215 funny fitness quotes - Page 5 - Wordgag

The part right before bench pressing when you’re laying down but not lifting is so good.

May 21, 2026

I wish I could just drop my body off at the gym and pick it up later.

May 21, 2026

My step counter doesn’t judge. For him, steps to the fridge are just as valuable as a walk.

May 21, 2026

Pleasantly surprised to discover the treadmill I bought came with a remote control, so I can run it from my recliner.

May 21, 2026

My workout goals are simple: I’d just like to be able to get up off the floor without looking like a turtle trying to flip itself back over.

May 21, 2026

My problem areas are my upper arms and earth.

May 21, 2026

One day there will be condoms with Bluetooth that tell you whether you’re good in bed, how many calories you’ve burned and when the next train leaves.

May 21, 2026

I signed up to the gym a few months ago and still don’t see any results. I’ll go by there this weekend and ask what’s going on.

May 21, 2026

At the gym, everyone thinks exclusively about how little weight I can lift and how quickly I’m out of breath, because the world revolves around me.

May 21, 2026

“You should exercise for at least 30 minutes every day”. Okay, and how much if you’re not trying to go to the Olympics?

May 21, 2026

My goal weight is getting a magician to saw me in half.

May 21, 2026

How long do you actually have to wear a muscle shirt until you get muscles?

May 21, 2026

Put my too-weak notice in at the gym.

May 21, 2026

Today marks a five year anniversary of how I’ll start going to the gym tomorrow.

May 21, 2026

Got banned from the sauna at my gym for saying “steam me up, Scotty” a few too many times.

May 21, 2026

I think I’m about six months away from the perfect ‘before’ picture.

May 21, 2026

I keep my eyes in great shape by rolling them constantly.

May 21, 2026

Kettlebells? I thought you said kettle chips.

May 21, 2026

My summer body has been pending for about ten years.

May 21, 2026

Just done a HIIT workout and if anyone sees me trying to do that again just go ahead and hiit me in the face.

May 21, 2026

Got a new high score on my bathroom scale.

May 20, 2026

I was going to do some yoga today, but had a donut instead.

May 20, 2026

Just saw someone my age running and she wasn’t chasing an ice-cream truck.

May 20, 2026

I did some exercise in 2010, I should be good for another few years.

May 20, 2026

Running from your problems is cardio.

May 20, 2026

Most of my shoulder workout comes from shrugging when people ask me questions.

May 20, 2026

I don’t get treadmills, I mean if I walk I better reach somewhere.

May 20, 2026

The only thing I gained so far this year is weight.

May 20, 2026

Now that I’m in my mid-forties, I think I’ll take up parkour.

May 20, 2026

A treadmill minute is four times as long as a sleep minute.

May 20, 2026

I need to social distance with the refrigerator so I can flatten my curve.

May 20, 2026

Does running away from my problems count as cardio?

May 20, 2026

Hell, yes, I work out. Somebody has to support the ibuprofen industry.

May 20, 2026

Why have abs when you can have kebabs?

May 20, 2026

My body cracks like a glow stick every time I move, but refuses to light up.

May 20, 2026

If only my bank balance was as high as my daily calorie intake.

May 20, 2026

Does refusing to go to the gym count as resistance training?

May 20, 2026

People need to understand the difference between want and need. Like, I want abs, but I need chocolate.

May 20, 2026

You think you’re cool and then you see a video of yourself running.

May 20, 2026

When things get hot, they expand, so I’m just getting warmer, not gaining weight.

May 20, 2026