging is like being the detective in a crime where you are also the murderer. Following the clues of an idiot.

Seen just now on Reddit:

Forget mini pizzas. I want one so big it needs a forklift to rotate it.

Seen just now on Threads:

That one unemployed roommate who gets a package every day.

Going viral on YouTube:

Nothing brings neighbors together like a few cops cars in front of another neighbor’s house that no one likes.

Breaking via Discord:

Nobody ever talks about how Sodom and Gomorrah were walkable cities.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

I feel like we’re on like the 50th or 60th horseman of the apocalypse by now.

Making waves on WeChat:

What’s a good career for people with no motivation or talent?

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

815 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,977

Funny Quotes Topics

13,919

Funny Quotes Images

10,977

Updated

4 minutes ago

Users Online

3,433

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

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Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇾 has bookmarked:

Autumn at last. Sitting on the sofa all day with a blanket and tea and watching movies. Just like in summer, but with a blanket and tea.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has shared:

I like how people say “travel safely” like I’m the one flying the plane.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has shared:

I always set two alarms, one for “Good Intentions Me” and one for “The Real Me”

Someone from 🇹🇩 has bookmarked:

I may regret the megabytes I’ve wasted, but I’ll never regret the megabites I’ve tasted.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has bookmarked:

There is no bigger lie than “fun for the whole family”.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has bookmarked:

Cleaning the rocks of the earth one load of my kids’ laundry at a time.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has downloaded:

Roadtripping with my family has taught me that my marriage can withstand anything except roadtripping with my family.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has copied:

Pugs look like regular dogs that ran into a door at full speed.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has copied:

I’m so smart, I got rid of cable and now I only have $638 in monthly streaming services.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has shared:

A sandwich has the power to change your entire life.

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Facebook:

The best part about Smarties is pouring them into an empty prescription bottle and shaking them all into my mouth while waiting in line.

Seen just now on Threads:

Don’t let me drive if you’re gonna scream every time we almost die.

Seen just now on Discord:

Coworker: Where are you going after work? Me: Away from you.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Sometimes you choose the GIF-war over your responsibilities.

Making waves on Messenger:

My couch better stop looking at me like that, it knows exactly what it’s doing.

Just landed via Threads:

Sorry for the things I said when the internet was down for 10 minutes.

Seen just now on X:

You know where I’d like to go? Missing.

Seen just now on WeChat:

What is the name of the course in medical school where you learn not to take your patients seriously?

Spotted on WhatsApp:

I don’t like the person I become when I’m alone in the break room with a box of donuts.

Reported on LinkedIn:

Have you ever “accidentally” eaten a family sized bag of chips?

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