Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇮 has bookmarked:

Don’t listen to them, little password. You are strong.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has viewed:

I totally understand those uncles and aunts who don’t attend gatherings.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has shared:

Did 900 crunches today. It was a bag of Cheetos, but still.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has bookmarked:

I have now spread out a blue tarpaulin in the garden. I want it to look like I have a pool on Google Maps.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has downloaded:

“Why don’t you tell us anything anymore?” I’ve updated my privacy policy.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has bookmarked:

Every day, I go to work and draw a little tick on everyone who didn’t say goodbye to me the day before.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has viewed:

Sorry I missed your call when I pressed decline.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has bookmarked:

Hanging out with your parents as an adult is so interesting, cause it’s like, “Oh, so that’s why I’m like this.”

Someone from 🇨🇾 has viewed:

They should invent a rest for the wicked.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has shared:

I feel a deep connection to librarians because I also love telling people to shut up.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,466

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Ever since I was a little girl, I knew I wanted to skirt the issue.

Seen just now on Discord:

Crazy how many organs in your body are dedicated to the poopification of dinner.

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

Relationship status: the black mold in my shower thinks I’m cute.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

What electric cars and diarrhea have in common is the fear of not making it home.

Going bananas on Messenger:

Rental car companies seem so insanely helpless at their one job. You show up at the airport, reservation in hand, and they’re like, ‘Wait, really? You wanted a car? Sorry, you totally caught me off guard.’

Going viral on Messenger:

Egg nog was invented in Germany back in 1816 when Baron von Heldebrandt reportedly said “Hey guys, let’s get this custard drunk!”

Shared recently on Slack:

Christmas is coming and you’re not.

Trending via WhatsApp:

They’re putting me through the penny flattening machine at the zoo.

Broadcasted on Instagram:

Maybe the four horsemen of the apocalypse are Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, and TikTok.

Broadcasted on Threads:

I’m not shaking hands anymore. You may bow or kneel down.

Funny headless quotes

Funny headless quotes 🧠🚫 are the perfect mix of spooky and silly that’ll make you laugh out loud! Whether you love Halloween vibes 🎃 or just enjoy quirky humor, these headless gems will tickle your funny bone in the most unexpected way. Get ready for some head-turning laughs that are anything but ordinary! 😂💀 #HeadlessHumor #LaughOutLoud

New funny headless quotes 👇

All funny headless quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

42 shares on Messenger this month:

My five-year plan is to get back my whimsy, joy, childlike wonder.

71 shares on Pinterest this month:

A man’s home is his castle, but his garage is his sanctuary.

76 shares on X this month:

You should be allowed to speed if good music is playing.

80 shares on Snapchat this month:

Spewing nonsense online is the most fun a depressed person is allowed to have in these twisted times.

83 shares on WeChat this month:

I literally never want to be the bigger person again. We can both go to hell.

89 shares on Threads this month:

Hey man, your fly is down. Let me get that for you.

46 shares on TikTok this month:

Umbrellas are great if you only want to get wet sideways.

46 shares on YouTube this month:

Calling someone a “tough cookie” is not a compliment, tough cookies are literally the worst cookies.

75 shares on Pinterest this month:

The meteorologist who devised the wind chill factor has died. He was 86, but he felt like 75.

20 shares on Discord this month:

I just want a bar where I can pour my own drink, have music at a normal volume, and there are no people, and it’s my house.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Welcome to your late 40s! From now on you will no longer be in “good health” but in “good health for your age”.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Fasted for 72 hours and gained the ability to whisper to bats.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Had some plain yogurt with protein powder in it for breakfast, and not only is it high in protein and very filling, it’s also disgusting.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

In a room full of art, I’d still stare at you.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

I only write when I am falling in love, or falling apart.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

I need a Netflix show called: “Background noise while you scroll on your phone.”

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Is it smoky eye or were you wearing mascara and your eyes got itchy?

12 folks are currently checking 👀

She’s got style, she’s got grace, she crams french fries in her face.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

I’ve tasted long-term relationships, I’ve tasted casual dating. I highly recommend focusing on your career and going to sleep before 9 p.m. ..!

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Moms be like, “Your cousin’s neighbor’s husband’s aunt died. Just thought you should know.”

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,606

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇻🇺 has downloaded:

Deja poo is when you feel like you’ve heard the same shit before.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has shared:

My phone charger is lying in another room. HELP.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has bookmarked:

Everyone is always talking about raising money for dogs without homes, but what about the ones who don’t have cars?

Someone from 🇲🇿 has bookmarked:

People are always saying “not today, Satan” but what if we just hear him out.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has copied:

Me every time I wake up: Oh no, not again!

Someone from 🇨🇷 has copied:

Next time I lose my mind I swear I’m not even going to look for it any more.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has downloaded:

The Bloodhound Gang were very special because its music for 12-year-old boys, but every reference requires you to be 40 years old.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has bookmarked:

I was going to do some yoga today, but had a donut instead.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has viewed:

I’ve discovered I have a logic fetish, I just can’t stop coming to conclusions.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has downloaded:

The best time to visit Japan is when you have money!

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Twitch:

I be butt naked, texting people, and they’ll never know.

Spotted on Twitch:

I’m just a girl, standing in front of a Monday, asking it to be a Friday.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

Putting my Christmas tree up today. Big day for my cats.

Making waves on WeChat:

It is only when a mosquito lands on your testicles that you realize there is always a way to solve problems without using violence.

Trending via Instagram:

May life treat you exactly the same way you treat servers, store clerks, senior citizens, children, and animals.

Seen just now on Facebook:

Social media is mental suicide.

Just shared via Threads:

I always stop the microwave before it beeps because it’s not the boss of me.

Seen just now on Threads:

Even worse than the buzzing of the mosquitoes is the moment when it suddenly stops.

Making waves on Twitch:

If I’m gonna jingle your bells, I’m definitely gonna jingle them all the way.

Trending via Facebook:

Carrying a conversation counts as cardio.

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