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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇭 has viewed:

Your eyes water when you yawn because you miss your bed and it makes you sad.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has viewed:

If you ever find yourself as a houseguest for an extended period of time, here is the golden rule for success: invisible by day, charming by night.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has shared:

“Machines will soon be as smart as people.” Ok, but which people?

Someone from 🇭🇺 has bookmarked:

Commas are like garlic, you measure with your heart.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has shared:

Ask your doctor if it’s right for you to eat oranges and pretend they’re planets and you’re a Greek god.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has bookmarked:

No one lies more than a parent who says, “We’ll see.” You know we’re not seeing anything.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has downloaded:

It’s so hot to me when a man has a poorly run Instagram account.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has viewed:

Tryna choke on gummy bears so my tombstone can read ‘killed by a bear’

Someone from 🇧🇩 has shared:

My kids couldn’t care less about personal hygiene unless we are running late somewhere.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has viewed:

People will say stuff like “Well, at least if WWIII happens, I won’t have to go to work…” I think in your heart you know that’s not true.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,589

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Facebook:

Glasses don’t make you look smart, everyone knows you had to fail a test to get them.

Seen just now on Twitch:

Welcome to Elephant in the Room club, no one talks about it.

Trending via Messenger:

When you’re dead, you don’t know that you’re dead. But it’s hard for those around you. It’s the same when you’re stupid.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

I don’t wanna brag, but I’ve been told I’m micro-management material.

Spotted on X:

Pizza crusts go uneaten, but people will devour an entire pan of breadsticks.

Trending via Discord:

Horror movies should add bloopers, so after watching the main film, you’ll be able to sleep.

Going viral on TikTok:

People who own banana costumes will wear that shit to anything.

Live now on YouTube:

A perfect parent is a person with excellent child-rearing theories and no actual children.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

Elsa froze her entire kingdom instead of dealing with her feelings. I respect that level of avoidance.

Going bananas on Reddit:

Rise and grind your teeth gently while ruminating over every past mistake.

Funny hanging on quotes

New funny hanging on quotes 👇

Super excited about a brand new week of hanging on by a thread.

6 days ago

brand, brand new week, excited, hanging, hanging on, humor, motivation, new, optimism, struggle, super, thread, week

All funny hanging on quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

25 shares on Instagram this month:

If you bring an acoustic guitar to a bonfire, I’m going to assume it’s for fuel.

33 shares on X this month:

You got a better chance getting chased by a dog than by me.

16 shares on WeChat this month:

After all the books are banned, they’ll move on to suggestive fruit.

89 shares on WhatsApp this month:

My brain says “Let’s do something exciting today” but my body says “Don’t listen to that fool.”

98 shares on Instagram this month:

Fundamentally, I understand chess, because I too would never let my king feel unsafe.

74 shares on Pinterest this month:

Your opinions are not my business.

71 shares on Threads this month:

There’s no sadder tableau in all of humanity than the smoker’s terrarium at the airport.

11 shares on Threads this month:

Sorry, my face wasn’t created to hide that much distain for what you’re saying.

38 shares on Reddit this month:

Sadly, I do my best proofreading after I hit “send.

83 shares on WeChat this month:

I bought my antidepressants off of Temu and now I glow in the dark.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇿🇲 has shared:

I keep all my valuables near the front door so if burglars breaks in during the night they will not wake me up.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has shared:

Alexa, tell Roomba to get the spider.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has bookmarked:

Only 6 hours, 45 minutes and 35 years until I’m done with work.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has shared:

I’d be less aggressive in the morning if I could drive to work in a tank.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has downloaded:

I don’t usually think about what I say before I say it. I prefer to think about it after I’ve said it, late at night, for the rest of my life.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has downloaded:

My day starts backwards, I wake up tired and I go to bed wide awake.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has viewed:

I don’t really like the song “I’ve Got a Feeling” by Black Eyed Peas, but I just like the part where they say “Mazel Tov.”

Someone from 🇧🇳 has downloaded:

Is it just me, or does anybody else get excited about cancelling plans?

Someone from 🇸🇪 has copied:

I used to question authority, but now I question everything.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has bookmarked:

Onion rings? I’m answering.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on X:

Imagine giving someone your heart at Christmas, but the very next day they give it away. Haha, would feel so stupid.

Just landed via YouTube:

Asked my therapist who their therapist was and went to see them. Asked them the same thing until I got to the final boss therapist and defeated them with my trainwreck of a life.

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

Flour company: What if we sell it in a paper bag that’s not fully sealed at the bottom?

Live now on Instagram:

I think fathers lose their mind a little bit when they realize their daughters aren’t as forgiving as their wives.

Trending via WhatsApp:

80s movies: Let’s go to the future! Today: Let’s go back to the 80s!

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Every laptop should have a “cat” button that disables the keyboard so they can nap.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

I can already feel that the day is going to seize me instead of the other way around.

Broadcasted on Threads:

Don’t donate your plasma. It’s a big scam, and they’re just using it to make TVs.

Shared recently on TikTok:

I hate being around people who mistake my childlike wonder as naivety or weakness. I am simply a war general who loves to giggle.

Spotted on Pinterest:

Main difference between me and my jokes is that folks don’t laugh at my jokes.

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Funny hanging on quotes

New funny hanging on quotes 👇

Super excited about a brand new week of hanging on by a thread.

All funny hanging on quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨