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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇪 has bookmarked:

Caveman bartender: “This one’s on the cave.”

Someone from 🇪🇬 has downloaded:

One day I will start learning from my mistakes. Today is not that day. Tomorrow isn’t looking so good either.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has shared:

Unpopular opinion: I do enjoy third-wheeling if the couple is fun.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has bookmarked:

I have a great poker face because I have no idea what’s going on.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has downloaded:

No, it’s totally fine, Grandma. Nobody else needs to use the stairs today.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has shared:

Some people identify as funnier than they actually are.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has bookmarked:

Why can’t my fat leave me like everything else does?

Someone from 🇹🇿 has shared:

But if i put my laundry away, the laundry chair will be out of a job.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has viewed:

If someone asks you if you’re in the queue, what they actually mean is “you’re really shit at queuing, aren’t you?”

Someone from 🇲🇲 has downloaded:

Bragging about how I’ve “really turned my life around recently” without mentioning in which direction.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,752

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via WhatsApp:

A babysitter is a teenager who acts like an adult while the adults go out to act like teenagers.

Just shared via Snapchat:

The adult version of “head, shoulders, knees and toes” is “wallet, glasses, keys and phone.”

Trending via Threads:

Soup is great for when you’re hungry but want to still feel hungry afterward.

Making waves on Instagram:

This year, the feliz is not navidading.

Spotted on TikTok:

Girls flirt by orbiting your general location like an electron.

Shared recently on Facebook:

When I take a shower I’m: 5% cleaning myself, 10% singing, 85% making life changing decisions.

Trending via WhatsApp:

Oh, that’s nothing a sudden burst of completely disproportionate rage won’t solve.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Do you think birds, once they get older, start people-watching?

Shared recently on YouTube:

I like when the superheroes that can fly pick up and carry the ones that can’t.

Spotted on Slack:

Like most people my age, I’m 50.

Funny heating pad quotes

Funny heating pad quotes are here to warm your heart and tickle your funny bone! 🔥😄 Whether you’re battling chilly nights or sore muscles, these hilarious lines bring cozy vibes with a side of laughter. Perfect for sharing with friends or brightening up your self-care routine, get ready to snuggle up and smile! 🛋️😂 #CozyAndFunny #HeatingPadHumor

New funny heating pad quotes 👇

All funny heating pad quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections
✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

68 shares on X this month:

Having now listened to the entire song, I have to say there’s some obvious internal disagreement as to what the Hokey Pokey is all about.

48 shares on Slack this month:

Facebook is like a never-ending high school reunion.

95 shares on Messenger this month:

Jan 1st: Avocado on whole grain toast with a protein shake. Jan 20th: Syrup comes from a tree so technically it’s a vegetable.

80 shares on Threads this month:

Nothing worse than when I turn up to Park Run to find it is indeed going ahead.

15 shares on WeChat this month:

Only after moving in together do you realize your girlfriend’s little quirks. Mine, for example, stores vegetables in the beer compartment.

91 shares on Instagram this month:

Did the people you had a crush on always like you back or are you funny?

96 shares on Facebook this month:

“I’ll run it by the boss” is one of the peak boomerisms you can say as a married man. It feels electric.

83 shares on WeChat this month:

Sleep with each other, or someone else will!

14 shares on Threads this month:

When your kids embarrass you in public, the only way out is to turn away in disgust and mutter loudly, “Who raised you?”

65 shares on TikTok this month:

I’ve reached the age where people talk loudly and slowly to me.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

13 folks are currently checking 👀

The title of my autobiography is going to be ‘You’d Think I’d Learn By Now, But Nope.’

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Japan’s greatest tragedy is having the world’s best toilets and no Mexican food. What’s the point of owning a Ferrari if you never take it to the track?

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Why is there so much day left at the end of my patience?

8 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m so lazy that I get jealous when it’s bedtime in other countries.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

At first, big breasts were attractive, then suddenly it was big butts. I’m waiting for it to finally be big bellies.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Welcome to Elephant in the Room club, no one talks about it.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Having now listened to the entire song, I have to say there’s some obvious internal disagreement as to what the Hokey Pokey is all about.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Next time someone says “I’m a hugger” and tries to hug me, I’m gonna say “I’m a puncher” and see how it goes.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

They should make a biopic of just some random guy.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

I hope my email finds you enraged.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,468

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇲 has viewed:

Tried to sleep by reading a boring book and now it’s suddenly the most interesting book.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has copied:

To all of you who have never tried blindfold archery: You don’t know what you’re missing!

Someone from 🇬🇦 has downloaded:

Shazam, but for the name of the person who literally just introduced themself to me.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has shared:

If they’re called leggings, why is your stomach in there?

Someone from 🇬🇩 has viewed:

We all know that mirrors don’t lie. I’m just very grateful that they don’t laugh.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has bookmarked:

I’m never early… unless we’re talking about the airport.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has viewed:

I really think tossing and turning at night should be counted as exercise.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has downloaded:

I want to sit and read, take a nap, and snack. Basically, I want to be in kindergarten.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has copied:

My parents didn’t raise me to order something expensive when someone else is paying.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has downloaded:

Diarrhea awareness week starts today. Runs through Sunday.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via YouTube:

Muting morons is good for your health.

Just shared via Facebook:

Nobody ever talks about how Sodom and Gomorrah were walkable cities.

Spotted on TikTok:

Withholding sex from you people isn’t working.

Just shared via Twitch:

If I were Juliet, I would NOT be pleased to find a man standing under my balcony at midnight. Sir, I am in my jim-jams.

Just shared via Telegram:

I keep my eyes in great shape by rolling them constantly.

Spotted on TikTok:

Another day of explaining to mom that New York is big and the footage she saw wasn’t shot on my street.

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

Your child learning to say mommy is when your life begins and ends.

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

Life is just a vicious cycle of needing to go to the grocery store.

Freshly posted on Threads:

“You just want an easy life.” Should I want a difficult one?

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Be the reason someone spits out their drink today.

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