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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇲 has shared:

I used to be so graceful, now I am like a puppy with a box stuck on her head.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has viewed:

Old people get so mad when you’re young and tired.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has copied:

I really think my coworkers and I deserve an Oscar for acting like everything at work is fine.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has bookmarked:

All I want is to live well and to die in a manner so bizarre and gruesome it can only be described with a German word.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has copied:

If I ever find out who stole my identity, I’ll pay all their debts and ruin their credit score just for fun.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has viewed:

Me: “I should treat myself to something.” My bank account: “Dream on.”

Someone from 🇸🇬 has bookmarked:

My Mom say that everyone has a beautiful side, so I guess I’m a circle.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has copied:

Now that Christmas and New Year are out of the way, we can focus on the things that really matter: My posts.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has shared:

Your twenties are for destroying and betraying yourself for nothing.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has shared:

My doctor told me to eat more Taco Bell. Well, he actually said “less McDonald’s”, but I’m pretty sure I know what he meant.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

1886 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,048

Funny Quotes Topics

14,835

Funny Quotes Images

12,048

Updated

2 minutes ago

Users Online

3,452

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on X:

I just sneezed next to my computer and the anti-virus popped up.

Going viral on Snapchat:

So apparently they don’t count as sit-ups if you’re just trying to get out of bed.

Making waves on TikTok:

Folding laundry is like packing to stay home.

Live now on Reddit:

Please don’t celebrate April Fool’s day if you’re not a fool. My culture is not your costume.

Just landed via Twitch:

Being the forward-thinking person I am, I kept my winter fat through the summer.

Making waves on TikTok:

Shorts should be half the price of pants.

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

Apparently, “I just don’t want to” is not a valid reason when your boss asks you why you’re not coming in today.

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

Netflix be like “we know exactly what movie you talkin’ ’bout but we ain’t got it lol”.

Breaking via Instagram:

Sorry, but if you’re walking slower than me on the sidewalk, you’re my enemy. Walking faster than me? Also my enemy. Now if you’re walking at the same speed as me… hmm, yeah, I’m thinking enemy.

Just shared via Telegram:

I miss my kids the most when they go to bed and the mosquitoes go after me because they have no other options.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

1886 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,048

Funny Quotes Topics

14,835

Funny Quotes Images

12,048

Updated

2 minutes ago

Users Online

3,433

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇾🇪 has viewed:

I have a drawer in my kitchen that I can’t open anymore because of that one time I decided to put a spatula in it.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has shared:

I don’t need a New Year’s resolution, it’s the year’s turn to be better.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has downloaded:

Pretty sure the best place to hide a dead body is in a new tab you opened to read later.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has bookmarked:

Imagine how scary sharks would be if they wore necklaces made out of our teeth.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has downloaded:

To cut the long story short, I have spent all my money.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has viewed:

AirBnB is fun for when you want to be financially abused by a stranger with a binder filled with rules.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has downloaded:

Why sleep when you can stay up all night overthinking?

Someone from 🇫🇯 has copied:

Back in the day, you used to have to listen to records backwards to discover conspiracy theories.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has bookmarked:

What are some beginner pieces of information for somebody just getting into knowledge?

Someone from 🇧🇦 has bookmarked:

The problem is that you are in the dating pool when the other fish are in the ocean.

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

Every time my kids start whining, I get the urge to call my mom and apologize.

Live now on Pinterest:

I don’t have to take this abuse from you; I’ve got hundreds of people dying to abuse me.

Trending via Threads:

I’m delusional but self-aware, I call that Delaware.

Going viral on Pinterest:

Cinderella was a mess. I mean, I have bad taste in men, but at least I never settled for a guy who couldn’t remember what my face looked like.

Seen just now on WeChat:

Nudes are played out. Send me a video of you reading out loud so I know you’re not dumb.

Trending via Slack:

Summer is the best because there’s always a chance I’ll see someone trip on their own flip flop.

Seen just now on Reddit:

At the strip club sighing until one of the dancers asks me what’s wrong.

Broadcasted on Slack:

The house from Hansel and Gretel but made out of tacos.

Shared recently on Slack:

Why is Subway asking me for a tip? Bro, we made this sandwich together.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

Having to write cover letters is so dumb. Do you really believe my dream ever since I was a little girl was to work for you? No. It was to ride a pony on a funky space rainbow. Grow up.

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