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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇿 has viewed:

I was just viciously body shamed by my mirror.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has bookmarked:

Rent really don’t make no sense. Like, why is my apartment getting a raise every year? Who is doing the performance review?

Someone from 🇻🇺 has bookmarked:

A woman’s sigh can speak a 1000 words.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has shared:

I put the “pro” in procrastinate.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has downloaded:

People in my real life annoy me, so I come online to annoy you.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has copied:

Hello, my voicemail is currently unavailable. To leave a message please speak slowly and clearly into the nearest toaster.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has bookmarked:

Frodo is a beautiful name for a boy. Has a ring to it.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has bookmarked:

Statistically speaking, people don’t object enough at weddings.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has copied:

I used to sell furniture for a living. The trouble was, it was my own.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has copied:

The sun is so successful because it has the perfect bedtime and morning routines.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

767 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,929

Funny Quotes Topics

13,902

Funny Quotes Images

10,929

Updated

6 minutes ago

Users Online

3,428

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Slack:

Foot fetish should just be called feetish.

Just shared via Telegram:

Before sleeping, most people will imagine stuff they want to happen. Like sleeping.

Live now on X:

The plan was simple: finish school, find a job and get married at 25. But now I don’t understand anything anymore.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

Someone said I should think before I speak and I said “eww what a horrible way to live”

Spreading quickly via Threads:

Why’d they call it a fly swatter and not a splatula?

Seen just now on Facebook:

I don’t want to sound controversial, but having Monday off is great. We should do this every week.

Making waves on Slack:

Even a broken shrimp fries rice twice a day.

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

It’s ok to not have a Valentine on Valentine’s Day. I didn’t have a groundhog on Groundhog’s Day.

Making waves on YouTube:

Being a serial killer is much like being a comedian, in that you either hit it big and get your own Netflix special, or you spend eternity popping up on shitty podcasts.

Going viral on Facebook:

They’re releasing another “Jurassic” movie. Let me guess: The dinosaurs get loose.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media need people procrastination relationship sarcasm social someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

767 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,929

Funny Quotes Topics

13,902

Funny Quotes Images

10,929

Updated

6 minutes ago

Users Online

3,417

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇹 has downloaded:

According to my kids’ Christmas lists, they think this parenting gig pays pretty well.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has shared:

You know what goes great with helping your kid with math homework? Vodka!

Someone from 🇷🇴 has bookmarked:

One week of daily crunches and I have abs…urdly underestimated how long it will take to see results.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has copied:

Daffodil totally sounds like an insult, you blooming daffodil.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has bookmarked:

If you can’t handle me while I’m broke, then you don’t deserve me when I have $600.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has shared:

You can count the number of times my wife has agreed with me on one hand, if you don’t have fingers.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has bookmarked:

Good morning everyone, who feels like working today? I promise I’ll let you do my job.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has viewed:

But have you tried getting slow neck kisses and soft ear whispers about it?

Someone from 🇬🇭 has downloaded:

Why do we call it tuna fish? Is there any other tuna out there that’s not a fish?

Someone from 🇦🇱 has bookmarked:

Weekends are a scam, you spend one day exhausted and the other day anxious. Like, what the hell was that?

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via TikTok:

Some people are wise, some folks are otherwise.

Seen just now on X:

My friends wife threatened to leave him over his Star Wars collectibles and I was like “divorce is strong in this one”.

Going viral on Telegram:

Hear me out. A waiting room where the doctors wait.

Breaking via Twitch:

Imagine hearing the ice cream truck music, but at night.

Going viral on Telegram:

Everybody has a girlfriend and a boyfriend, and I’m over here like “I love food”.

Spotted on TikTok:

That awkward moment when you’ve said “What?” three times, so you just say “Oh, yeah..” even though you have no idea what they said.

Making waves on X:

This is not an empty room, this is a very successful anti-party.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

The devil is keeping him alive to avoid spending eternity with him in hell.

Making waves on Discord:

If at first you don’t succeed, that’s so embarrassing. Why are you so bad at this?

Making waves on Slack:

Home is where the clothes rack stands in the way.

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