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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇸 has copied:

You get to choose which path you take. I see some of you have chosen the psychopath.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has viewed:

I would like even faster food.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has shared:

If you have an opinion about my life, please raise your hand. Now put it over your mouth.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has viewed:

Everybody loves that comfort food until you end up with that comfort body.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has shared:

I’ve found God. It’s my turn to hide now.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has downloaded:

At this point making life choices involves liquor and a dart board.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has viewed:

I don’t argue with my kids anymore. I just vacuum every surface of the living room while they’re trying to watch TV.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has viewed:

Great news everyone! The priest who took my confession is expected to make a full recovery.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has viewed:

Naps are tricky. Either you wake up relaxed and refreshed, or you have a headache, a dry throat and no idea what year it is.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has bookmarked:

I always make sure the garage door is shut. Wouldn’t want hoodlums stealing the stuff I’ve been meaning to get rid of for years.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

800 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,962

Funny Quotes Topics

13,930

Funny Quotes Images

10,962

Updated

20 minutes ago

Users Online

3,424

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Twitch:

I purposely overcook my holiday turkeys so I don’t have to hear anyone at the table say, “moist.”

Making waves on Instagram:

I’m not saying I need glasses. But today I watched a bunny in a meadow until it flew away.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

You should be able to mute someone in real life. Annoying coworker? Silence them for 24 hours by booping them on the nose!

Trending via Instagram:

Realizing this yogurt I’m eating is more active and cultured than I am.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

Anyone who thinks office jobs are harmless has never cut their finger on paper.

Making waves on TikTok:

My ex had this fetish where he would dress up in his own clothes and act like an idiot.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

To be blocked is to be seen and to be seen is to be loved.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

Men: Masters of multitasking – can watch sports, ignore laundry, and forget your birthday, all at once.

Making waves on TikTok:

Gordon Ramsay is making us dinner. It’s a four curse meal.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

Life’s too short to remove the USB drive safely.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media need people procrastination relationship sarcasm social someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

800 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,962

Funny Quotes Topics

13,930

Funny Quotes Images

10,962

Updated

20 minutes ago

Users Online

3,431

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇦 has downloaded:

I tiptoe near my medicine cabinet because I don’t want to wake my sleeping pills.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has shared:

My kids act like they’re afraid of monsters, when they are literally the most terrifying creatures I’ve ever met.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has shared:

My hobbies include adding things to my cart, and never buying them.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has viewed:

Using my one phone call to call Santa.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has bookmarked:

Horror movies have ruined the joy of skinny-dipping for me.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has copied:

Driving to work, and I just reached down to touch my leg to make sure I have pants on.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has copied:

Staying in bed all day is my way of saving money.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has copied:

I want to make fun of Kanye but I’m always losing my shit on the internet too.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has copied:

Be the reason your therapist reevaluates their entire career.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has copied:

Aliens probably lock their doors when they fly past Earth.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Trying to decide what to burn for dinner, so I can order pizza.

Reported on Snapchat:

Dads will insist the Masters is exciting while also napping through it.

Going viral on Messenger:

Sleep hits different when you’re not supposed to be sleeping.

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

Two mysterious people live in my house. “Somebody” and “Nobody.” Somebody did it and nobody knows who.

Shared recently on Instagram:

Stop making Fast and Furious movies.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

I was feeling kinda lonely this morning so I glued a coffee cup to the top of my car so people would wave at me.

Making waves on Messenger:

Sailors wish they could swear like me.

Trending via WeChat:

I haven’t cleaned my shower in so long, it’s becoming a terrarium. Absolutely gorgeous.

Just landed via Slack:

If a beer is 8 bucks, it’s a show. If a beer is 14 bucks, it’s a concert.

Making waves on Telegram:

I feel bad for Slash. He bought a goofy hat in like 1986 and now he has to wear it until the day he dies.

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