168 Funny fitness quotes

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  3 months ago

  Share →: If biscuits were slimming and contained every nutrient the human body needs, I’d be in terrific shape.

  Commentary:
  "If only biscuits had the power to sculpt abs and provide essential nutrients, we’d all be lining up for the biscuit diet plan faster than you can say 'pass the butter'. But alas, the struggle for a beach-ready body continues, while we console ourselves with the knowledge that at least biscuits will always be here for us in our times of need (and cravings)."

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  3 months ago

  Share →: I don’t need a fancy watch to tell me I’m not fit one bit.

  Commentary:
  Who needs a fancy watch to track their fitness level when a quick glance in the mirror after climbing a flight of stairs gives you all the confirmation you need!

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  3 months ago

  Share →: Never eat more than you can lift.

  Commentary:
  "Remember, the secret to a successful diet is to always make sure your eyes aren't bigger than your thighs! So, never eat more than you can lift, unless you're training for the heavy lifting competition at the next buffet!"

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  3 months ago

  Share →: The word aerobics comes from two Greek words: aero, meaning “ability to,” and bics, meaning “withstand tremedous boredom.”

  Commentary:
  Ah, the clever origins of the word "aerobics" reveal the true essence of the workout – the ability to withstand tremendous boredom while getting in shape! It's a true test of mental fortitude to endure those repetitive movements and cheesy workout music. Who knew the ancient Greeks were also masters of sarcasm and wit when it came to fitness terminology!

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  3 months ago

  Share →: People would be more motivated to lose weight if the weight they lost went on to someone they didn’t like.

  Commentary:
  "If only we could donate our lost pounds to our frenemies, we'd all be lining up for that weight loss challenge! Just imagine the satisfaction of seeing that person struggling with our unwanted weight while we strut our stuff feeling lighter and revenge-slimmed."

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  3 months ago

  Share →: I named my dog “5 Miles,” so I can tell people I walk 5 miles every day.

  Commentary:
  "Who needs a fitness tracker when you have a cleverly named dog like '5 Miles'? It's the perfect excuse to skip the gym and just let your furry friend do all the work. Just remember to keep up the facade when someone asks about your workout routine!"

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  3 months ago

  Share →: Losing and then immediately gaining weight is my superpower.

  Commentary:
  "Who needs a cape when you can just fluctuate in weight like a superhero? 💪🍔🏋️‍♂️ Embracing the ultimate power of the scale, one pound at a time! 💥🦸‍♂️ #WeightLossGoals #WeightGainChamp"

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  4 months ago

  Share →: I wish I loved exercising as much as I love not exercising.

  Commentary:
  Oh, the eternal struggle between the love for relaxation and the dread of the treadmill! 🏃‍♂️💭 It's like the gym equipment is in a long-term relationship with dust rather than us. 😂 Who knew that our commitment to lounging on the couch could be so unwavering! 🛋️💪 Just think of the calorie-burning potential we could achieve if Netflix had a workout integration feature! 📺🏋️‍♀

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  4 months ago

  Share →: I saw someone wearing a shirt today that said “Eat Pasta Run Fasta,” and I can’t get it out of my head.

  Commentary:
  "🍝🏃‍♀️ Sounds like a recipe for success! Who knew carbs could be so motivating? Maybe I should wear a shirt that says “Eat Chocolate, Run Faster” 😂🍫 Keep your pasta close and your fitness goals closer!"

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  4 months ago

  Share →: Running feels great until you compare it to not running.

  Commentary:
  "Running: the only sport that makes you question your life choices mid-stride 🏃‍♂️😅 #RunnerProblems"

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