Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇦 has downloaded:

When a woman texts you three questions, you should only answer one. She will love that.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has downloaded:

I don’t understand why “family-run” should be a sign of quality. North Korea, for example, is also family-run and doesn’t convince me at all.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has shared:

Don’t throw a relationship away just because you don’t agree with their choices, unless they wear Crocs, then it’s okay.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has bookmarked:

I’ve been blocked by better.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has bookmarked:

Not to brag, but my date returned after using the restroom.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has copied:

Might start signing off emails with, “But what do I know.”

Someone from 🇧🇸 has shared:

Men will ruin your whole life then come back and like your story.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has downloaded:

Main difference between me and my jokes is that folks don’t laugh at my jokes.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has viewed:

Arab perfumes have zero chill… the entire street knows you’ve arrived.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has copied:

Never understood when the movie rating says “May contain nudity.” Are there people on the ratings board who aren’t sure if they just saw someone naked?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,635

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via LinkedIn:

If you are influenced by influencers, you’re beyond retarded.

Broadcasted on Discord:

Her idea of a romantic setting is one that has a diamond in it.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

Toothpaste sure knows how to ruin whatever you’re drinking.

Just landed via YouTube:

I’m afraid to go to therapy — what if they fix me and I lose my funny?

Broadcasted on Messenger:

“You handled that with such grace” are words that have never been spoken to me.

Spotted on Reddit:

The cool thing about Twitter is you’re never the craziest one.

Spotted on Facebook:

Bison may look friend-shaped, but they already have all the friends they want. Keep your distance and don’t make it awkward.

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

I’m really looking forward to getting a full 8 hours of overthinking in tonight.

Just shared via Telegram:

Much like an Olympic sprinter, I also load up on carbs, exert myself for roughly two minutes, and then quit for the rest of the day.

Live now on Snapchat:

Lack of sex really gets you mad at every little thing for no reason.

Funny gloss quotes

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New funny gloss quotes 👇

All funny gloss quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

79 shares on Instagram this month:

HR is giving me a hard time because I’ve been starting all my work emails with “Dearly Beloved”.

34 shares on Reddit this month:

I lost my appetite for doing work. If you find it, you can keep it.

10 shares on Messenger this month:

Not photogenic, but I probably look soooo good as a distant memory.

33 shares on YouTube this month:

I’ve noticed the best way to get somebody’s attention is to not want it anymore.

85 shares on TikTok this month:

I’m looking for friends with benefits. And by that I mean friends who have pools, boats and beautiful vacation homes.

78 shares on Instagram this month:

Snow White and the seven dwarves of the menopause; Itchy, Bitchy, Sweaty, Sleepy, Bloated, Forgetful, and Psycho.

47 shares on TikTok this month:

Due to inflation and tariffs, my love now costs a thing.

80 shares on Facebook this month:

As a kid, I was worried about randomly disappearing into the Bermuda Triangle forever. As an adult, I’m wondering how I can actually make that happen.

73 shares on X this month:

A hammock is a terrible place to receive bad news.

42 shares on LinkedIn this month:

THRILLED to announce I did an Ironman this weekend! Attended 3 social gatherings in 3 days.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Life tip: If all of your bathrooms are full and you’re waiting for someone to finish, just turn off the WiFi in the house.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Milk teeth are wasted on children. A new set of teeth would be a lot more useful when you’re older.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Every time I see an odd screw on the floor somewhere, I think one of my loose ones has finally come out.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

If only guys would moan in bed like they do in the gym…

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Asking doctors about nutrition is like asking software engineers about printers, they really have no idea.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

I always have a bad connection in my head when someone tries to explain a card or board game to me.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s a little ironic when you consider that the Internet was invented to save time.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Everyone on the bus thinks that they are the main character, when in reality the main character is the bus.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Being single only sucks when you’re a little drunk and really want to flirt.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Whoever’s been in charge of the weather for the last few weeks seems to have fallen asleep on the couch with the remote control in their hand.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,326

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇱 has downloaded:

I hope this email finds you in a well.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has viewed:

An evil genius rising to a position of power is bad but it makes sense at least. Feels insulting we’re constantly seeing evil idiots doing it instead.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has viewed:

My birth year getting a lil too far on those lil scroll lists. I don’t like that.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has copied:

Naps are tricky. Either you wake up relaxed and refreshed, or you have a headache, a dry throat and no idea what year it is.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has copied:

Taking screenshots of the screenshots buried in my photo library to ‘bring them to the front.’ It’s not a great system, I admit.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has copied:

Cloud 9 is a very high place to fall from.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has shared:

I was abducted by aliens. They made me wash my hands, clean my room, and eat my vegetables. Turns out I was on the mothership.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has copied:

It scares me when you stay up late, like 3 a.m., and you hear a car go down the road, like, where are you going?

Someone from 🇵🇼 has copied:

What if babies had two umbilical cords and if you cut the wrong one, it exploded?

Someone from 🇻🇨 has bookmarked:

Roman soldiers are all like “I’m going to fight you in this short yet tasteful leather skirt.”

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Slack:

Don’t be fooled by what your kids will eat at someone else’s house.

Shared recently on Threads:

If a man speaks in the forest and his wife is not there to hear him, is he still wrong?

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Fun like a LinkedIn notification.

Spotted on WeChat:

If I had The Force, I’d just use it to open pistachios.

Spotted on YouTube:

French fries are like the lifeboats on the Titanic. They never give you enough.

Seen just now on Reddit:

I’m just so lazy because I’m still recovering from the fact that I used to be the fastest sperm.

Spotted on Threads:

I’ve just filed a restraining order against reality.

Broadcasted on TikTok:

Donuts hug you from the inside.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Ruin a perfectly nice trip out with your child by bringing your child.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

The first bowl of cereal makes you want a second, but the second makes you wish you stopped at the first.

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