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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇾 has shared:

I refuse to be bound by the social construct called “the calendar.” Merry Christmas, everyone.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has shared:

If you would just let me help, you’d be in an even worse position than you are now.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has copied:

Being alone is my favourite way of being.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has downloaded:

The dildo of consequences rarely arrives lubed.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has copied:

The only lesson I remember from the pandemic is that you’re only supposed to wash your hands if it’s your birthday.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has viewed:

If I ever went to jail for murder, it would be for murdering my printer.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has downloaded:

I’m only staying up until midnight on New Year’s to watch that bloody year die.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has viewed:

At this point making life choices involves liquor and a dart board.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has downloaded:

Men need women, women need men. The end.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has bookmarked:

Whoever invented the “skip intro” button really understood humans.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

243 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,512

Funny Quotes Topics

17,578

Funny Quotes Images

15,512

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,571

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via WeChat:

(to the boys in the yard) I hope you brought your own milkshake.

Breaking via Slack:

There is no physiological reason to yell when you sneeze. People who do that are simply weak and rude.

Seen just now on X:

I need something good to watch while I’m on my phone.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Airports are the perfect place to see people who are experiencing their first day on Earth.

Seen just now on Reddit:

By the power vested in me by Facebook, I now pronounce you unfriended and restricted. You may now kiss my butt.

Just shared via X:

Every time the universe sends me a sign, I’m like, okay, but I think I’ll wait for a signier sign.

Freshly posted on Discord:

It’s been a pleasure miscommunicating with you.

Just shared via Telegram:

Going to a concert with a tomato in each hand just to make the band nervous.

Going viral on X:

Asked my therapist who their therapist was and went to see them. Asked them the same thing until I got to the final boss therapist and defeated them with my trainwreck of a life.

Making waves on Slack:

Little kid on the plane to Boston says “do they speak English there?” and his mom says “kinda!”

Funny health rant quotes

New funny health rant quotes 👇

You can just enjoy kombucha. You don’t need to go on a tirade about cleansing your gut.

0

2 months ago

digestion, enjoy, gut, gut health, health, health joke, health rant, humor, joke, just, kombucha, lighthearted, need, rant, wellness

Someone from 🇦🇿 has recently shared this quote.

119 shares on WhatsApp this month.

All funny health rant quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

51 shares on Twitch this month:

Born to be a hater, forced to understand your perspective.

56 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Venn diagrams. You either love ‘em or you hate ‘em. Or you’re somewhere in the middle.

14 shares on Slack this month:

My wallet is like an onion; opening it makes me cry.

35 shares on Twitch this month:

Apologize for the job that you do. It would be nice if you were talented too.

63 shares on TikTok this month:

Have you ever been sitting around overthinking about overthinking, and then wonder why you’re even thinking that?

42 shares on X this month:

I remember the first time I saw a universal remote control. I thought to myself, “Wow, this changes everything.”

26 shares on Facebook this month:

Men want to meet up too easily. What if I plan to sacrifice you?

80 shares on Telegram this month:

Needing to rant and not wanting anyone to know your business is such a crazy combo.

45 shares on WeChat this month:

At what age do I delete Snapchat?

38 shares on X this month:

I can’t take people who pronounce “gnocchi” correctly seriously.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇹 has copied:

Every homemade dinner counts as negative calories because of the exercise we get waving pillows at the smoke detectors.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has copied:

Took a good look at my finances. I won’t make that mistake again.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has shared:

How to have flat stomach: remove all of your organs.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has viewed:

When they say screen time is bad for you, they just mean the ones at work, right?

Someone from 🇫🇯 has bookmarked:

Never forget that, just a couple of years ago, people were justifying paying $20,000 for a JPEG of an ape.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has viewed:

Curly fries are my favorite as they’re salty and spiraling, like me.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has copied:

Sometimes I wish I could turn down the volume on certain people.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has bookmarked:

Addicted to eating one gigantic meal a day like a reptile.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has viewed:

Maybe Monday is more scared of us than we are of it… we don’t know.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has viewed:

I lost my job at NASA Mission Control today. I misheard when they said, “It’s lunch time.”

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Slack:

Babe, are you okay? You’ve barely responded to my telepathic messages.

Going viral on YouTube:

She was unique, like a millennial that could drive a stick shift.

Seen just now on Threads:

She said she liked animals but apparently all the fruit flies around my apartment was a “turn off”

Freshly posted on WeChat:

How can I be ready for the future when I’m not even ready to get up in the morning?

Shared recently on Instagram:

Golf is a great way to learn all of the new curse words your subconscious has been cooking up in the lab.

Trending via Snapchat:

If you can’t wow them with wisdom, baffle them with bullshit.

Trending via Threads:

Sometimes I don’t have anything intelligent to say and sometimes I don’t let that stop me.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

I have a date and nothing to wear. Or as Nietzsche said: If you stare into a closet long enough, the closet stares back at you.

Spotted on TikTok:

My therapist said cutting people off isn’t healthy. She’s next.

Breaking via Messenger:

For someone who is afraid of failure, I’m very unmotivated.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Funny health rant quotes

New funny health rant quotes 👇

You can just enjoy kombucha. You don’t need to go on a tirade about cleansing your gut.

All funny health rant quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨