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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇿🇼 has copied:

My dad once sneezed so hard that he set every clock back two hours.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has viewed:

I’m uncomfortable around tall people. What if they pick me up and put me on their shoulders?

Someone from 🇲🇦 has bookmarked:

Never cry at the weekend. Cry at work, at least then you’ll get paid for it.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has downloaded:

Sorry for my bad behavior. Mercury is in gatorade or whatever.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has viewed:

If my toddler doesn’t sleep again tonight, I’m running away into the forest.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has shared:

People need to understand the difference between want and need. Like, I want abs, but I need chocolate.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has downloaded:

Save tons of money on a weighted blanket by sleeping under the mattress.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has copied:

I really want a family… sized bag of peanut butter M&Ms.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has viewed:

I love posting my thoughts on the internet. Now they’re your problem.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has bookmarked:

“What’s wrong with you?” Right now or in general?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2414 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,576

Funny Quotes Topics

15,246

Funny Quotes Images

12,576

Updated

7 minutes ago

Users Online

3,445

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via X:

I suck at flirting, I end up arguing with them instead.

Reported on X:

Don’t wait until you’re on your death bed to let them know how you feel. You may be too weak to raise your middle finger.

Spotted on Facebook:

Kid, I have jeans older than you.

Just shared via Slack:

“Real Housewives” is a great oxymoron because nothing about them is real.

Trending via Snapchat:

Not to be dramatic, but learning how to read has ruined my life.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

No one told me adulting would involve trying to avoid so many scams.

Spotted on Slack:

Since I’ve stayed away from most people, I get on much better with people.

Going viral on Reddit:

To cut a long story short, I became a film editor.

Making waves on WeChat:

In my defense, I was left alone unsupervised.

Going viral on Instagram:

I intend to live forever. So far, so good.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2414 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,576

Funny Quotes Topics

15,246

Funny Quotes Images

12,576

Updated

7 minutes ago

Users Online

3,447

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇬 has bookmarked:

I never forget a face, but in your case, I’ll be glad to make an exception.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has downloaded:

I had an irrational fear of bees until I saw My Girl and it became rational.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has viewed:

They say an apple a day keeps a doctor away. But what do I need to eat to keep everyone away?

Someone from 🇸🇷 has shared:

I’m not feeling very worky today.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has downloaded:

I don’t want to sleep like a baby, I want to sleep like a cat. 14 hours, no responsibilities, zero regrets.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has copied:

Horoscope: Many good things are in store for you! Unfortunately, the store is closed for repairs.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has copied:

Having to pee when you’re driving is problematic. Having to sneeze when you’re driving is even more problematic.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has copied:

Why do babies stare at you like they know you from somewhere?

Someone from 🇰🇭 has bookmarked:

Unloading the dishwasher in the opposite direction just to feel something.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has shared:

Demi Lovato is short for demilitarized love potato.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Parenting is cheering on your kid’s winning softball team all weekend and then cheering on the Sunday rain for cancelling the rest of the games.

Freshly posted on Discord:

I look stable, but I talk to animals, and wait for them to reply.

Just shared via Instagram:

Sleep when the baby sleeps, eat when the baby eats, work when the baby works.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

For a girl that loves sleep and hates stress, my career choice is questionable.

Spotted on YouTube:

Grateful for independence mostly because British food is gross.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

They lie on the job descriptions, so lie on your resume.

Shared recently on Instagram:

Sometimes I don’t have anything intelligent to say and sometimes I don’t let that stop me.

Just landed via Pinterest:

You ever have your knees crack so good that you expect them to glow in the dark. Yeah, me too.

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

Facebook is like a never-ending high school reunion.

Just landed via YouTube:

Being silly is very important for my mental health.

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