215 funny fitness quotes - Page 2 - Wordgag

Starting your day with an early morning run is a great way to make sure your day can’t get any worse than it started.

May 27, 2026

I know it hurts like hell, and you don’t think you can do it, but it’s just one push-up.

May 27, 2026

“You’re an athlete,” I whisper to myself, as I begin my third attempt to get out of the couch.

May 27, 2026

Fitbits are just Tamagotchis, except the stupid animal you’re trying to keep alive is you.

May 27, 2026

Welcome to your 40s—you run out of breath trying to find your running shoes.

May 27, 2026

Unless you fell off the treadmill, no one wants to hear about your workout.

May 27, 2026

I have the bruises of a much more active person.

May 27, 2026

It amazes me how much exercise and extra fries sound alike.

May 27, 2026

If I complain about being out of shape, I don’t actually want fitness tips and workouts to try. I just want to complain and remain out of shape. What is wrong with you people?

May 27, 2026

Of course, my summer body is ready; it’s the same as my winter body but sweatier.

May 27, 2026

The only way I’m gonna hit the gym is if I accidentally drive into it.

May 27, 2026

No, I didn’t eat enough protein today, but I did think of you with enough intensity to generate new muscle tissue in my heart.

May 26, 2026

I wish rolling your eyes burned calories.

May 26, 2026

You get to a certain age and realize stretching is non-negotiable.

May 26, 2026

If stress burned calories, I’d be a supermodel by now.

May 26, 2026

I’ve found that the easiest way to do burpees is to just not do burpees. No pain, no pain.

May 26, 2026

Nothing tastes as good as skinny feels.

May 26, 2026

Can you lose weight by running away from your feelings?

May 26, 2026

How many exercise videos do you have to buy before you get some results?

May 26, 2026

My daily exercise routine involves running late, jumping to conclusions and pushing my luck.

May 26, 2026

I wish my Fitbit could track all the steps I’ve taken trying to find where I put it.

May 26, 2026

Did you know 17 muscles are activated when you’re crying? Fitness is my passion.

May 26, 2026

You want me to do Pilates? The thing that killed Jesus?

May 26, 2026

The only squat I’m even considering doing today is diddly.

May 26, 2026

Yoga is just slow motion breakdancing.

May 26, 2026

I wish I had a pair of skinny genes.

May 26, 2026

The closest thing I’ve had to a personal trainer is the ice cream truck that drove past my house.

May 26, 2026

Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing.

May 26, 2026

How many calories does an audible sigh burn? Because I don’t think my Apple Watch is giving me credit for them.

May 26, 2026

Don’t blame the holidays, you were already overweight in August.

May 25, 2026

The only exercise I’ve done this month is running… out of money!

May 25, 2026

I can’t believe I forgot to go to the gym today. That’s like 7 years in a row now.

May 25, 2026

I’ve been dieting for a little over a week and I already gained three pounds.

May 25, 2026

Ctrl Alt delete my fat.

May 25, 2026

If biscuits were slimming and contained every nutrient the human body needs, I’d be in terrific shape.

May 25, 2026

I don’t need a fancy watch to tell me I’m not fit one bit.

May 25, 2026

Never eat more than you can lift.

May 25, 2026

The word aerobics comes from two Greek words: aero, meaning “ability to,” and bics, meaning “withstand tremedous boredom.”

May 25, 2026

People would be more motivated to lose weight if the weight they lost went on to someone they didn’t like.

May 25, 2026

I named my dog “5 Miles,” so I can tell people I walk 5 miles every day.

May 25, 2026