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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇲 has shared:

Shutting up is gluten-free. Maybe add that to your diet, princess.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has downloaded:

Not being able to teleport is continuing to be a huge inconvenience for me.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has bookmarked:

Sadly, I do my best proofreading after I hit “send.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has downloaded:

Called in, “Let’s make this simple. What excuse haven’t I used yet?”

Someone from 🇬🇾 has bookmarked:

In an effort to demonstrate how pointless internet debates are, please prove to me that snow is real.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has downloaded:

Telling your child their sibling is still asleep a very effective way to get them to practice their instrument.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has shared:

Don’t worry, better days are coming. They are called Friday, Saturday and Sunday.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has copied:

My favourite yoga pose is the one where you lay really still and do nothing.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has shared:

I have been alive all my life, and have not once seen a Chinese food commercial.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has viewed:

Today’s toddlers can switch on laptops and use apps. When I was little, I ate sand.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2543 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,705

Funny Quotes Topics

15,362

Funny Quotes Images

12,705

Updated

4 minutes ago

Users Online

3,458

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on YouTube:

My favorite dance move is trying to get out of my own way.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Do you ever wake up in the morning and you’re just like… no.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

May life treat you exactly the same way you treat servers, store clerks, senior citizens, children, and animals.

Shared recently on TikTok:

God’s plan for me is super weird so far.

Reported on Slack:

Just because I’m friendly doesn’t mean I like you. It just means that I’m not rude.

Making waves on Pinterest:

Dear everyone. Upset, bored, angry or hungry. I’m here for you. Sincerely, fridge.

Going viral on TikTok:

Sorry, I can’t come. I’m still recovering from the last time I went out.

Shared recently on YouTube:

Having a low-quality camera will definitely force you to keep your life private.

Going viral on WeChat:

I have a date and nothing to wear. Or as Nietzsche said: If you stare into a closet long enough, the closet stares back at you.

Live now on Threads:

I don’t dress for women. I don’t dress for men. I dress for the weather, mainly.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2543 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,705

Funny Quotes Topics

15,362

Funny Quotes Images

12,705

Updated

4 minutes ago

Users Online

3,452

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇻🇳 has copied:

I dreamed I won the lottery, so you can imagine how thrilled I was to wake up and get ready for work.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has viewed:

If you are influenced by influencers, you’re beyond retarded.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has shared:

One does not simply become a master of karate. First, you must accidentally walk into a spider web.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has viewed:

Automated phone system: To speak to a representative, please enter the first twelve digits of pi.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has downloaded:

Not to brag, but I’ve seen Barbie naked.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has bookmarked:

If you’re out shopping today, be nice to retail workers. It’s not their fault you waited until Marys waters broke before you started your shopping.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has viewed:

The secret to being able to buy whatever you want is not wanting much.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has copied:

Desperately seeking my soul, mate.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has copied:

Just because you are unique, doesn’t mean you are useful.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has shared:

Apart from “It’s okay”, what other death threats do women use?

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on X:

I just want a bar where I can pour my own drink, have music at a normal volume, and there are no people, and it’s my house.

Trending via Snapchat:

There’s only one way we’ll at least occasionally get normal elected officials and that’s if we pick them by random lottery.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

All the smart people at the office are worried about being replaced by A.I., but not me. I’m safe until they invent Artificial Stupidity.

Just landed via Telegram:

Everyone’s a gangster until they turn a spoon the wrong way under running water.

Seen just now on Discord:

My life coach traded me.

Trending via Slack:

Cashews are my favorite because they’re salty and hunched over just like me.

Broadcasted on Telegram:

What’s a girl gotta do to feel a dopamine high around here?

Trending via Pinterest:

In banana years, I am bread.

Broadcasted on Messenger:

Oh right, like you’ve never let your kids stay lost in a corn maze just a little longer.

Making waves on TikTok:

99% of celebrating your birthday as an adult just consists of texting back “thanks so much”.

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